I don’t know if it’s an accident, or if he’s as called to me at this moment as I am to him, but either way, his attention is firmly focused on me now.
As quickly as it hit me in the library, I can see the realization dawning on him with each millisecond he stares at me.
I’m positive it’s no more than five seconds until I’m able to shake myself out of it, but it feels like an eternity I could easily get stuck in.
“I’m sorry, Eden,” I mumble and clumsily pass the glass vial back into her hands. “I—I’m not feeling very well. I’ll come back for that later.”
Before I can get more than a step away from her, she grabs my arm and turns me back to her. I catch the curious, concerned look she throws in Archer’s direction. Just as quickly, she’s firmly pushing the vial back into my hand.
“Pay me later,” she says and pushes me on my way. As I stumble forward, accepting the only way out of the apothecary is to go around him, Eden turns her attention to him. “How can I help you, sir?”
A new wave of gratitude rushes through me at her effort to distract him, though it’ll be a fruitless effort.
He watches me as I make my way around him, hiding my face as if it would make a difference, and careful not to come into physical contact with him. I can feel his gaze on me every step of the way.
He says something to Eden, but I don’t catch it before I’m jogging down the street. Without looking, I take the first left and enter the town’s botanical gardens. Rowyn showed Clementine and me around one afternoon, so I know to take the first right. After that, I’m lost in the maze.
Rowyn walked through here so confidently, I didn’t realize how many pathways there were to choose from. Despite the garden being well-kept by the Green Witches, the tall hedges and rose bushes are at least eight feet tall, so it’s only possible to see in front of, or behind me.
Quickly, I spin in place and consider my options. Archer will come looking for me. It’s inevitable at this point.
Taking the first opening to my left, I come around the corner to a wall of leaves. As fruitless as it is, I back up until I’m pressed against one of the shrubs, hoping the rose vines will create a shield around me.
Heart racing, I lean my head against the wall and take a deep breath. I rub my clammy palms down my skirt and take a second to look up at the sky, not sure if I should curse or thank the universe.
Closing my eyes, I have no choice now but to wait, intuitively knowing he’ll be right there when I open them again.
Chapter 22
Archer
Over the last few nights, I’ve sat up wondering if this is how the woman in my dreams felt when I didn’t visit her for a few months.
One day, I woke up after spending a night with her and told myself I couldn’t do that again—not only to myself, but to her.
It wasn’t fair, and I thought I was doing right by both of us.
After trying to find her the last few nights, I realize now what it feels like to have that choice taken away.
Every night, I’ve tried to find her in our meadow, needing to see that she’s okay after the last time. I’ve never been so worried. Not being able to see what causes her so much distress or comfort her made me fucking feral. Her panic was coursing through me, making me want to scour the earth until I found her.
Then she was gone.
I assume she used the spell to wake herself up since it’s the second time she’s disappeared so quickly. Usually, it’s a slow fade as consciousness slowly starts to burrow its way in.
I’ve been telling myself that she’s alive and safe, because I’d feel it if she wasn’t.
Truthfully, I don’t know whether that’s possible, but with this mental connection we’ve developed over the last decade, a part of me believes it.
If I could find her in our dreams, get one half-glimpse of her and a sense of her emotions, I could be positive.
The restless nights of untangling my subconscious in search of her is taking a physical and mental toll on me. From the look of concern on Sybil’s face this morning, she’s starting to see it too.
I promised myself one week of deep, uneventful sleep before I search for her again.
Even if that means taking a sleep elixir.
My mom would often make them for Sybil and me when we were kids—Divination and Gray Witches are naturally prone to nightmares when their magic is developing—but with her halfway across the continent, I’ll have to buy one.
