Once the plates were empty, they took them into the kitchen but left them next to the sink to wash later. Jason made coffee, and they moved back to the living area with their mugs and settled on the couch. Jason opened the cardboard box that had been sitting on the coffee table, revealing a selection of sweet treats from a local bakery. Sean’s mouth watered at the sight of the chocolate brownie. Jason nudged the box his way, and Sean couldn’t resist, taking the brownie and raising it to his lips.
“Oh, man. So good.” He loved the slight bitterness of the chocolate and its rich sweetness. He took another bite and couldn’t help the moan of pleasure.
“Good to know you’re easily pleased,” Jason teased as he chose a strawberry tart. “I’m starting to believe the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
Sean watched him bring the fruit-laden tart to his mouth, enthralled as Jason’s tongue swiped across the sticky jam surface. Jason’s own groan of approval took Sean’s thoughts well away from food, and by the gleam in his eyes, it was obvious Jason knew where his thoughts were going. Jason waggled his brows which brought a chuckle to the surface. Surprisingly, because he thought he’d be more nervous, Sean relaxed.
They sat in companionable silence, finishing their treats and sipping on the coffee. Soft music was playing in the background, and Sean felt totally at home. The apartment was so welcoming, and Jason was the perfect relaxed host—no pressure—but Sean was more than aware of the man sitting next to him. He placed his coffee mug on the table and turned to face him. Jason did the same with his mug and then reached towards Sean. Sean held his breath as Jason’s forefinger neared his mouth, gently moving against his lip.
“Chocolate,” Jason whispered. “You’ve got a bit of chocolate.”
As he pulled his finger back and used the tip of his tongue to swipe at the frosting on its tip, Sean was unable to look away, completely mesmerised by his actions. Those bright blue eyes continued to stare at his mouth, like he was seeking more chocolate or maybe something else. He gradually moved towards Sean, and Sean felt an invisible cord drawing him forward. Their coming together was inevitable, and they finally met, mouth against mouth. This kiss was nothing like their first kiss or those they’d shared since. This kiss was soft and gentle, a barely-there brush like butterfly wings against his lips. It was controlled yet uncontrolled because Sean wouldn’t have been able to stop it even if he tried.
He felt Jason’s breath, a gentle sigh against his skin, before the pressure increased. Jason’s lips moved over his, and his tongue gently demanded access, which Sean was only too happy to give. Jason tasted like cake and coffee but mainly sweet, and Sean couldn’t get enough of his flavour. He moaned into the warmth of Jason’s mouth before drawing back for breath.
Jason brought his hands up to cradle Sean’s face, bringing their mouths together again. His grip tightened, and Sean wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders. Sean wanted to get closer, but their sideways position on the couch didn’t make it easy. He leaned towards Jason, pushing him back as he tried to get nearer. Jason’s hands moved to hold him, and they fell back together against the arm of the couch, lips hardly coming apart. Sean found himself pressed to Jason’s strong body, lying chest to chest and breathing heavily.Oh God,oh my God!
It had been so long since he had felt another man underneath him, and hewanted—he wanted to devour the man lying under him, to kiss him into oblivion. He suddenly couldn’t get close enough. He wanted Jason to hold him, to touch him, to be with him.
They rocked together, Jason widening his legs to allow Sean to fall naturally into the gap, bringing their groins together. There was no hiding their desire as hard erections pushed against each other through the fabric of their jeans. Jason’s hand slipped under the hem of Sean’s shirt, seeking and finding skin. His muscles quivered at the touch as Jason’s strong fingers stroking his back set him on fire.
Sean forced his arm between their bodies, desperate to get his hands on Jason, to feel his skin, to touch his cock. It had been so long since he’d touched another man, and this wasJason. His fingers hesitated at the button of Jason’s jeans, and he pulled away slightly, breaking the kiss so that he could look into Jason’s eyes. They were dark with desire, and Jason nodded, giving Sean the permission he sought. The button came undone easily and was followed by the zipper, the jeans opening just enough for Sean to squeeze his hand in and thrust it into the waistband of Jason’s boxers. As his hand closed around the base of Jason’s cock, Sean felt him shudder and pressed his mouth back to Jason’s.
This time the kiss was hot and wet and passionate as Sean manhandled Jason. He had little room to manoeuvre, but there was no way he was stopping for the time it would have taken to get Jason’s jeans and boxers off, so he made do with the little movement he had. He grasped and pulled, moving up Jason’s length and then back to the base. There was enough fluid leaking from the tip to lubricate his actions somewhat, but this wasn’t about comfort—this was about raw need, and it was rough and fast. Jason groaned into his mouth with each stroke, body taut. Sean levered up onto one arm to give himself more room. The kiss broke, but hovering over Jason allowed Sean to see his face, to watch the myriad of emotions that passed over it as Sean worked his cock. Jason grappled to pull him down, but as much as Sean wanted to kiss him, he wanted to watch his features as he came more.
Within minutes, Jason arched off the couch, as much as he could move with Sean hovering over him, and his release filled Sean’s fist, hot and sticky.
“Oh fuck,” Jason managed to gasp out. He reached for Sean, placing a hand on either side of his head, pulling him down for a kiss.
