I sit up and swipe my eyes with the back of my hand before reaching for my phone. Maybe talking to someone else first will make telling Cam easier, but saying the words out loud, admitting my failure, makes it all so real. I straighten and scroll through my contacts, finding Madi’s name. My thumb hovers over the call button, hesitating. I take a shaky breath, steeling myself, and press Call. The phone rings once, twice. I pace the living room, waiting for her to answer.
“Pick up, Madi. Please pick up,” I mutter under my breath, needing her to answer before I chicken out and end the call.
Finally, she answers. “Hey, little bro! What’s up?”
The familiar sound of her voice, warm and cheerful, nearly undoes me. I open my mouth, but no words come out, just a strangled sound.
“Greg? What’s wrong?” Madi’s tone shifts instantly, and I can hear her concern.
“Madi, I…” I swallow hard, fighting past the lump in my throat. “I got some results today. From the fertility clinic. It’s not good.”
Silence stretches between us for a moment and when Madi speaks again, her voice is soft and gentle. “Oh, Greg. I’m so sorry.”
A single tear slips down my cheek, and I brush it away angrily. “The doctor, she said… low sperm count. Poor motility. That the chances of us conceiving naturally are…” I suck in a breath. “Ican’t be the one to give Cam the family we’re both so desperate for.”
“Greg, listen to me.” Madi’s voice is fierce, determined. “This isn’t the end, okay? Has Cam got his results yet? Anyway, no matter what his results are, you and Cam, you’ll figure this out together. There are other options. “
I nod, even though she can’t see me. “I know. I just…” I blow out a shaky breath. “Why does everything have to be so hard? I feel so useless. What if I can’t—”
“Don’t,” Madi cuts me off. “Don’t go down that road. You are more than your ability to create a child, Greg. So much more. And Cam loves you, no matter what. Like I’ve said before, you’ll both be amazing fathers, no matter how a child comes into your family.”
She sounds so sure, so positive, that it’s impossible not to take her words to heart. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mads.”
“Well, lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.” I can hear the smile in her voice, the unwavering support. “I’m here, little brother. Always. Now, tell me exactly what the doctor said.”
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself as I recount the details of the appointment. “She said my sperm count is low, and the motility—that’s the ability for the sperm to swim properly—is poor. That even with IVF, our chances would be…” I swallow hard. “Significantly reduced.”
Madi is quiet for a moment, no doubt absorbing the information. “Okay. But reduced chances aren’t zero chances, right? It sounds like there’s still hope.”
“I guess.” I run a hand through my hair. “I just… I feel like I’m letting Cam down. Like I’m trampling on his dreams of starting a family together.”
“Greg, no.” Madi’s voice is gentle but firm. “You could never let Cam down. Not by being honest with him, by facing thistogether. His dreams—your shared dreams—they’re not just about having a baby. They’re about building a life, in sickness and in health. Remember?”
God, that brings back memories of our wedding day, the love and conviction in Cam’s eyes as he’d spoken those vows. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just… I hate feeling like I’m the reason we might not…”
“Stop right there, mister.” Madi’s using her mom voice now, the one that brooks no argument. “You are not the reason for anything. This is not your fault. It’s just… life. And you and Cam, you’re going to face it together, like you always do. Lean on each other. Lean on me. We’ll get through this, Greg. I promise.”
“I don’t know what to say, Madi. Except… thank you. For always being there. For knowing just what to say to pull me out of my own head.”
“Of course.” I can hear the smile in her voice, the love. “Now, go talk to that husband of yours. Be honest. Let him be there for you. And call me anytime, okay? I mean it.”
“I will. I promise.” I take a deep, steadying breath. “I love you, Madi.”
“I love you too, little brother. So much.”
We say our goodbyes and I hang up, feeling lighter than I have since leaving the doctor’s office. I set the phone down on the kitchen counter and take a deep, fortifying breath. Madi’s words echo in my head—be honest, let Cam be there for me. I know she’s right. Keeping this from him is not fair to either of us. We’re a team, a partnership. We face things together.
I walk through the house to our bedroom. How do I tell him? What do I say? I remind myself that Cam loves me, unconditionally. He’s proven that time and again. This… this won’t change that.
In the bedroom, I change into my old, paint-splattered jeans, grab a torn sweatshirt and head back to the kitchen. I’m justtugging on my shirt when my phone rings. Cam’s smiling face fills the screen.
“Hey, babe,” I answer, hoping my voice doesn’t betray my earlier tears.
“Hey yourself,” Cam replies, and just the sound of his voice makes me smile. “I’m leaving work now. Thought I’d grab some takeout on the way home. Thai sound good?”
“Thai sounds perfect.” I smile despite myself. It’s my favorite food and it feels like he’s chosen it just to cheer me up.
“Great! I’ll be home in about twenty. And I hope you’re ready to paint, because I am itching to finally get some color on those walls!”
