Linus thankfully changes the subject. “So. How’s Padraig?”
I glance out the window. “Same. One foot in, one foot gone. He swears he’s quittin’ every six months, but he neverdoes.”
“Still loyal.”
“Still pissed.”
“At you?”
I shake my head. “At himself.”
Linus watches me, unreadable. I go on. “He had everything once. A great love. Someone to grow old with. Now he’s only got me and a rockstar dream he never wanted.”
“Not true. He always intended on doing this with you.” He nearly reaches for my hand, but visibly restrains himself.
“It’s complicated,” I concede. “He loves makin’ music with me but doesn’t enjoy the rest of it. The grind. The instability. We’ve lost three singers. Koko was the best of them. She lasted the longest.”
Linus tilts his head. “So, it’s true? Is she really gone?”
“Yep. Left after the last show.” I wince. “Got a solo deal.”
“Timing is terrible. You’re finally on the mainstream charts.” Linus furrows his brow.
“Yeah, well, she wants her own thing. Said the band didn’t feel sustainable.”
“Is it?”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Depends who you ask. To me, Fireball is all I’ve dreamed of. To Padraig, it’s all he’s got. Truthfully, we’re taking a short break to regroup.”
Linus nods slowly. “Wow. Heavy.”
“Yeah.”
“Will he walk away?”
“Ach, no. Probably not on his own accord.” I keep my eyes fixed on Linus’ strong hands before I flick my eyes up to his. “Maybe I should let him.”
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to.
Then he says, carefully, “So you’re in Dublin to patch holes.”
I exhale. “Aye. I suppose I am.”
The shift is subtle, but I feel it. The weight of everything unsaid pulls the air tighter between us.
Things we didn’t finish. Lingering feelings.
I remember the last time I touched him. Boarding pass in his hand. My heart clogged with grief. The frantic way he kissed me. Held me so tightly like he never wanted to let go.
Now we’re here. The past bleeding forward, asking if we still matter.
We do.
God, wedo.
I feel the tether between us. Tenser than it has any right to be.
He finishes his coffee and leans back. “I’m a few blocks away.”