Sean gave into the kiss, warmth spreading through his chest at the knowledge he’d reduced Jason to a quivering, heaving mess, but he didn’t have much time to dwell before Jason was taking control and pushing him back. His lips never left Sean’s as he rose, Jason’s larger body lifting Sean’s easily. Jason pulled himself up to lean against the armrest, then dragged Sean so that he was sitting across his lap, a leg on either side of Jason’s broad thighs. Sean’s hard-as-rock cock pushed against Jason’s lower stomach. He couldn’t help but thrust along the firm abdominal muscles, so turned on by seeing Jason lose it. Jason stroked his back, then skimmed over his side, lifting the shirt as he sought out Sean’s nipple. He scraped his nail over the tight bud. Sean groaned as electricity shot from his nipple to his groin, a line of fire that encouraged him to grind harder.
Jason shifted his attention to Sean’s belt. “I want to touch you, Sean. I need to touch you. Please,” he whispered against Sean’s throat.
Sean froze for a moment, lifting his head and going still as he stared at Jason. So many thoughts flashed through his mind; things he thought he’d banished. As he looked into Jason’s eyes, eyes that were filled with passion and caring, he reminded himself that this wasJason, a man who had proved himself to be kind and honest. He remembered that he’d already decided he could do this, that he was ready. He couldn’t get the words out, his mouth suddenly dry and his heart beating rapidly. Tentatively he nodded, but even as he moved his head up and down, he wasn’t sure. Hewantedto be sure, he wished there wasn’t a doubt. His body still ached and wanted to push towards release, but as Jason started to pull his belt through the buckle, his mind took over and he desperately tried to get back on track.I want this. Idowant this.As the leather threaded through the buckle, he willed himself to be calm and still.It’s Jason. It’s all right.
But itwasn’tall right, and the panic set in. His pulse thundered, his breathing laboured, his erection disappeared. He felt faint and couldn’t think clearly. Sean reacted on instinct, shoving Jason away, and with lightning-fast speed, he jumped up, grabbed his keys, and rushed to the door. Through the haze of panic, he could hear Jason calling his name, but he didn’t stop, running towards the stairs and his escape.
7
The coffee wasstrong and dark, a lot like Jason’s present mood, a black cloud having descended on his world. From the high of his anticipation of the dinner with Sean and how much fun they’d had while chatting over the meal, to the unexpected ending and Sean’s rapid departure. He splashed more of the hot liquid into his mug and took it to the kitchen table. His breakfast sat uneaten, the peanut butter a congealed mess on the cold toast. He pushed the plate away and stared out the window as thoughts buzzed through his head.
He wasn’t entirely sure what had gone wrong last night, but he was starting to have his suspicions. He’d always sensed that Sean had secrets. Not that that was unusual; everyone had secrets, but he’d had a feeling that Sean’s secret might have been deeper than most. It broke his heart to know that something had happened in Sean’s life, happenedtohim, that had affected him so deeply.
There was a closed-off part of Sean, but Jason thought he’d been breaking down those barriers. Over the past weeks they’d grown closer; they’d opened themselves up more, but obviously not enough to prevent the events of the evening before. When he’d gone to bed after cleaning up the kitchen and all evidence of Sean’s presence, he’d felt a profound sense of disappointment that had slowly turned to anger. He’d been pissed off at Sean’s response to what had happened between them. If he’d wanted Jason to slow things down, if he hadn’t been as into it as Jason was, he only needed to say. For God’s sake, Jason understood the concept of consent and wasn’t going to force himself where he wasn’t wanted! But on reflection, he sensed that Seanhadwanted what happened between them. He couldn’t hide the physical response, but it was more than that; he had looked, reallylookedat Jason, and his desire had been reflected in those gorgeous light brown eyes. Sean had wanted to be held, and he’d wanted to be touched. He’d moaned into Jason’s kisses and melted into his arms. And he’d wanted to touch Jason too. There was no hiding any of that.
He took a sip of the bitter coffee as he stared at the huge Moreton Bay Fig in the park across the road. A couple of people were tossing a ball for a German shepherd. His eyes drifted to the parking spot where Sean had been parked the night before. He’d been so looking forward to seeing him that he’d kept half an eye on his cooking and the other on watching for him to pull up. He’d gone from the excitement of seeing Sean cross the road earlier in the evening, to the confusion of watching him rush back to his car later.
Last night when Sean had walked out the door, Jason had decided it was most likely over between them, but this morning as his confusion had morphed into some sort of understanding, he knew that losing Sean was the last thing he wanted. He wasn’t going to give up easily. He knew there was a part of Sean that needed healing, and he wanted to be the one to do this, to be there for him.
As he sat at the table and stirred his coffee, all of a sudden Sean’s happiness became the most important thing. Whatever he needed to do, whatever it took to win Sean’s trust and ultimately his love—yes, Jason admitted, love—then that’s what he’d do.
With that decided and a new sense of purpose, Jason took his coffee to the sink, pouring the now cold drink down the drain.
* * *
Sean wason his hands and knees, headfirst in the walk-in wardrobe as he dragged out shoes and sporting equipment. At work he was extraordinarily organised. He created lists and kept on top of everything. He didn’t miss deadlines. He knew where everything was on his desk—stationery, documents, reports—all meticulously filed. His home was fairly orderly too—a place for everything and everything in its place. But he hadn’t done a deep clean for ages and had purposely ignored the things he was now pulling out with abandon.
He muttered under his breath as he finally sat back on his heels and surveyed the pile in front of him. “I should have done this a long time ago. It’s about time I threw out all this crap,” he said to the cat. Pancake jumped off the dresser and stalked from the room. “Great support you are,” he called after her.
