I sigh again as they head over to take a seat by the window, laughing together. Their happiness only amplifies the emptiness gnawing at my chest. As I make their drinks, my mind wandersto the discussion with Greg last night—another discussion about the hoops we need to jump through to make surrogacy a reality. Why does everything have to be so difficult, especially at this time of year? I want to enjoy the season, not be weighed down by what-ifs and if-onlys. By the time I finish the drinks, my smile has completely slipped away.
The song playing switches to “White Christmas” and I have the sudden urge to throw the croissants I’m plating up across the room. I take a deep breath instead, trying to center myself. I’m being ridiculous, sulking over the very thing I’m usually so thrilled to celebrate—the holiday season, time with loved ones, the spirit of giving, but it all feels hollow this year.
The door chimes again and I paste on my fake smile, already dreading the effort of appearing cheerful. “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”
As I robotically make drink after drink, I know I need to pull it together, for my customer’s sake, if not my own. But faking merriment is a lot harder than usual when my heart’s just not in it this season.
Will emerges from the kitchen where he’s been prepping food, a concerned expression on his face. “Hey, Cam. Everything alright? You seem a bit off today.”
I straighten my shoulders and force a smile, trying to inject some cheer into my voice. “I’m fine, thanks. Just a little tired, that’s all.” The words sound unconvincing, even to my own ears.
Will raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, but he doesn’t push. “Alright, well, let me know if you need anything.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
As I turn back to the espresso machine, the door chimes once more, followed by an excited, “Dad!”
I glance over to see Maverick, Will’s eleven-year-old son, barreling towards the counter with Colton, Will’s husband, closebehind. “Hey, buddy! This is a nice surprise!” Will’s face lights up as he ruffles Mav’s hair.
Mav ducks his head. “Daaadddd.”
Colton grins, leaning over to peck Will on the cheek. “We thought we’d surprise you at work today. Mav has something to show you.”
I watch as Mav proudly displays a laminated piece of paper. It’s clearly some sort of award, and from the looks of things, Will and Colton couldn’t be prouder.
Will grins from ear to ear. “This is amazing. I knew you could do it.”
As I watch them, the way they interact with easy affection, and the way Mav grins as he looks adoringly at his fathers, a lump forms in my throat. I quickly busy myself with wiping down the counter, trying to ignore the ache in my chest.
It’s not that I’m not happy for Will and Colton—they’re wonderful parents, and Maverick is a great kid. But seeing their little family, so full of love and laughter, is a stark reminder of everything Greg and I are struggling to have. I shake my head, trying to dislodge the melancholy thoughts, determined not to let myself wallow.
I take a deep breath, plastering on my best approximation of a genuine smile, and head out to clear some tables. As I move through the motions of my shift, I catch myself lost in thought and quickly shake myself out of it.
Will catches my eye from across the counter, his brow furrowed in concern. I know he can sense that something’s off, but I can’t bring myself to burden him with my problems. Not when he’s just enjoyed such a lovely moment with his own family. I offer him a weak smile and a shrug, hoping he’ll let it go.
Thankfully, the piercing wail of a siren jolts us all. I turn to the window just in time to see a firetruck barreling down the street, its lights flashing and siren blaring. For a moment, I’mfrozen, my heart pounding in my chest as I watch the truck speed by. It’s a stark reminder of how fragile life can be, how quickly everything can change.
“What do you think’s going on?” Josh asks, appearing at my side with a look of concern on his face.
I shrug, my brow furrowed. “No idea. I just hope everyone’s okay.”
We stand there for a moment, watching as the last traces of the firetruck’s flashing lights fade into the distance. The street seems eerily quiet in its wake, the usual bustle of shoppers replaced by a tense, expectant silence.
“You know,” Josh says, a mischievous glint in his eye, “I wouldn’t mind if that emergency was a little closer to home.”
I raise an eyebrow, not sure I like where this is going. “And why’s that?”
“Because then we might get a visit from a certain sexy firefighter.” He grins, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I mean, have you seen Hayes in his uniform? Talk about hot.”
I chuckle, shaking my head at Josh’s comments. “You’re terrible, you know that?”
“What? Just because he’s so much older than me? A guy can dream, can’t he?” Josh shrugs, looking entirely unapologetic.
“Well, dream on your own time.” I chuckle, giving him a playful shove. “We’ve got customers to serve and dishes to be washed.”
As we head back to the counter, I steal one last glance out the window, full of curiosity and concern. And suddenly, I know what I have to do.
I duck to the back room, pull out my phone and dial Greg’s number, my hands shaking slightly as I press the phone to my ear. He picks up on the second ring.
