Liam flinches like she struck him.
I want to step in, ease the edge, but she’s right.
Avonna keeps going. “Either get into therapy like you promised or stop letting your warped perceptions of how other people view you control your life. You’re so adamant about protecting the band, your brother and your family from the idea of us when we’re the ones who love you, would do anything for you. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. Stop letting old ghosts decide who you get to love.”
Silence folds over us.
Liam drops onto the sofa and stares into space. “You think I don’t wake up every day terrified I’ll lose you both?”
“Well, congratulations, you’re already halfway there.” Her eyes close. Tears spill down her cheeks. “Every time you choose silence, every time you let me fade into the background, I slip a little further. I love you both, but love isn’t supposed to shrink you. It’s supposed to expand.”
LTZ materializes on the screen. Liam drags a hand through his hair. I sit on the coffee table in front of her.
Avonna grasps Liam’s hand and then takes mine. “It’s time for you both to decide who you want to be. If we’re a family, then let’s be one. If we’re not, be honest with me so I can stop pretending this is something precious. If I’m not enough—if our baby isn’t enough…”
Her voice cracks on the word “baby.”
Liam cups her jaw, thumb brushing away a tear. “Youareenough. You both are. I need to wise the fuck up.”
“Time doesn’t stop for anyone.” Avonna meets his eyes. “Not for love. Not for fear.”
“Tomorrow.” He nods, breath shaky. “I’ll tell Padraig tomorrow. He’ll help me figure out how to tell da.”
“I’ll book a trip to Dublin when Liam’s talking to Padraig.”
“You mean it?” Her lips part, a whisper of disbelief.
He nods again. “I won’t lose you.”
“Me either.” I squeeze her fingers.
A fragile sense of relief flickers across her face. “Then let’s go to the hotel. I’m peopled out.”
I help her to her feet. Liam steadies her other side.
The crowd beyond the walls roars for LTZ’s final encore.
We slip out the back of the dressing room, three figures moving through a maze of corridors.
The world outside doesn’t know who we are to each other yet.
Tonight, for the first time, it feels like they might.
forty-six
Liam
A Couple Hours Later
Steamdissipatesfromtheshower.
I dry off, replaying the night in my mind.
Killer show. My family was proud. Avonna pale and shaking, Seamus urging a pregnancy test. Her fierce insistence she won’t be hidden anymore.
All the while, Linus’s eyes were on me. Silent. Knowing.
I’ve been a fucking coward for too long. I love them both and I know I don’t deserve either of them.
