But they didn’t even bat an eye.
“Sorry, everyone, but we need to end dinner.” Cassius glanced at them, and they all stood, knowing something was wrong. They shuffled out, and I stared at my two best friends—my family.
“You two knew.”
“Yes,” they said at the same time.
I felt a sting of betrayal course through me. How could they not have told me? I began pacing around like a fucking lunatic, muttering to myself. My mind was spiraling.
“She told you?” Thea asked.
“No, the void told me.” I glanced up at them. Sighing heavily at their confusion, I began explaining what the damn void was.
Their faces twisted in confusion. I thought he was gone. The void had not come to the surface since Remiah died.
“So, part of you knew this entire time that she was your mate?” Cassius looked at me oddly.
“I guess, but he didn’t tell me until after I fucking destroyed her heart.” Guilt began clawing at me. They would think I was a piece of shit when I told them what I had said.
“What did you do?” Thea said in a panic.
I shook my head. I didn’t want to tell them because I was a fucking bastard for it. Even if she wasn’t my mate, I would have ended up regretting those words.
“Tell us so we can help you fix this.” Cassius frowned at me as I trembled.
“I told her that she should have died instead of Remiah.”
Thea and Cassius both stared at me without saying anything. I watched Thea’s eyes turn red and Cassius’ flash black.
“Why would you ever say that to her?” Thea stepped forward, and Cassius grabbed her as if he feared she would come kill me herself.
“Because I was angry!” I yelled. “She killed my sister, and I can’t stop fucking loving her. I wanted her to feel terrible because she didn’t just kill Remiah that night; she killed us. She destroyed everything about our plans, about our future. I didn’t know that she didn’t have a choice. All of these years I stayed away from her because what kind of psycho kills the sibling of the man they love? And what kind of psycho still loves that woman after doing something so terrible?
“I felt like shit for those nine years because I could not fathom why she would kill Remiah. But worse than that, I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop loving her. Guilt constantly consumes me because I am in love with the woman who killed my only family. I thought I had to be fucked up in the head to love her. Do you understand the toll that takes on me?”
Thea and Cassius both watched me with pity in their eyes. Thea sighed and stepped forward, gripping me to her in a hug.
“She didn’t have a choice, Haden. It is like Cassius and me. We would choose each other over anyone else. You have to realize how devastated Della must have felt doing that, knowing that you would hate her. Della would never willingly take Remiah from you. She wouldn’t even tell you that you were mates because she wanted you to find happiness with someone else if you could. She has spent nine years trying to give you happiness even at the cost of her own.”
I could feel the pain and agony in my chest as I rubbed it. Cassius looked down at my hand and frowned.
“You’ve always done that. You do realize that whatever you are feeling right now is your bond?”
I stopped rubbing my hand against my chest and looked at him.
“It is?”
“Yes. We can feel each other’s emotions through it.” Cassius pointed to Thea, and I frowned.
“So, this feeling right now is Della? I feel like I am dying.”
Cassius frowned but nodded.
“I’m never going to make this right.” I started pacing again. “The void was so fucking pissed off at me. You should have seen her eyes. It was like I ripped her soul from her, and she was not in her own body anymore.”
“We will figure it out,” Thea said confidently. “She loves you, and you will make this right.”
I could feel the void pushing and pushing, demanding to be let out. I tried to shove back against him, to keep him from taking over, but he refused. Fuck, I closed my eyes as he clawed through my body painfully. He seeped into me and refused to be gentle about it. The familiar shiver ran up my spine before I opened my eyes.
