Hell, I can’t even talk to or touch him.
Somehow, that’s never mattered. It always felt like we knew each other despite that, like we were connected through a greater force. Since my sixteenth birthday, he has found me in our dreams at least twice a week. Sometimes more than that.
Peeking my eyes open, I startle at the dark field in front of me. I’m in the middle of brittle grass, surrounded by ominous trees. All of the plants are dried up skeletons of their former selves. And it’s cold here—my breath comes out in puffs in front of me.
This is not where I meant to go.
Divination Witches are the only ones who can dreamwalk. It’s one of the most mysterious abilities, so I don’t understand thelogistics of how it works—which can be said about a lot of magic. It meanshehas air magic and that he’s the one who controls these visits.
It’s been over a month since he’s come to visit me.
It was foolish to try to find him, especially knowing I’m prone to nightmares. I couldn’t stop myself. His presence is like a balm to my soul. I’ve dreamed about meeting him—imagining what his features look like with his dark brown hair and tall, lean body.
It’s a peculiar thing to be so connected to another soul without any ties to their physical bodies, yet I find myself called to this man with the obscured face more than any person I’ve met in real life. His magic allows me to pick up on his emotions while we’re in dreams together, so on some plane of existence, I do know him. I’m positive about it. It’s not in a way that can be explained, so he has stayed my secret for eleven years now.
I hoped one night with him would give me the courage I need to leave before my mother wakes up. Even a few seconds might have been enough.
This feels like a sign.
Not a good one.
A single tear falls down my cheek, mocking my loneliness.
Twisting my lips to the side, I slowly spin in a circle, the spell to wake myself up on the tip of my tongue. A blood-curdling scream comes out first.
When I turn back around, there’s someone standing in front of me…
Not someone.
Me.
My mouth gapes open as my scream dies off.
I mean, she looks like me—identical, even. But she doesn’tfeellike me. There’s a heaviness and maturity to her soul that hasn’t found mine yet.
She’s a stranger wearing my face.
It reminds me of the strange woman who stopped at the apothecary a few years ago, the one who said I look like her dead great-grandmother. Her comment left me with a strange sensation for days, but it’s the regret of letting a Gray Witch walk away that lingers years later. One of the few I’d ever met, and I didn’t even try to ask any of the questions that continue to plague my soul.
I tilt my head, and so does she.
Whispering, I ask, “What do you wan—”
“Now, Renata,” she says. Her voice has a slightly higher lilt than mine. It’s almost unnoticeable. “You have to go now. And don’t come back.”
“What?” I ask as she grabs my shoulders and shoves me backward.
The next moment, I’m in my bed, flying into a sitting position and gasping for breath. A minute later, my phone starts vibrating. I know without looking it’s my three a.m. alarm.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, my leg shakes as I watch the clock. It didn’t take me long to grab a few last minute things. I packed before going to sleep. It all fits into one suitcase and a tote bag—plus the small emergency duffel bag I always kept in my car on the off chance I was ever brave enough to leave.
I’ve been sitting here for the last forty-five minutes, trying to convince myself I am courageous enough.
Glancing around my room, I consider whether there’s anything else I want to take. Not a single thing catches my attention.
Around my neck is the silver choker with a small black tourmaline charm that I wear every day. It was the last gift I received from my father before he passed away. He wasn’t afraid of my magic, or even the curse looming over me. He wanted me to be happy. Safe and protected, sure, but mostly justhappy. It’s the only thing I have from him a decade later.
I take one last look around, engraving in my mind the few happy memories I have of this bedroom, and stand. Hexate perks up from her place by the window and slithers toward me. She’s usually hunting at this time of night but stayed in, knowing I’d need her companionship if I was going to make it one step out of the door. As my bonded animal, she would find me anywhere. She’d travel across the world if I was evertaken from her. My soul would call her to Briarhollow if I left while she was out. My courage to leave is tangled with her presence.
