“Well, we’ll have to change that. Maybe I’ll take you along on my next trip.”
It’s the first time I’ve voiced the possibility of this going past our time here, and Charlie halts her scrubbing long enough to gift me with the sort of smile that chips away at the layers of ice surrounding my heart.
“What else?” I grit out, swallowing down the emotion clogging my throat.
Dunking her sponge into the water, she takes her time wringing it out before she speaks again. “Not sure. Become a mom. Have a kid or two. Fall in love?”
“In that order?” I ask, humor lacing my tone, and her eyes flash with amusement. If I was asked even a couple of months ago if I’d ever want another child, I’d have said, not a chance in hell.
The mere thought of bringing someone else into the world who’d make me fall in love so completely, just to run the risk of having that someone taken away from me again, would’ve been too much to consider. Truthfully, I simply couldn’t picture being with someone in a serious way after losing Elena. But looking at the courageous woman standing across from me now, the one who looks like she belongs in the moors of the Scottish Highlands, andimagining her belly swollen with my child, somehow doesn’t seem all that absurd.
Whoa, time to pump the brakes there, champ. You barely even know the girl.Besides, how would that even work? My life is in DC. She’s just starting over in the Pacific Northwest. Our lives don’t mix. We’re too different. And yet, I can’t deny that she makes me feel things I thought I’d never feel again. I like the person I am around her, and I’m slowly but surely starting to live again. Would it really be so far-fetched to entertain the idea of a future together? Would she even want me to be a part of hers? Maybe I’m getting way ahead of myself. Maybe I’m nothing but a rebound to her. A convenient fling she can cast aside when the time comes.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I shove my fingers back into my work gloves. “I’m sure you’ll end up living a full, long, and happy life, and whoever it is you’ll eventually fall for is one lucky son of a bitch.”
Charlie stares me down for several silent moments before she gives me a single nod and gets back to work herself. And like the coward I swore I’d never be, I take the opportunity to roll my wheelbarrow out of the cabin that suddenly has an almost claustrophobic feel to it and walk away from the temptation within.
twenty-five
Charlie
Istare at the wordUnknownlighting up my screen and consider not answering. I changed my number when I started my new life and haven’t handed out my new digits to more than a handful of people. My palms are slick with sweat at the possibility that Jason has somehow gotten ahold of it, and is now calling to spew new threats. Curiosity eventually wins out, however, and I pick up with a hesitant, “Hello?”
“Red. It’s Maddox,” the familiar voice of Cole’s best friend sends a flood of relief through me. “Listen, I don’t have much time and the connection is shit, but I just wanted to check in and ask how things are going on your end? Any more trouble?”
“All good here,” I reply, dropping to the sofa to give my weak knees a break, grateful to have avoided my bully of an ex for another day.
It’s been weeks since the bar incident. Blissfully uneventful weeks at that, and I’ve almost managed to convince myself that Cole’s presence in my life has caused Jason to cut his losses. Maybe he’s decided I’m not worth the hassle and has finally moved on. A girl can dream, right?
“Things have been quiet since you left. Nothing out of the ordinary, but Cole could’ve told you as much. I’m sure he would’ve loved to talk to you. Not that I’m not happy to hear your voice. How did you even get this number?” I’m aware I’m rambling, and judging by the low chuckle coming from the other end, Maddox seems to find my word vomit amusing.
“I have my ways,” he shouts over the whirring sound of what I can only assume to be a freaking helicopter. “Cole isn’t picking up his phone, which is to be expected given the date. I told myself not to get involved, but that’s actually the other reason I’m calling. Knowing Cole, he probably hasn’t told you that today would’ve been his and Elena’s fifteenth wedding anniversary. He’s not great when it comes to sharing his feelings, so I’m guessing he probably made himself scarce. Am I right?”
