He couldn’t help grinning back. “Thanks. That sounds great.” And itdidsound like a brilliant idea. The only part of the offer that rankled was Sean’s use of his full name. Only Sean always called him Jason, not Jace like everyone else. Did it reflect the fact that Sean didn’t know him very well?Only one way to solve that.He took a deep breath. “Actually, Sean, I thought maybe we could meet after work, grab a beer or some dinner. You know, get out of this place for a bit.” He was tempted to add something about being more inspired outside of the office environment—fresh location, fresh ideas, that type of thing—something to make Sean more comfortable, more likely to say yes. But he held his tongue, deciding to leave his suggestion as it was. He didn’t want to push too hard, and in reality, he wanted Sean to read more into it than pure work.
Sean avoided Jason’s eyes, instead giving all his attention to his mug of coffee, stirring in a heaped spoon of sugar. Around, around, around, Jason followed the spoon, thinking Sean was never going to stop stirring. Suddenly Sean pulled the spoon out of the liquid and tapped it briskly, three times, on the side of the mug.
To Jason’s surprise and happiness, Sean then looked at him and said, “Sure. When do you want to get together?”
2
They’d arrangedto meet on Thursday night, and the couple of days had allowed the nerves to set in. Sean’s stomach was tight with anticipation. He gave himself a mental shake.Don’t be an arse, it’s nothing to get hung up about.Thank God he had a bit of time to settle himself. Instead of heading out directly from work, they agreed to meet at the restaurant instead. That gave Sean time to go home, shower and change, and get his head in the right space. He unlocked the door of his small house, immediately relaxing as he entered his safe haven. Pancake greeted him with a loud meow before winding herself around his legs. He resisted the urge to pick the cute fluff-ball up. Instead, he dumped his stuff on the hall table and headed straight for the laundry, where he refilled her water, then poured cat food into her bowl.
“There you go, little miss. Enjoy.”
Pancake ignored him, too focused on getting to her dinner. “You’re welcome,” he muttered as she skirted his ankles and dived face-first into her bowl.
Leaving her to enjoy the kibble, Sean headed to his bedroom. He only had about forty minutes before he needed to leave if he was to make it to the restaurant on time, and Sean was nothing if not punctual.
He toed off his shoes, then took off his suit jacket and tossed it on the bed before removing his navy trousers and taking the time to fold them correctly. After threading them through the rung on the coat hanger, he picked up the jacket and hung it over the top. His wardrobe wasn’t large, so he had to make do with hanging his suits on the one hanger but taking the time to arrange the creases ensured a wrinkle-free suit the next time he wore it. His appearance was important, the reason he hadn’t picked up Pancake on the way in. Cat fur on his dark suits was enough of a problem without deliberately adding to it.
Next came the tie, a delicate blue-and-silver stripe that he hung neatly on the tie rack with the others, and finally the shirt. It had been crisp and white. Now it bore the signs of a long day in the office and was therefore thrown directly into the hamper along with his socks and briefs. As he turned to head towards the bathroom, Sean ignored his reflection in the mirrored door of the closet. At one time he’d contemplated having them changed to solid painted doors—anything to avoid looking at himself—but now he was so attuned to ignoring his reflection that he didn’t even spare a glance.
The water was hot, and Sean soaped up quickly, enjoying the massage from the spray on his shoulders as he washed the day away in a brisk and efficient manner. Showering was something he usually did quickly and didn’t linger over. As he rinsed his hair, he thought of Jason and his casual confidence. The man oozed self-assurance from every pore. It was evident in his stance and his devil-may-care attitude. He had a great body, and he knew it. At over six feet tall, and with his bulk of muscle, he wasn’t a small man. Jason had the body of an athlete, strong and purposeful, his muscled legs straining his suit trousers and defined biceps bulking out his shirt sleeves. Sean often wondered how Jason kept in shape. With all the hours they both spent at the office, how did he keep in such peak physical condition?Maybe he doesn’t sleep?Sean chuckled at the ridiculous thought, but his mirth was short-lived. There was once a time when he’d revelled in fitness too, but not anymore. He knew he made excuses for himself—too busy at the office, too much to do around the house, helping his neighbours out… definitely no time to pursue more active pursuits, no time for swim— He shook his head, droplets flying.Not going there.
He turned off the running water and quickly stepped from the shower, towelling off before running a comb through his damp hair and finally taking a good look at his own reflection. He leaned on his palms on the bathroom vanity, bringing his face close to the mirror. He couldn’t help but note the contrast between him and Jason. They both wore their hair a little on the long side for the traditional corporate standards—maybe a bit of nonconformity on both their parts? But where Sean’s hair was an ordinary brown, Jason’s was a shimmering blond. It had darkened a little since he’d joined the company, but no doubt would lighten again when the warmer weather arrived. Jason’s streaks were the natural blond tips that resulted from a lot of time spent outdoors in the sun. He wondered how Jason’s fair complexion coped with the sunshine, but due to the lack of freckles, he assumed it held up pretty well. He imagined the two of them together—Jason’s larger and fairer body contrasting with his smaller olive-skinned frame. Even thinking of Jason naked next to him got Sean’s blood racing, but he caught himself before his thoughts could go much further. He had no business imagining himself naked with any man.
