Sean smiledas he hit the reply button.
4
Tuesday night,Sean stood next to Jason as they started at the list of movies showing. Usually when Sean went to the theatre, it was with Joanna, and they argued over who would get to choose the movie. Joanna would always go for the typical chick flick or, in complete contrast, the latest action blockbuster—the more violence, the better. At a push she would see a comedy, but he could never convince her to see a horror film or anything with subtitles. He was surprised and delighted when Jason tentatively suggested a horror movie that was getting rave reviews.
Jason sounded nervous when he’d proposed it. “If you don’t want to see it, Sean, that’s fine. A lot of my friends can’t understand what it is I like about these movies. So if you want to watch something else, that’s cool. I know they’re not for everyone.”
“No,” Sean said. “I’d love to see it, honestly. I’ve wanted to see it for a while, but I usually come to the movies with Jo, and she refuses to watch horror. So I consider this a win.”
“Really?” Jason raised his eyebrow.
“Sure. I’ve always liked horror films. I particularly love the old classics though, you know? It started with a fascination for Freddy Krueger and went from there. My parents never understood why I wanted to watch them, because I always had to go to sleep with the lights on for days afterwards.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you tonight and save you from the boogeyman.” Jason winked as he stepped up to the ticket booth to buy their tickets.
True to his word, Jason was a calming anchor throughout the showing. As they sat in the dim light with only the flickering from the screen, Sean was very aware of the strong presence next to him. He could feel Jason’s warmth where their arms rested alongside each other on the armrest between them. They each had a tub of popcorn, which they ate by the handful, and Sean was grateful for the huge drink that quenched the thirst triggered by the saltiness.
Sean tried his best to focus on the movie, and after some time he was able to concentrate on the film instead of Jason. He became engrossed as the dark and frightening plot progressed, so much so that in a really tense moment, he jumped along with most of the movie theatregoers. As his heart beat a rapid pulse, Jason took his hand, leaning across to whisper, “I told you I’d protect you from the monsters.”
Jason didn’t release Sean’s hand, and as he tried to calm his racing heart, Sean knew he’d never be able to refocus on the movie. So instead, he sat and enjoyed the feel of his hand encompassed in the safety of Jason’s much larger one. It was the best movie he’d ever seen.
As with the first time they’d gone out together, they ended the night by walking through the park. It was cold, and he shivered slightly in his thin shirt, but he didn’t mind and would have put up with a lot worse to extend his time with Jason. The warmth in his heart more than made up for the chill in the air. Once again, they strolled to what Sean now thought of as “their” bench and sat side by side in companionable silence. The only light was a glow cast from a streetlight further along the path.
Jason reached across and took his hand, reminiscent of how he’d held Sean’s hand while they watched the movie. His hand was wonderfully warm, and when he started tracing little circles with his thumb, the sensation was exquisite. It had been so long since Sean had experienced someone’s touch that he found his barriers falling as his skin tingled. It was like a dam breaking, with so many emotions bursting forth from one small touch. His breath hitched as, all of a sudden, he felt desire and need and wanted more. He wanted all the things he’d told himself he no longer needed, all the things he’d spent the last two years avoiding.
Sean turned, heart pounding, and locked eyes with Jason, but the stare was short-lived as they came together in a crashing of mouths. There was nothing gentle about their kiss, hard and passionate, tongues seeking entry to hot mouths, salty from the popcorn, and oh, so good. Sean couldn’t tell who was kissing whom, both of them aggressive with their actions, taking and giving in equal measure. Jason let go of his hand and raised his arms to surround Sean, dragging him closer. They were twisted together, joined at the lips, and Sean wanted more. As his tongue plundered the recesses of Jason’s mouth, he thought he’d never tasted anything so sweet and couldn’t get enough. Sweet and salty combined for a kiss made in heaven.
He slid his arms around Jason’s waist in an effort to get closer. He pressed hard against him, twisted awkwardly but uncaring as he tried to maximise body contact. Jason groaned, and Sean shuddered as lust coursed through his veins. He was aware of the warmth of Jason’s hands moving to cup his face as Jason pulled away and rested his forehead against Sean’s.
“I want you so bad,” Jason whispered.
It took Sean a few moments to catch his breath. His heart was pounding in double time. Part was due to the physical reaction and response that Jason was able to draw from him, and part was due to the sudden fear that maybe things were moving too fast. Doubts suddenly appeared, washing away his passion as the cold fear of exposure took its place. He knew his face reflected his fear, and he saw concern mirrored back from Jason.
“Sean? Did I… do something wrong?”
“No. I’m fine.” Sean faced the fountain and straightened his shirt.
Jason was obviously only too aware that something had upset him and reached over to take his hand again, but Sean stood and made a show of tucking his shirttails properly into his jeans. Total avoidance, but he could help his actions, driven by his confusing and conflicted emotions.
“No, really, it’s okay, Jason. I just… wasn’t expecting that, that’s all.”
It was the truth. Sean knew Jason thought he meant the kiss, but it was his own desire that had surprised the hell out of him. What was it about Jason that had him second-guessing himself and the safe world he’d built up over the years?
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t… I thought you were into me too. I guess I thought….” Jason trailed off and lowered his gaze.
Sean took his hand, and Jason met his eyes. “You thought right. I kissed you just as much as you kissed me. In fact, I’ve wanted to kiss you all night. I think I just need to take things a bit slower.” He paused and looked hopefully at Jason, willing him to be understanding. “Are you all right with that?”
“Yeah. I’m more than okay.” Jason’s easy smile and the gentle squeeze of his hand reinforced his words. “We can go at any pace you like.”
They slipped back into the comfortable companionship of the early evening and started wandering in the direction of the parking garage, this time walking close together—close enough that their arms gently touched.
5
The stupid merger-cum-Valentinefunction was all anyone could talk about. Sean was amazed that they weren’t more concerned about theactualmerger and what it meant for the company, but it seemed the majority of people were more interested in the details of the party and what they were going to wear. In an effort to make it easier for all the staff, costumes were optional, but dressing up in ridiculous clothing actually seemed a popular idea, particularly with the younger employees.
As Sean listened to his team laugh and joke as they tossed around ideas—devil horns, pink bow ties, fairy wings—he poked around in his salad, spearing tomatoes, and thought how much he hated Valentine’s Day.Its grand gestures of romance and love are so overrated.He stabbed a round of cucumber and put it in his mouth, crunching but tasting nothing.Valentine’s is commercial crap, a way for retailers to make a fortune from overpriced bouquets and chocolates. Romance should be spontaneous, magical, personal, and not relegated to one day of the year.
At one time, Sean thought he might have found the guy who understood, someone who shared his desire for love, someone who valued him and his needs. But he was wrong. And that particular Valentine’s Day had proved it once and for all.ThatValentine’s Day proved to Sean that he had given his heart to someone who hadn’t known him, hadn’t respected him, and definitely didn’t treasure him.
