He reaches out and gives my hand a quick squeeze. “But?”
I release his hand, twisting on the sun lounge until my feet hit the floorboards. I reach for my water bottle, gulping back the cool liquid, before meeting his gaze. “I’ve been struggling with anxiety. Panic attacks. It all started after an incident with some fans. You might have read about it in the news? Where I broke my ankle?”
Kyle sits up to face me and shakes his head. I huff a small laugh. He most definitely doesn’t follow me on social media.
As I recount that fateful night six months ago, the memories flood back. The mob of fans, the pushing and shoving, with the crowd closing in. Being propelled off the footpath towards the road. Falling down the gutter and the searing pain as my ankle twisted and snapped. And then, the overwhelming panic that engulfed me as I lay there, helpless, surrounded by a sea of strangers looming over me.
“I’ve never felt so vulnerable, so out of control,” I admit. My voice trembles so I take a deep breath before continuing. “Since then, whenever I’m faced with a large crowd trying to get to me, panic attacks have been a constant battle. I’ve been trying to manage them with therapy, but it’s not always easy.”
Kyle listens, his hand finding mine again, his thumb tracing soothing circles on my skin. When I finish, he speaks, his words soft. “I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be for you. But I want you to know I think you’re incredibly brave for facing your fears head-on and seeking help. It takes a lot of strength to do that. And the fact that you’re still out there performing and sharing your music despite the emotional toll it takes on you? That’s truly inspiring.”
The passion in his words has me believing him, has me believing that one day I’ll be able to put it behind me and focus on the joys of performing, not worrying about having a meltdown.
I study his face, the empathy in his beautiful brown eyes, and my heart melts. I’m drawn to his warmth, and the way he sees beyond the surface of who I am. Everything fades into the distance, all but his gentle smile. I lean in closer, my heart pounding as I close the distance between us. Kyle’s eyes flutter shut, and our lips meet in a tender kiss, as I try to convey just how special he is.
As the kiss deepens, I caress his cheek, his skin warm beneath my fingertips. I want more so get to my feet without breaking our connection. He falls back onto his recliner and I follow. His arms come around me, pulling me closer, and I savour the feeling of his body pressed close against mine. When we finally break apart, breathless and flushed, I rest my forehead against Kyle’s, our noses brushing together in a gentle nuzzle. “That was…” I whisper, my voice trailing off as I meet his gaze.
“Incredible,” Kyle finishes for me, a soft smile playing on his kiss-swollen lips.
“It was, wasn’t it?” I can’t keep the smile from my face. “And I don’t want it to end.”
“Maybe it doesn’t have to,” Kyle murmurs, his fingers threading through my hair as he pulls me in for another kiss, this one slower, more sensual, a promise of things to come.
Chapter Twelve
Kyle
Thepulsingbeatofthe music reverberates through my body as I stand on the crowded pool deck, a drink in my hand. Beside me, Kate and Lindy are swaying to the rhythm, large grins on their faces. The whole area is alive with energy—rainbow lights flashing, and bodies moving as one, including people dancing in the pool itself. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced back home on the farm, not even at the couple of paddock parties I’ve attended.
My eyes are drawn to the stage where Axel is performing. He’s a force of nature up there, stalking the platform like he owns it, dark hair flying as he pours his heart into the song. His deep voice rises above the music and I’m transfixed, hanging on his every word. There’s something so raw and powerful about the way he performs, channelling all the emotion and passion inside him into music.
“Isn’t he incredible?” Kate leans in and shouts over the noise. All I can do is nod, unable to tear my gaze away.
Axel hits a big note, face tipped back and arms outstretched, and the crowd goes wild. His stage presence is mesmerising. With every lyric, he has the audience under his spell. He’s a born rock star. As I watch him, I’m in awe of his sheer talent, the way he gives the performance his all. His passion for the music shines through and it’s impossible not to get swept up in it. I’m seeing a whole different side of Axel, doing what he was born to do.
My heart races as his eyes seem to find mine through the crowd, just for a second. It could be a trick of the light, but a thrill runs through me and I breathe in sharply. The magnetic pull between us, it’s undeniable. Last night’s kiss plays on a loop in my mind, the way his lips felt against mine, the warmth of his touch. It’s awakened something and I can’t wait to be alone with him again, to see where this goes. As his set comes to an explosive finish, I’m still reeling from the energy of his performance. My heart hammers in my chest, both from the exhilaration of the show and the anticipation of what the night ahead holds for us.
But beneath the excitement, nervousness flutters in my stomach. I’ve never been with someone who makes me feel this way. My experience is limited to fumbling encounters that left me feeling more disappointed than satisfied. I know it’s because I need that emotional connection, that sense of trust and affection. With Axel, I have no doubt those things are there, but I worry my inexperience will be a letdown for him.
Kate leans in close, her voice barely audible over the cheering crowd. “Earth to Kyle! Where’d you go just now?”
I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts, aware I’m standing still as a statue. “Sorry, I was just… thinking.”
She smirks. “Uh-huh, given where your eyes were focused, I bet you were ‘thinking’ about a certain rock star. God, he’s gorgeous, so I don’t blame you. C’mon, let’s dance! The night is young!”
I hesitate, glancing at the stage where Axel is taking his final bow. “Actually, I think I’m going to…”
“Going to what? Oh no you don’t!” Kate grabs my arm, trying to keep me there.
I gently extract myself from her grip, and shrug my apology. “I’m sorry, I just need to…” I trail off, already backing away.
Kate and Lindy exchange a look before Lindy waves me off. “Don’t think we’re going to let you spend too much time alone in your cabin, but you can have a leave pass for now.”
I feel guilty that they think I’m going back to my cabin, but I don’t give them much more thought. Nerves and anticipation intertwine as I slip through the crowd and make my way to the edge of the performance area, but when my gaze lands on Axel everything else fades away. He’s glistening with a sheen of sweat, his hair a wild mane that’s so sexy. Our eyes meet and all the air leaves my lungs when he smiles. He gives someone a nod and I’m let through. My feet carry me forward, and he meets me halfway, the smile spreading across his face.
Before I can say anything, a man in a dark suit approaches. I notice it’s Brian, the same guy I saw with Axel on the first day of the cruise and who trailed us around yesterday. Axel introduced us, but we’ve hardly exchanged a word. He’s frowning as he looks around, then addresses Axel in a deep voice. “We should head back to the suite now. The next act isn’t on stage for a few minutes, and we don’t want the crowd to get restless.”
The bodyguard’s presence is a stark reminder of Axel’s fame and the need for security. It’s a world I’m not used to, but I’m beginning to understand the challenges that come with being in the public eye.
