“It’s perfect for her birthday,” I reply, catching up with the conversation.
“Can you believe our little girl is eight?” she says, then launches into a story about one of Lily’s earlier birthdays.
My eyes wander back to Ryan, who’s still chatting with Claudia. He meets my eyes and lifts a plastic cup in a silent toast and I raise my own in return. He grins, a smile that lights up his whole face.
Jayne sidles up beside me, her dark eyes following my line of sight. “You know, Derek, if you stare any harder at Ryan, your eyeballs might just pop out of your head.”
“Very funny,” I mutter, heat rising in my cheeks. “I’m not staring.”
“Uh-huh.” Jayne smirks, crossing her arms. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”
“I just invited him because he needs a friend,” I protest weakly, knowing full well she sees right through me. She’s always had a knack for seeing through my bullshit.
“Right, a ‘friend,’” Jayne teases, nudging me gently. Her gaze turns serious. “Derek, I’ve known you my entire life. It’s okay to admit you have feelings for him. You have had for a while, haven’t you? I’m not sure why I didn’t see it before now.”
“Okay, fine.” I sigh heavily. “I do have feelings for Ryan, but what am I supposed to do about it? He probably doesn’t even see me that way.” I ignore the fact we fooled around, that I had his cock in my mouth.
“Have you ever actually tried talking to him about it?” Jayne challenges, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course not,” I scoff. “I’m his older brother’s friend. What the hell would he see in me?”
Jayne shakes a finger at me. “If you’re going to tell me you’re old and boring…”
I flinch, hating how close to the mark she is. “I just don’t want to make things awkward.”Any more awkward than they already are.
“Life is full of risks, Derek,” Jayne says softly. I can hear the concern in her voice. “You’ll never know if you don’t take a chance. And from the way he’s been looking at you today, I’d say you’ve got a pretty good shot.”
Really?
I look back at Ryan, catching him stealing a glance in my direction. My heart races, and I wonder if Jayne might be right. Before I can reply, there’s a tug at my arm.
“Uncle Derek! We’re going to play games soon. Daddy said you’d help.”
I give her a wide grin. “Sounds like fun. I’ll be over soon.”
“Yay!” she says before darting back to her friends.
Jayne turns to me with a shrug. “I hope you don’t mind lending a hand.”
“Of course not. I love hanging out with Lily and her friends.”
“You know, Derek. You’d make a wonderful father.”
She squeezes my arm before leaving me to ponder her words, and the strange longing for a family of my own. Maybe she’s right and I need to take more chances with my life. What have I got to lose?
My attention turns back to Ryan and Claudia, and before I know it, I’ve crossed the yard. “Hey, I hope you’re not spilling too many secrets.” I say jokingly.
“Which one of us?” Ryan says. His eyes are laser-focused on mine.
My throat goes dry, because yes, we now have secrets.
“Hey, Derek.” Claudia, unaware of the tension, greets me warmly, planting a kiss on my cheek. “Yeah, we were just reminiscing about the good old days.”
“Ah, the memories,” I say, but the expression makes me feel old.
She laughs and tucks a long strand of wavy auburn hair behind her shoulder. She’s still as beautiful as she was in high school. “I was just telling Ryan how you, me, and Nathan used to sneak out at night and make a fire pit down at the creek. God, those were the days, not a care in the world.”
I chuckle. “Apart from the fear of being caught by our parents and grounded.”
