I smile at her blunt goodbye. “Love you, too.”
After a harrowing trip to the mall and a stop at the barber, I’m back in front of the mirror, inspecting the results of my efforts.
They’re…not terrible.
I hadn’t noticed how scraggly my beard was getting, so trimming that up on its own makes me look more put together. Paired with the dark wash jeans that cost more than they have any right to, and a charcoal sweater, I don’t cut too bad a figure. Thank goodness the restaurant we picked from the list of options is fairly casual. I’ll fit in fine.
Everything is fine. I can get through this, say I did it, and then go back to my loner alpha life.
The tiny flame of hope in my chest that life hasn’t yet fully extinguished flickers, reminding me that this could be a good thing. That a scent match could be the start of something amazing. A life where I have an omega, and maybe a pack, and we’re all happy together and someday have kids and…
Shit, nope. Stop. No point in imagining that.
I scrub a hand over my face and exhale, but it doesn’t dispel the expanding sensation of potential in my chest. It reminds me of when I met?—
Nope. Definitely not thinking about that.
I’ve got half an hour to kill before I need to head out, because I got dressed and ready too soon. I fix my hair unnecessarily in the mirror, check that my descenter is working despite my nerves, then bring up the text thread for the hundredth time today to make sure I have the time and location right.
I do. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
Not wanting to go down a dark spiral of rumination, I pull up my email. It’s mostly spam. Companies bombarding me with last-ditch efforts to buy for Valentine’s Day.
My alpha really wanted to get a gift for my date tonight, but it’s against the scent-matching service’s policy. Probably for the best. If I’d bought something, chances are I’d be too embarrassed to give it to my date. It’d end up buried in my nightstand, an expensive reminder of my failure to go with the set of bonding rings still shoved in there.
I almost accidentally delete the one email that I’m actually interested in—a message fromNestConfessions. Yes, I subscribe to a Slick model. I’m an alpha who, besides ill-fated brief attempts at dating, has been single for almost a decade.
The email wishes her followers a happy Valentine’s Day and lets us know that she’ll have a new video up tonight as a special treat. It’s sad that makes me smile, but I’m a realist. Odds are tonight will be a bust, and even if things go well, there’s no way I’m not going home alone. Now there’ll be something to distract me from wallowing in my disappointment when I get back.
With that pathetic thought, I close my emails. There’s still time before I leave if I don’t want to get to the restaurant way too early, so I grab my e-reader and try to pick back up where I left off in the latest Moonblood novel. When I reread the same paragraph three times, unable to focus on the words, I set the tablet down and groan, pinching my brow.
Okay, man, lock in.
I pull out the note I keep in my wallet. The one I’d die of embarrassment if anyone found out about. It’s well-worn from the years it’s been there, and the many times I’ve crumpled it up in frustration, then smoothed it back out.
I treat myself with loving kindness.
I deserve happiness and love.
This feeling won’t last forever.
I am a good person.
I am enough.
With a deep exhale, I put the note back in its place, check my appearance one last time, and head out the door.
chapter 2
. . .
ARCHER
The frazzled betalifts another cloche, almost knocking it into the one next to it in her hurry to bend forward and sniff the candle. I watch her reaction as surreptitiously as possible, hoping that this might be the one she’s searching for.
My stomach sinks in sympathy when her nose wrinkles.
“Dammit,” she mutters under her breath, setting the glass dome back in place over the candle and scrubbing a hand over her face. When she approaches the checkout counter, where I’m dutifully pretending to be busy and not observing her shopping, I look up and give her my most charming smile.
