“I don’t know what he’ll see,” he snaps, his head whipping up. “I don’t know what he’ll feel. I do know I’m not going to drop a bomb unless I’m sure it won’t blow up everything we’ve worked for more than a fuckin’ decade.”
Avonna, who’s watched our discussion with fascination, slides in beside him and cups his face. “From what I can tell, you’re worried he’ll think you’re choosing us over him.”
Liam winces. He gives her an almost imperceptible nod.
“I understand you’re nervous.” She kisses his nose. “At the same time, keeping our relationship in the shadows to make him more comfortable won’t work for me if you want me in the band.”
He looks at her, shocked. “Avonna, this isn’t about hidin’ you.”
“You already are hiding me. Especially if Padraig knows you’re sleeping with Linus.” She sits back and crosses her arms. “I sleep with Linus too, do you really think I’m not going to share a room with my husband?”
The air cracks.
I shift forward. “This shouldn’t feel like pressure. We’re not some experimental phase you get to stash behind band politics. You don’t want to tell him you’re involved with us for a while, fine. Avonna’s right, though. We’re not lyin’ about our marriage.”
“Fuck me.” Liam’s eyes narrow. “How can you say I’m not an experimental phase?”
“Excuse me?” My jaw drops.
“You two aremarried,“ he snarls. “You have each other no matter what. Legal. Permanent. If this goes sideways, I’m the one who ends up outside again. If Padraig bails on me, I’ll have fuckin’nothin’.”
My stomach drops. “Liam—”
“You don’t get it.” His eyes flash. “I’m the odd man out. You wake up every day knowin’ you have each other. So yeah, maybe I’m scared to tell Padraig. If this goes to shit, I’ll lose my band and the only real relationship I’ve ever had.Again.”
“You think we’d let you go?” Avonna recoils.
“I’ve been let go before. By my own father. Linus left too.” Liam buries his face in his hands. “I’m not some naive twenty-year-old playin’ house with his boyfriend and girlfriend in college. How does this relationship make sense? How do I fuckin’ explain it?”
Fuck. His words hit deeper than I want to admit.
He’s not wrong.
Avonna and I were married before we brought Liam into our relationship. We opened our door, our bed, our hearts, but we haven’t talked about what this looks like forever. Not with words.
Or paper.
Certainly, not enough to make Liam feel secure. To quiet whatever ghosts still claw at him.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” I promise.
“Neither am I.” Avonna moves her hands from his face to grips his hands.
Liam’s eyes dart between us, suspicious. “Can you please get off my grill, then? I know Padraig better than both of you, let me handle it. I don’t intend to explain myself every fuckin’ day.”
“You’re right.” I exhale, the fight releasing in my chest. “We haven’t proved our commitment to you yet. You’ve been carryin’ more than a fear of Padraig’s reaction. You’ve have doubt. About us.”
He winces. “Iwantto trust this isn’t going to vanish if things get messy.”
“It won’t.” Avonna leans her head on his shoulder. “You’re not the only one who needs clarity. If I’m gonna be Fireball’s singer, I can’t do it half-exposed. You know how I grew upand I’m not going to live a life ashamed of who I love. I won’t lie. If Padraig asks, I’m telling him the truth. I love Linus. I love you. If you doubted how I feel, now you know.”
He swallows.
“Liam, all I ask is for you to stop pretendin’ this is about protectin’ Padraig.” I move to his side and clasp his shoulder. “It’s okay to protect yourself. We need to be on the same side to build our perfect future.”
Silence.
Finally, Liam nods. “All I ask is we ease into it. No surprise reveals. No chaos.”
