Brim stood up and stared at me. This reaction was good; it meant that his memories weren’t surfacing too soon. I needed him not to remember until I was ready for it. Brim would understand once the memories were freed from the magic binds I placed on him. The same ones I put on myself to hide from the stars and protect Haden from jumping into my mind and seeing things he shouldn’t.
“He wiped your memories.”
This made me smile. I leaned back, relaxing slightly, knowing Brim wasn’t a threat to my plan.
“He tried, but he can’t use that magic against his own mate.” Or me in general. My magic would never work against me, even if it was Haden using it. “Did you know that there was a dead mating bond between us when I saw him in Akecia? The heavens ruled that two gods could not be mated, but he wasmine. The moment I saw him, I knew, but I needed to figure out how to undo what the heavens decided. I would not settle for anyone but Haden. I truly believe that the heavens thought that I wouldn’t see the bond between us—they were wrong, and it changed everything for me.”
Brim was losing it. He hurried over to a small cupboard and grabbed a bottle of liquor and began drinking it from the bottle. He offered it to me, and I figured it would help, so I took a swig from it.
“You remember meeting him the first time?”
“Yes, Brim, I made sure we met that day. It was not merely an accident that he saw me in Akecia. He always appeared there first when he surfaced, so I waited for him.” I left out the part that I summoned him there. Haden had never noticed that he left Hell more frequently or longer than his siblings.
“For the love of the heavens, what the fuck is happening, Della? Is this why you told me to tell Haden that you were never the prey, but the hunter?"
"Yes," I had forgotten that I told Brim that so long ago. Haden was feeling all sorts of guilt for something he had no control over.
I knew I needed to give him a sliver of the truth. A truth that not even Haden knew. There was so much about all of this that Haden didn’t know. What would he think when he found out I was the villain in this story? I manipulated him. He still thought he was in control of all of this, but it had always been me.
How did I tell him without him knowing I had been there when Haden was sentenced to Hell? That was the first time I had ever seen Haden, and it changed everything. My gaze moved to Brim.
“Did you know that the Gods of Hell are not supposed to have mates?” I asked him, and he nodded. “Haden does not know thatI used to visit him in Hell. He called into my mind as he slept. There was no way I was letting my real mate suffer down there.”
“You went to Hell?” Brim grabbed his scraggly white hair and yanked on it. “My mind is not comprehending what you are saying.”
“Yes,” I had gone to Hell nearly every night for a century to see Haden, even if he did not know I was there. I could not stay away from him. “He was my mate, even if he didn’t know it because the heavens tried to take it away.”
“He does.” Brim frowned. “He could see the faint mating bond between you two. He is convinced the stars killed it.”
So he did see it that day in Akecia. It wasn’t the stars who had done it, but the stars were the entire reason for this clusterfuck.
“Did you know that there is a God of Fate?” I asked.
“No, there isn’t.” He scoffed. But my smile widened. “There is a god no one knows about?”
“He is one of the old gods.”
Brim looked at me like I had lost my mind. The stars did not have power over the old gods. The first gods to be created were the most powerful. Only the heavens could stop them if they needed to be, and they likely wouldn’t. The biggest mistake that the heavens and old gods did was create the stars. Now that issue needs to be rectified.
“No one knows the old gods; they hide from us. They do not want to be involved in issues happening. And they do not share anything about themselves.”
I nodded. That was true. The gods did not want to be bothered, but I couldn’t blame them. If I had been one of the first gods, I would be hiding too. Living for that long would be a nightmare.
“Well, I’ve met him. He exists, and he is quite a pain in the ass.” I laughed at the memory of him. “He refused to help me change fate so Haden was actually mine. That mating bond between us was dead. It teased us with the idea that we shouldhave been together, but we couldn’t be. That damn curse on Haden forbade it.”
“I’m sorry… You met an old god?” He gawked at me.
“Yes.” I grinned. Abram had been such a pain in my ass too. I could see why he hid away from everyone; he was hardly sociable. “Now, let’s talk about the curse I put on myself.”
Brim stopped pacing around, and his mouth fell open. He reached forward and ripped the bottle of liquor from me, taking a swig from it.
“Ardella, you are full of secrets,” he said with concern. He had no fucking clue. “You cursed yourself?”
“Yes.” I leaned forward in the chair. “When I killed Remiah, I cursed myself.”
Brim came and sat down next to me in his chair. He reached for my hand and held it in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“I don’t understand.”