My heart drops into my stomach when the significance of today’s date truly sinks in. I thought Cole had been acting a little withdrawn these past couple of days, but when I asked if anything was bothering him, he told me it was nothing I needed to concern myself with. When I woke up this morning, his side of the bed felt cold to the touch, and he was nowhere to be found. I figured he may have taken a longer run—he does that sometimes when he needs to clear his head—or maybe he’d gone to pick up a few things from town and would be back soon with coffee and treats. I simply hadn’t been worried until now.
“I haven’t seen him this morning. He was gone when I woke up.”
Maddox gives a low grunt. “Figures. Listen, I know Cole, and he’s going to struggle today. Last year he got so fucked up I had to scrape his ass off the back alley of a seedy bar. Found him passed out and bleeding all over the cobblestone. I made sure he wasn’t seriously injured and dragged him to my truck before I went inside to find out who was responsible for his condition. The owner of the joint told me Cole had been drinking heavily and started picking a fight with a group of shady-looking guys for no apparent reason. Kept goading them until they eventually took the bait and followed him out back where they beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Apparently, Cole hadn’t even put up a fight. In fact, heseemed to be smiling the entire time. Dude said it was the strangest thing he had ever witnessed. Just give me a damn minute,” he suddenly shouts, making me jump about a foot before he follows it up with a mumbled, “Impatient fuck. Sorry about that,” he tells me before hurrying to get the rest of his heartbreaking story out. “Long story short, when one of them eventually knocked him out, the owner stepped in. Told them he’d call the cops if they didn’t leave. Once they no longer posed a threat, he noticed Cole’s phone lighting up on the ground beside him. It must’ve fallen out of his pocket during the altercation. I’d been calling him on and off all day, trying to find him. The guy picked up and told me where I could collect my lunatic of a friend. His words, not mine. He was in pretty rough shape, but didn’t seem at all regretful about the way his night ended. Went through a bit of a self-destructive phase after that.” Maddox pauses, and I worry I might crack the screen of my cell phone, I’m gripping the device so hard. “I’m telling you all this because I know he won’t ask for help. In fact, he’ll most likely tell you to take a hike. Maybe he’ll even say something to hurt your feelings in an attempt to push you away. Don’t let him. I know he cares for you, but the guilt over being with you will eat at him more than usual today, and I’d feel better if he had someone looking out for him.”
My heart aches for what this beautiful, kind, and protective man has gone through, and I promise Maddox I’ll make sure his friend won’t be alone with his dark thoughts.
“How’s Dee?” he asks once he knows he’s done all he can for his buddy from wherever he’s calling from. His tone is casual, but there’s an underlying vulnerability that makes me hopeful on behalf of my friend. Dee has been unusually glum since her night with the enigmatic soldier, and I don’t like seeing her that way.
“She’s okay. Keeping busy with the café. The summer months are always hectic for her. Doesn’t have much time to dwell on anything.”
A loud explosion has me ripping the phone away from my ear, but I press it back to the side of my face just in time to catch Maddox’s colorful curse. “Shit. Gotta go, Red. Tell Dee I said hi and take care of my boy, alright?”
“What’s happening? Are you in danger? Maddox?” I shout in a voice laced with panic, but the connection has already been severed. I sit on my couch in a daze, clutching my phone in my lap while I will the screen to light up again, even though, logically, I already know it won’t. Inhaling a deep breath and trusting that Maddox can take care of himself, I decide to locate the man I can actually do something for.
It takes me a while, but I eventually find him, and I take a moment to observe him in what I have come to think of as his designated spot. He’s sitting on the beach with his legs drawn to his chest, chin resting on his knees as he stares out over the calm water with unseeing eyes. He doesn’t turn when I approach, but tenses enough to let me know he’s well aware of my presence.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Tink,” he says in a flat tone when I lower myself to the ground beside him. “I’m not really in a talkative mood right now.”
“I know. I’m not expecting you to talk. I just want you to know you’re not alone.”
“What if I want to be alone?” I try not to take his snappy answer to heart. With Maddox’s words still ringing fresh in my ear, I know he’s most likely lashing out because he’s in pain.
“I don’t think Elena would want you to be alone.”
