My mouth goes dry and I swallow hard, meeting his gaze. “Ryan, we need to talk.”
He looks at me with wary eyes but says nothing. I take a deep breath and plunge in before I lose my nerve. “Lily gave you my letter.”
Ryan’s gaze drops to his lap where he’s twisting his hands together. I move to sit next to him on the couch and place a hand over his, stopping his fidgeting. He still doesn’t meet my eyes.
“The things I said in that letter...” I trail off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “They’re true, Ryan. Every word.”
He finally looks up. “I understand,” he says, his voice soft.
There’s sadness written all over his face, and my stomach drops. His reaction confirms my worst fears, that we’re not on the same page as far as our relationship is concerned. “You do?”
He nods. “I’m sorry I read the letter. I know it was private and personal and Lily shouldn’t have given it to me. I didn’t realise what it was until I opened it.”
“I shouldn’t have left it on the table. I didn’t even notice it was missing,” I say. I wish Ihadnoticed because I should have given him the letter myself. “I should have been the one to tell you how I feel, not let you read it on a piece of paper.”
Ryan frowns. “Whatever happens, I don’t want to lose our friendship, Derek.”
Now it’s my turn to frown. “That’s never going to happen, even if you don’t want the same things I do. You’re much too important to me. It’s okay, Ryan, really it is. I’m a big boy and can handle rejection.”
The furrows on Ryan’s brow deepen. “Huh?”
It suddenly occurs to me that maybe we’ve got our wires crossed.Oh my God, please let that be the case!Hope flares brightly in my chest. I take his hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. “I think we’re talking at cross purposes here. The letter was meant for you, Ryan.”
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
His words tumble through my mind as I try to make sense of them. He meant the letter for me. I’m the Valentine and Derek is my Secret Admirer. But, most importantly, he loves me.
Me. Ryan Gardiner, the screw-up little brother. My chest clenches as that familiar self-doubt creeps in. Successful, gorgeous Derek Rivers could have any guy, or woman, he wants. Sure, it’s my wildest dream come true, but it’s hard to believe he wants me.
“Ryan?”
He squeezes my hand and my gaze flashes to his. There’s concern in his brown eyes as he studies me. I want to believe he loves me. In fact, Iknowhe does. I think I’ve always known he loves me, but it’s different knowing he’sin lovewith me.
I take a deep breath. “I’m just trying to get my head around it.”
“That I love you?”
I shake my head, the words of the letter flashing through my mind. “That you want a life together.”
He pulls back a little and tilts his head. “Why wouldn’t I want a life with you?”
“Fuck, Derek, you’re light years out of my league.”
He snorts. “Right back at you, Ryan. You’re young with the world at your feet. Why on earth would you want a boring financial planner who prefers mucking around in the garden on the weekends to checking out the latest bar?”
“You’re not boring.”
He squeezes my hands again. “And I love you for who you are, not for who or what you think you should be. I meant every word I wrote in that letter. It was straight from my heart. You’re an amazing guy, Ryan, and you’re the only one who seems to think you’re not good enough.”
I swallow hard, emotion welling in my chest. Could it really be that simple?
“I’m an idiot. I let my doubts get the better of me. You’re the only thing I’ve ever been sure of,” I say.
Derek exhales loudly. “Thank fuck for that.”
A laugh explodes from me at the unexpected words, then I grow serious again. “I’m sorry I’ve ruined your romantic Valentine’s with my decidedly non-romantic response. Not exactly the reaction you were expecting, huh?”
