Feeling pushed into a corner, I move towards the centre of the room. As the event progresses, I overhear snippets of conversation that make me queasy. “I can’t believe he did that.” “Such a shame, really.” “I wonder if it’s true.”
My hands start to shake, so I put down my empty glass and try to steady myself. The whispers are about me and Rick and the incident that landed me in the tabloids. It’s not so much the drug charge that has made the headlines, it’s the fact I was a spokesperson warning of the dangers of drugs—I’m now a hypocrite. My tarnished reputation follows me wherever I go, a dark cloud that only serves to amp up my anxiety. It pisses me off that I was just getting a handle on things when shit hit the fan again.
“Hey, Axel?” Brian appears at my side, his voice low. “Is everything okay? You look a little pale.”
“Um, yeah,” I say, my voice barely audible. “Just can’t wait for this to be over.” I force a tight smile to reassure him that I’m fine.
“I’ll be over by the bar keeping an eye on things,” he says. “I think things are dying down now anyway.”
I nod in gratitude. It’s true, the crowd around me is beginning to thin out as people spread through the room drinking, and laughing, and dancing to the music being piped through the speakers.
I’m handed another drink and force a smile. That’s when a fan approaches with a lopsided grin.
“Hey, Zelman,” he says, his voice wavering just slightly. “I was just wondering…is it true what they said about you in the press?”
“The press?” I ask, hoping he’s talking about something other than the latest headline. Maybe the reviews on my last concert?
“Yeah, about being busted. And that you were dropped as a spokesperson for that support group?”
I know he’s pissed but my cheeks burn. I aim for casual. “I wouldn’t believe everything you read.”
“No?” He raises a brow and taps the side of his nose. “Well, just in case there’s any truth to the story and you’re looking for a little fun, you know where to find me.”
My throat tightens. “Yeah, that won’t be happening.”
“Your loss, man.”
As soon as the guy moves on, I make my escape, slipping through the crowd and into an alcove hidden behind some potted palms. My hands shake as I put down my drink and pull out my phone to text Nigel.
Axel:
You owe me big time for making me do thisangry faceemoji
Nigel:
It's only day 2
Axel:
Exactly
Nigel:
Stay strong. Remember why you’re there
Axel:
Yeah, yeah. Repair my image, support a good cause
Nigel:
It IS a good cause
I feel like a dick for thinking about myself and not the money being raised for charity. His words help to ground me, reminding me of the bigger picture beyond my own personal struggles. It also helps not to feel so alone.
Axel:
You’re right. Better get back out there
