Liam looks at me quizzically. “So, she didn’t take it well.”
“No.” I swallow. “I get it. I made her feel small. Like she wasn’t enough. I tried to explain, but…”
Liam’s eyes squeeze shut. He gets it.
“Look, what I did was wrong. I wouldn’t ever do it again. She wanted to brush it under the rug and keep goin.” I wince at the memory of the girl I spent so much time with. “I broke it off by comin’ here..”
“Her da?”
“Dunno. I begged her not to tell him.” I internally recoil at how desperate I felt in the moment. “Mostly, I was worried he’d tell my folks.”
Liam’s fingers cover mine.
“She’s not cruel,” I add. “But she’s hurt. And hurt people can be dangerous. I’d like to be able to control my own narrative, ya know, but it’s outta my hands.”
Silence sits between us for a beat.
“Aye. I know.” He bites his lip, likely in memory of his da’s violence. He hasn’t talked about it much since he confided in me, but I can tell it weighs on him.
“I wasn’t lyin’ to her when I said I loved her,” I confess. “She was real to me. But there’s a part of me she never touched. Not ’cause I didn’t want her to. I didn’t know how to tell her I was bisexual. I never want to be in a relationship without full transparency again.”
Liam watches me. No judgment, no distance. Only understanding. “Tell me about the guy.”
“Summer holiday with my folks.”
He goes quiet, letting me fill the space on my own terms. “There was this lad at the resort. Ripped. Blond. He caught me starin’ and smiled like he knew what I was after. On our last night, I decided to take a walk around the hotel grounds. Hoped I’d see him. Sure enough, he was waiting. I followed him into a dark corner. He dropped to his knees.”
Liam strokes my chest, listening.
“I let him. I needed it. Wasn’t even thinkin’. Burned for it.”
“You finish?” He smiles.
I nod. “In his mouth.”
Liam whistles.
“I felt sick after.” I bite my lower lip. “Not ’cause of what we did. ’Cause I liked it too much. Spent the whole flight home tryin’ not to cry at how I’d betrayed her.”
“You knew you were bi then?” His eyes searched mine.
I kiss his forehead. “Being with him made it real. Tell me about your first time.”
Liam brushes his fingers along my thigh. “You really wanna know?”
I nod, already half-mast. All this talk about sex has me ready to go again.
“Happened right after I turned seventeen, a few months before Da’s accident. I’d been fucking girls for years. Easy, fun, nothing deep. I’d been noticin’ guys since my dickstarted gettin’ hard. Never said it out loud. Never acted on it. Only Padraig knew.” He shifts beside me, eyes on the ceiling, remembering. “Anyway, there was this older guy who worked at a vintage record store on Capitol Hill. Always flirted when I came in. One night he invited me upstairs to his loft. It was quintessential Seattle. Velvet couches, incense and candles.”
He glances over at me. “I was nervous, but horny as hell. He offered me a beer, which I declined, and sat beside me so close our legs touched. When he kissed me, I didn’t hesitate. I let him push me back onto the couch.”
“He didn’t fuck me.” Liam’s voice lowers. “I thought he would. I wanted him to. He could tell I was tense. Inexperienced. Said he’d ease me in.”
Picturing the scene is so goddamn hot.
“He undressed me. Lubed my ass and fingered me. One, then two. Scissored them. When he hit my prostate, my whole body lit up. You know what I mean. He blew my fuckin’ mind and I forgot to be afraid.”
Liam notices my dick standing at attention and fists it, stroking me as he speaks. “When he took my cock in his mouth, I came so violently, I thought I’d blacked out.”
