I toss the laptop on the couch and run a hand through my hair. The sun’s dipping low behind the hills, painting the edges of our backyard in rose-gold light. Still, I can’t find peace. Not with this weight in my chest. Stepping onto the balcony of our LA house, I watch the skyline blur beneath me. For once, the house is quiet. Linus and Avonna took the girls to the park.
I grip the railing and breathe.
This was supposed to be the chapter where we all rise. Everything was finally lining up. The album is strong. Thelabel’s backing us. We’re finally making real money. Enough to have help. Enough to tour smart.
Now Padraig wants to walk.
I should have known. There’s a new light in him I haven’t seen in years. I wonder if he’ll tell me someday. Wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, after my own failures.
I can’t believe how far apart we are. I miss him.
I stare out at the sunset, a thousand versions of a future spinning through my mind. Every one of them missing the one person I thought would be beside me until the end.
I’m not angry. I’m sad.
There’s no Fireball without him and I’m not ready for it to end.
The front door clicks open, and I hear the thud of small shoes on hardwood.
“Da-da!” Quinn barrels around the corner, curls wild from the car seat. I scoop her up as Sloane rushes in after her.
Linus follows, carrying their bags and looking exhausted but happy. “We’re home.”
“They were angels. Mostly.” Avonna kisses my cheek.
We settle into our evening rhythm. Linus reheats the pasta from the night before. I cut strawberries for dessert. Avonna pours water into their little unicorn cups. It’s chaos. Squeals, spilled sauce, bouncing feet. I love every minute.
While the girls devour their dinner, I recount the call. Every word.
“He said no?” Linus frowns.
“For now.” I lift my gaze. “I don’t think he will forever.”
Avonna’s already nodding. “He’s scared. Maybe he needs to see what’s possible.”
“We could fly up for a McGloughlin dinner,” Linus suggests. “Bring the girls. Make it a weekend.”
“Show him what the tour could look like if he’s ready. Not a pitch. Just…a window,” Avonna adds.
“I want him back,” I admit. “I miss him.”
Avonna reaches for my hand. “Then we go.”
Later, after baths and bedtime stories, the girls are finally down. Sloane’s foot dangles over the side of the toddler bed. Quinn’s already kicked her blanket off. I pull it up gently, smoothing curls from her cheek before slipping out.
Our bedroom glows in the soft light of the moon filtering through gauzy curtains. The windows are cracked open, letting in a whisper of wind. The custom bed, California King dimensions, specially built extra wide, is a cloud of linen and pillows.
Linus is already half-sprawled across the center, shirt off, in his boxer briefs. Avonna’s in nothing but one of my old tees, the hem riding up her thighs, exposing her perfect pink pussy.
I hover at the edge, watching the two of them. My anchors, my chaos, my home. Tonight, I want everything.
“I need you both.” I strip off my clothes as I step closer.
Avonna’s breath catches, eyes going molten. Linus rises to his knees, divesting his briefs with calm precision. His cock bounces against his belly, the visual makes my own twitch with anticipation.
After pulling off her shirt, Avonna plucks her nipple with one hand and spreads her legs. Beckons me. I practically dive on top of her. Her hand slips between us to grip my cock.
Linus moves behind me, lips brushing my shoulder. “You ready?”
