Derek glances over his shoulder, eyes meeting mine. His lips quirk into a smile and my face flames. Does he know I’m picturing him naked? I swallow heavily and wish away the last of my arousal before it has a chance to make itself known—my running shorts aren’t very forgiving.
We slow to a jog, then walk, catching our breath. There’s a bench off the path and under a tree in the shade. We make our way across the grass and drop onto the seat next to each other.Derek’s shoulder grazes mine, my pulse leaping at the casual touch. As much as I want to stay connected, I shimmy along a little and reach for my bottle. The water is cold and welcome, quenching my thirst and giving me a moment to collect myself.
“So, Nathan told me things with Tim ended badly,” Derek says.
I wondered how long it would take him to get around to it. I meet his eyes and see a hint of sadness there. Both he and Nathan never liked Tim. For good reason, it turns out.
I shrug. “I saw a side of him I didn’t like.”
“What happened?” he asks softly.
The breeze ruffles my hair as I swallow another mouthful of water and stare across the park at the lake. “He made some bad decisions. I’m not sure of the details, only that the scandal lost his firm some major clients. He ended up losing his job.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been tough.”
I shrug, staring at the ground. “I could cope with him making a mistake, being unemployed…” My words trail off as I recall the events of a few months ago. I take a deep breath. “I tried to support Tim emotionally, you know? He’d fucked up, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t come back from. We all make mistakes. However, he struggled to find another job, and the bills started mounting up. He moved in with me. Moving in together wasn’t something we were planning on, but there wasn’t much choice when he couldn’t pay his rent. He wouldn’t talk about the trouble he was having getting work and started staying out all night. I just wanted to help but I guess he felt pressured—”
“Hey.” Derek places a hand on my arm. “You can’t blame yourself.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t pushed so hard—”
“Don’t do that,” he says, voice firm. “Tim made his own choices.”
Our last argument flashes in my mind. Tim stumbling home at dawn, smelling of alcohol, shoving past me on the way to the bathroom. The sound of the toilet flushing and him appearing in the hall, eyes bloodshot and heavy lidded. The way he yelled that I wasn’t his mother, that he was only there because he had nowhere else to go.
“It’s a moot point anyway,” I say. “Even in his desperation, I wasn’t good enough, apparently.”
“Ryan.” Derek’s firm voice draws my gaze. “Don’t say that. You’re one of the most caring guys I know, and deserve so much more than someone who doesn’t appreciate you.”
Warmth blooms in my chest at his praise, replacing the lingering sadness. “You really think so?”
“I know so.” Derek squeezes my shoulder. “Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
My eyes lock with his, and my breath catches at the weight of his gaze, the way hereallylooks at me. I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod. I’m grateful for Derek’s presence in my life, even if we’re only destined to remain friends. He makes me believe I can be a better man and that I’m meant for good things.
A smile tugs at my lips. “Thanks, mate. You’re a good friend.”
Derek’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he softly smiles. “Anytime.”
His hand remains on my shoulder for a moment longer, and I focus on the warmth of his touch. It makes me thankful to be back in town, to be surrounded by people who care about me. It’s just a shame that Nathan is working on the west coast for at least the next six months.
Derek gestures to my bottle, encouraging me to drink. I take a gulp of water.
We empty our bottles in companionable silence then start running again. I match Derek’s long strides, our arms brushing occasionally, sending a thrill through me. I want to reach forhis hand—God, it’s so tempting—but don’t dare. Instead, I daydream about what it would be like to be able to touch him any time I wanted.
As we loop back towards the car park, Derek speaks up. “Do you have plans next weekend?”
My heart leaps at the question. “No, why?”
“I was thinking we could hang out. Maybe order some pizza, watch a movie?” He shrugs, casual and laid-back. “If you want company, that is.”
“I’d like that.” I hide my grin, hoping I don’t sound too eager.
Derek nods, a smile tugging at his lips. “My place, Saturday at seven?”
“Sure.” I match his casual tone. An evening together, just the two of us—it sounds like a date. I know it isn’t but my body doesn’t seem to know that, my insides doing cartwheels.
We reach our cars, catching our breath. Derek moves closer and for a wild second, I think he might kiss me. But he just squeezes my shoulder again. “See you in a few days.”