But allowing his imagination to put Jason in the role of lover got him wondering if he was making assumptions and reading into the situation. He swallowed heavily, suddenly unsure if he’d interpreted the invitation to dinner correctly. Did Jason only want to meet to talk about possible new campaigns, or did he want to get to know Sean outside of work? Sean felt pretty sure it was the latter, given they could have easily met during working hours or Jason could have just joined the team meeting like Sean suggested.
He groaned. To make things worse, he wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be—two work colleagues getting together, or the first steps to a friendship. Or something even more. Recently he’d noticed Jason paying him more attention than usual—little glances his way, a bit too often to be perfectly innocent. The glances caused Sean’s stomach to flutter and put him off his game. On a few occasions, he’d had to make a conscious effort to focus and not be distracted by those dove-grey eyes with their thick lashes.
When Jason had joined the company a year ago, he hadn’t hidden the fact that he was gay. Not that he’d flaunted it either. In fact, Sean couldn’t remember any type of direct statement, but somehow they all just knew and it was accepted. That didn’t make it any easier for Sean, though. He wasn’t necessarily hiding his sexuality, but he most definitely wasn’t working the “proud” side of “out and proud.” If anybody asked, he’d be honest, but in reality he didn’t think anybody cared about his love life, and he liked it that way. Joanna was the only person who had any interest in what he did. But she worried about him, and like any good friend, she wanted him to be happy and was forever encouraging him to get out more. Her current focus was trying to get him to agree to attend the Valentine’s-themed work function.Not a chance in hell!
Once upon a time, he’d been a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, often the life of the party and most definitely a lot more fun than he was now. Joanna had known both Seans and loved both equally, but she wanted him to bring back a bit more of the old Sean. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried—he had—but he didn’t think it was possible to go back to the way things were. But maybe Joanna’s hounding was finally paying off, because he suddenly found himself wanting to get to know Jason, to live life a little more dangerously, and he had to acknowledge that part of himwantedthis to be a date. He just wasn’t sure he could go through with it if that’s what Jason wanted too.
He groaned again.Why does this have to be so difficult?He dragged his gaze from his face in the mirror, sprayed on some deodorant, and left the bathroom, changing into jeans and T-shirt once he’d reached his bedroom. He refused to consider his outfit and grabbed the first T-shirt from the pile.It’s not like I’m preparing for a date.
Despite his chaotic thoughts, Sean arrived at the restaurant on time. He took a deep breath to centre himself before opening the door. As he stepped through the doorway, he spotted Jason waving from a booth towards the back.
The restaurant was casual bistro-style: a long, relatively narrow room with exposed brick walls and a polished concrete floor. Sean weaved his way through the wooden tables that occupied the centre of the restaurant, passing the open-plan kitchen that ran along the left wall, until he reached the brown leather booth. It was exactly the sort of place he would have chosen. Slightly upmarket but casual enough to have a relaxed atmosphere, and the music—an understated, cool jazz—at a level where conversation was actually possible. Sean couldn’t stand spending hours in bars where he couldn’t follow a conversation between a group of people and had to shout to be heard. He chuckled to himself as he slid into the booth opposite Jason.
“What are you smiling about?” Jason asked, a smile brightening his own face as he posed the question.
“Just thinking how old I feel. I was glad we weren’t in a loud bar but somewhere where we can actually talk. You know—a real conversation without losing our voices by the end of the night.”
Jason’s chuckle reflected his. “I know exactly what you mean. I think my days of endless bar-hopping are long over too. I much prefer to look someone in the eye when talking to them instead of yelling in their ear.”
The exchange relaxed Sean slightly, and he leaned against the chair back and took another look at his surroundings. He hadn’t been to this particular restaurant before and was excited for the experience and tried to tell himself the tingling sense of anticipation had nothing to do with the man sitting opposite him. “Do you come here often?” he said.
Jason raised a brow.
“Shit. I can’t believe I just asked that!” Sean felt his face heat at the idea of using the cheesy pickup line. “I meant have you been here before.”
Jason laughed. “Yeah. I came here once when it first opened, and I’ve been dying to come back ever since. Have you eaten here?”
“No, but I’ve read some great reviews. I’m looking forward to checking out their menu. I heard the fish is great.” He reached for the glass of water on the table and took a long sip, trying to settle his nerves.
Thank God the waitress interrupted them by bringing menus and stopping to recite the specials. After a couple of minutes’ deliberation and weighing up the merits of each dish, Jason chose the beef, and Sean selected the fish he had heard so much about. They opted for beer, both of them not exactly wine connoisseurs and probably not following the food-pairing rules, but Jason didn’t seem to care.
“Cheers.” His smile was broad as he clinked glasses.
Sean drew deeply on the ale as his nerves reappeared. He hated this part of getting to know someone new, which was why he usually stuck to a rule of not socialising outside of the office. He detested talking about himself and solved that by directing a few questions to Jason. Jason was such a natural, outgoing person; in no time at all, he was regaling Sean with stories of his holiday on the south coast.
