Friends.Parker and Bo were his friends. With Harvey he wanted so much more. The way he felt about Harvey was the reason he knew he had to come out to his family, because if he didn’t, he’d never be able to have a relationship. Living with his parents’ disappointment would be worth it, because he’d have someone special in his life, he’d have love.
They sat there for a while, Harvey’s gentle stroking the only movement. Rav’s thoughts calmed as his breathing slowed to deep breaths inhaling that familiar scent. He could hear Harvey’s heartbeat from where his head pressed against his chest, and feel his chest expand with each inhalation. This was what he wanted—to be held by someone who cared about him. He sighed in contentment.
“Rav?” Harvey stopped stroking and pulled away slightly.
Ravi sat up and looked at Harvey, their faces only inches apart. “Yeah?”
“Feeling better?”
“I—” The only thing that would feel better would be to feel Harvey’s lips on his. Before he lost his nerve, he brought his mouth to Harvey’s. It wasn’t a simple peck on the cheek or the quick kiss of a friend. There was no mistaking Rav’s intentions, but Harvey’s mouth stayed closed, his body unmoving, that is, until he pulled away.
“What are you doing, Rav?”
Rav flushed.What am I doing? Jesus Christ.He jumped to his feet. “I’m sorry.”
Harvey stood too. “It’s okay. I was just surprised.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I—”
“I said it’s okay, Ravi. You’ve had an emotional day. You were looking for comfort.”
Ravi wrung his hands together. He felt like an idiot as he blurted the truth. “It’s not just today. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time. I thought maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe if I kissed you you might want to kiss me back,” he whispered.
Harvey’s smile was gentle, but Rav could sense the reply before he even got the words out. “You’re a great guy, Rav, and gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to have you, but there are a million reasons why we’d never work. We’re totally different people and we’re in different places you and me. You’ve just finished school with so much in front of you—university, making new friends. I’m moving to Sydney—”
“You’re what?” Rav’s stomach dropped.
Harvey ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He paced across the room before turning back. “I was going to tell you, but I haven’t even told Parker yet. There’s a band over there that needs a guitarist. They’re doing some great things and it’s an opportunity that’s too good to pass up.”
“Oh.” It was all Ravi could say. The words just weren’t there, his thoughts a jumble.Harvey is leaving me?
“You’ll be okay, Rav. Maybe you can come to Sydney to visit. In the meantime, you’ll focus on getting your degree, making new friends, maybe finding a boyfriend, finding someone who wants the same things you do.”
I don’t want another boyfriend, I want you.
He plastered on a smile. “Sure. You’re right.”
“And you’ve got Parker and Bo. Plus, I’ll be home for visits, and we’ll keep in contact.”
“Yeah.” The thought of following Harvey on social media and seeing all the amazing things he’d be up to weighed heavily. Instead of being able to forget the crush on his friend’s older brother that he’d had for years, he’d have to suck it up and pretend it didn’t hurt.God I’m an idiot.He gave himself a mental slap.
He’d revealed two secrets today; first the one to his parents, then admitting his crush on Harvey, and neither had the outcome he’d hoped for.
All in all, today sucked.
Chapter Eighteen
Theweeksleadingupto the US trip were frantic. There was no time to fly west and visit Rav’s parents. Harvey was focused on rehearsals and the hundred and one other things that were involved in an overseas tour. Bo had been taking every shift the hospital offered to him including overtime, in an effort to earn as much as he could before taking the few weeks off. Rav was doing the same thing, bringing work home so he could leave his project in good hands while he was away. But the upside of all the hard work was the limited desire to go out, allowing them to get lost in their own special world. They ate in, cooking meals together or ordering home delivery. They watched movies and played boardgames. They browsed the internet for real estate, looking for a new larger place with more space and a home office for Rav. Bo encouraged Harvey and Rav to head up to the mountains to hike or head to the beach on the weekends while he was working, and he loved to see them relaxed after days spent in the outdoors. But the peaceful bubble they’d built around themselves burst the moment they set foot on US soil.
Nigel arranged for them to be collected from LAX and taken to the hotel where they’d stay for a week or so. They’d have time to get over their jetlag before HyperOctane performed at some sort of celebrity party. Bo stared out the window as the car crawled through LA traffic, fascinated by the place and the people he’d heard so much about but had yet to see in person. His chest fluttered with nervous excitement tempered by a touch of jetlag from the fifteen-hour flight.
Finally, the car slowed to turn into the entrance of the hotel. They followed behind the car containing Rafe and Parker, and the other with Gibbo and RG, eventually pulling up under a huge portico where a bunch of people lingered. For a brief moment Bo thought they were other guests but then he noticed the cameras.
“Holy shit.”
