I can deny it all I want, but looking at her now, as I take in those enchanting freckles dotting the bridge of her nose—her flushed cheeks, and the way she writhes under my touch—I know I’ve lost the fight with myself.
Forthe first time since we began this friends-with-benefits arrangement, I wonder if a future with her is really so far-fetched. I already know I’m going to hand in my resignation once I get back to DC. I think I’ve known it for a while. I just can’t see myself continuing to do this job with the same drive and passion I once held, and I’ve never been one to half-ass anything.
My country and the people I took an oath to protect deserve more, and after what my career has cost me, I just don’t think I have it in me to give it my all. Meeting Charlie changed my outlook on life. It’s like she’s flipped a switch inside me. Before her, I couldn’t picture my future. When I thought about what my life might look like twenty-five years from now, all I saw was a big, blank canvas. And then Charlie happened, barreling into the frame like a goddamn tornado, tipping over paint cans and leaving splashes of vibrant colors everywhere. She made me believe that, given time, I might be able to love again. Maybe even have a family, and suddenly, putting my life on the line in the name of justice just doesn’t seem worth it.
Going after people who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt the ones I love. Having to leave my wife and any children we might have for months-long undercover assignments and missing vital milestones in their lives in an attempt to cut off the head of the snake, only to discover the fat bastard was sitting on a whole nest of bottom-feeders,just waiting to take over is depressing, to say the least. I just can’t do it anymore, and truthfully, I’m starting to thinkIdeserve more. I’ve given enough and maybe, just maybe, it’s past time I was a little selfish.
Charlie reaches up and lays a hand on the side of my face, forcing me to meet her emerald eyes.
“Where’d you go just now?” she asks in a voice laced with concern. I shake off the intrusive thoughts battling for dominance in my head and force myself to focus on the here and now. Here I am, balls-deep in this sexy as fuck woman, and I’m contemplating career moves.What the hell is wrong with me?
“I’m right here,” I assure her before I pull my hips back and begin fucking into her with slow, controlled movements. Charlie’s breath hitches, and her hand falls away from my cheek to cup her full breasts. She twists her nipples between her thumb and forefinger, and her eyes roll back, a slight flush creeping up her chest. “That’s it, baby. Make yourself feel good,” I praise, as my tempo increases. I capture her lips, and our tongues meet, chasing and retreating until we’re both breathless. Touching my forehead to hers, I stare into her bottomless pools and press into her as far as I can go. I hold there for several heartbeats, grinding myself into her before I straighten, digging my teeth into my lip so hard I taste blood. Pushing her thighs into her chest, I let myself off the leash,jackhammering into her in a wild, uncontrolled way that forces the sexiest noises out of her.
“Oh my God, Cole. Please.”
“Please, what? What do you need, baby,” I ask, letting one of her thighs fall to the side in favor of rubbing her sensitive clit. Her hips buck at the contact, and she produces a keening sound that makes my balls tingle with my imminent release. I need her to come soon, because I don’t think I can hold out much longer.
“Who do you belong to?” I growl, needing to hear her say it before I allow myself to go over the edge.
“You. I’m yours,” she pants, utterly lost to her pleasure now.
“That’s right. You’re mine. This hot little body. This tight little cunt. That smart mouth of yours. All…Fucking…Mine.” Each word is accompanied by a punishing thrust that sends her further up the counter, desperate to drive the sentiment home. I’m aware my possessive behavior stands in stark contrast to the way I’ve acted toward her these past few days, but in this moment, the carnal need to claim her overrides all logic.
I throw a leg over my shoulder, successfully changing the angle and hitting that elusive spot inside her that makes her gasp every time. I plunge deep and keep up my ministrations on her little button. The dual assault has its intended effect, and I clench my jaw when her pussy grips me so hard I see stars. Biting the inside ofmy cheek, I desperately try to hang on to my last shred of control, wanting to draw this out for her.
Just a little longer, Cole.
Almost there.
I fuck into her harder while I push down on her lower belly, feeling my crown bump against my palm, as I apply more pressure to her clit.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit,” she screams, back shooting off the counter as she tries to get away from me, but I don’t let her retreat. Pulling her back onto me and holding her there, I release a low grunt when her cunt milks me for everything I’m worth, drawing my release out of me with an intensity that has my knees buckling. Spurt after spurt shoots from my cock, filling the condom until it feels like I have nothing left.
With a shuddering breath, I collapse on top of her and take a moment to get my bearings. Charlie’s chest heaves underneath mine, our heartbeats perfectly aligned. I stare down at her flushed face, trying to commit it to memory as I gently brush a tendril of hair off her cheek.
“You’re incredible. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you don’t matter to me or like I don’t desire you anymore. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I was only trying to protect you. To protectmyself,” I reluctantly admit, and Charlie’s features soften with a quiet understanding.
“Please, don’t avoid me anymore. If you’re determined to stay until Jason is dealt with, then you have to be honest with me. If you need space or you want me to back off altogether, talk to me. I think you’ll find I’m pretty reasonable, and I’d rather know where your head’s at than have you treat me like some leper. I may have developed feelings for you, but that doesn’t suddenly make me delusional. You’ve made it more than clear that this arrangement is temporary, and I’m telling you I want you anyway,” she states, scraping her nails over the short hair at the nape of my neck and sending a few more tremors through me. “I’m a big girl, and I can make my own choices. If I end up hurting after you’re gone, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. You’re worth it, Cole Foster, and I’d rather have all of you—even just for a little while—than not have you at all. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say, pressing a tender kiss to her lips before I untangle myself. We keep sneaking glances at each other as we clean ourselves up and make sure we’re presentable, and once Charlie’s done twisting her hair back into her trademark messy bun, she turns to me with a sly smirk.
“I was thinking of making homemade spaghetti carbonara for dinner. If you’re done being a coward and would like to join me, that is?”
“Ouch.” I press a hand to my sternum and don’t bother hiding my wince at her not-so-subtle dig. “I‘ve been called many things, but coward is a new one.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” she drawls, closing the distance between us to steal another kiss that leaves me wanting more. Staring up at me, her palms resting over my galloping heart, she says, “I gotta go get cabin three ready for tomorrow’s arrivals. Thank you for dealing with the flooring. You know you don’t have to do that, but I appreciate it all the same.”
I give her an acknowledging nod and can’t resist swatting her ass as she saunters on by. Releasing a startled yelp, she stops in the doorway one last time, peering over her shoulder at me. “I’ll see you at six?”
“I’ll be there.” Her bright smile fills my chest with emotion, and I find myself staring at the empty doorway long after she’s disappeared from view, wondering how the fuck I’ll ever be able to let her go.
twenty-nine
Charlie
Ihaven’t been able to wipe the goofy smile off my face all day following my confrontation/hottest sexual encounter of my life with Cole earlier. Even when a group of guests left one of the cabins in utter disarray, and I’d spent most of the afternoon scrubbing questionable stains off the pull-out sofa, it wasn’t enough to ruin the high I’m still floating on.
Dee told me the reason I keep having to deal with disrespectful guests is that I’m not charging enough. Low overnight rates attract low-end customers, according to my business-savvy friend, and maybe she’s right. But until I’ve whipped this entire place into the shape I’m striving for, I don’t feel right upping my prices. Not that I’m planning on turning it into a lavish destination for the rich andentitled, but it sure would be nice to attract the kind of clientele that would leave me with a rave review rather than their bodily fluids. Then again, I’m just glad the bookings are finally coming in steadily enough to give me a glimmer of hope for the future. For a few months there, I thought I’d made the mistake of a lifetime by putting all my eggs in one basket.
