“Bye, Uncle Derek!” Lily says, giving me a quick hug before following her mother towards the door.
Once they’ve gone, I head to the sink for a cloth. I take a deep breath and start to clean up the remnants of Lily’s project, trying to ignore how quiet and still my home has become.
Chapter Seven
Ryan
Fluorescent lights buzz overhead, illuminating rows of tools and building supplies. Even under the harsh lighting, Derek is gorgeous. There are little crinkles at the corners of his eyes as he smiles, but they only add to his appeal—he’s confident and happy, and the lines tell of his maturity.
“So, what kind of timber are you thinking for the shelves?” Derek asks. He casually brushes my arm as he speaks, sending tingles up my spine.
I clear my throat, stepping away under the pretense of examining wood samples.Pine. Oak. Mahogany.I can’t think straight with his touch still burning my skin despite the long-sleeved T-shirt I’m wearing.
“Um, pine is fine. Cheap and durable, and you said you wanted to paint the shelves, right?”
“Yep. I’ve taken your advice. I think the lighter and brighter the room, the nicer it will be to work in. I get enough dark anddingy at the office. So, pine it is.” Derek grins and heads off towards the order desk.
I take a deep breath as my eyes track his movements. He’s behaving casually, like nothing happened between us. He’s just being Derek, my brother’s best friend, the guy who’s looked out for me like a big brother since I was a kid. Not the man I’ve been secretly pining over for years. The man who blew me the other afternoon in a moment of weakness.
Shit.What have I done?
I need to get my act together, to forget it ever happened. I have to bury my feelings deep and move on before I ruin one of the most important relationships in my life. I chuckle ruefully. Easier said than done.
“You coming?” Derek stops in the aisle and calls back to me.
I force a smile and jog a little to catch up.I can do this.
When I reach Derek, he halts my progress with a hand on my arm.
“Hey, Ryan.” Derek clears his throat, gaze skimming over the shelves before he meets my eyes. “About the other day…”
My stomach clenches. Here it comes, the “it was a mistake” speech.
“I shouldn’t have…taken advantage like that.” His jaw clenches. “I’m sorry. I hope I haven’t made things awkward between us.”
“You haven’t.” The lie tastes bitter on my tongue. “I’m a grown man. I can make my own decisions about who I sleep with.”
“Can you?” He frowns. “I don’t want to be another mistake you regret, Ryan.”
“You’re not.” I bite my lip, heat flooding my face. Shit, he couldneverbe something I regret, but there’s no way I can tell him how I really feel, no matter how much I want to. “I just meant, you know, it didn’t mean anything. We got carried away. It’s just sex, no big deal.”
The troubled look doesn’t leave his eyes. He studies me for a long moment, like he can see right through my pathetic excuses, before giving a curt nod. “If you say so.” He claps me on the shoulder, smile not quite reaching his eyes. “Come on, let’s go order this timber and get the rest of the stuff.”
We place an order for the pine to be delivered at the same time as the new doors, then grab a trolley, roaming the aisles, gathering supplies for the renovation. I toss in some washers so I can fix the leaking outdoor tap I noticed last time I was at Derek’s then turn down an aisle filled with paint samples. “Did you have a colour in mind for the home office?”
“I was thinking maybe a cream or taupe. Something neutral, you know?”
“According to colour theory, your choice can influence your productivity. Red is stimulating and yellow is known for encouraging creativity. You don’t want to try one of those?” To be honest, I can’t imagine Derek going down the path of yellow or red. He’s more sophisticated in his tastes as the rest of his home proves.
“What about a shade of blue? Something calming?” he says.
“Maybe a blue-grey?” I suggest, reaching for the colour cards.
His fingers graze mine as he reaches at the same time and I heat at the accidental contact. I snatch my hand back and nod, pulse racing as I study the samples. “This one’s pretty. It reminds me of the colour of the sky just before dusk.” Actually, it reminds me of the stormy look in his grey eyes, eyes that I could get lost staring into all day.
“Perfect.” He holds my gaze, and for a heartbeat, I’m sure I glimpse the same desire mirrored in his eyes. But then he looks away, the moment gone, and I’m left wondering if I imagined it.
I clear my throat and select a couple of cards, forcing my focus back onto the task at hand. “We’re best to take a few back homeand check them out in the light of the room to make sure we get exactly the right shade.”
