Parker slowly nodded. “Yeah.”
“And you’re good?”
“I guess so.” Parker’s voice was low, his chin dipped low, and once again Rafe wanted to take his hand, to give it a reassuring squeeze.
Harvey laughed. “Talk about understatement of the year. You’re talking to the kid who was never seen without a guitar in his hands, the guy who studied every great guitarist that ever lived, someone who can play by ear even though he studied music. He’s a natural-born talent.”
As Harvey was speaking, Rafe had recalled Parker’s choice in music the first night they’d ended up back at his place, with Parker selecting to listen to the acoustics of one of Australia’s more renowned guitarists, and the knowledgeable way he described the performance. And then there was the morning in the studio where Parker’s fingers echoed the songs they were playing. Rafe had been entranced by his slender fingers moving.Why didn’t I put it together?Parker was obviously someone who loved music, and his brother was musical, so why wouldn’t he have taken up an instrument too?
“I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can.” Harvey’s voice was stern, and Rafe had no doubt they’d had this type of conversation before. He was glad to see Harvey lifting Parker up, confident in his ability.
“I’m not a performer. Sure, I can play, and I know the songs, but that doesn’t mean I’m cut out to stand up on stage and perform with the rest of you.” Parker paced the small room, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not cut out to be in the public eye. I’m not a rock star, I’m just a nobody.”
Rafe understood what Parker was saying—not everyone was comfortable up on stage—but he was definitely not a nobody. Someone had sure done a number on Parker. He was so down on himself, his self-esteem non-existent. He’d strangle the person who’d given Parker such a low opinion of himself.
“How about we be the judge of that?” Nigel said. He stood and looked around the room. “Let’s head over for some practice. We’ll run through the set and see how it goes. C’mon boys, get moving.” He turned to Parker as the others started following his orders, assuming it was a done deal—and Nigel did more often than not get his way. He addressed Parker. “If it goes well, then I’m sure Harvey can give you some pointers. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the boys—they were a wild card entry to this festival—and it’s now a wild card opportunity for you. Who’d turn down the opportunity to play at a gig like this with a band like HyperOctane, not to mention a fully paid OS trip? Now get cracking.” He clapped his hands together. “Time is ticking, kids. We get on that plane on Friday, and we’ve got work to do.”
Rafe breathed a sigh of relief as they all started bustling around, gathering phones and jackets, taking empty coffee mugs to the kitchen, and talking a mile a minute. It looked like it was all going to be okay, at least tour-wise. The tour could go ahead, they’d play the festival, then the few guest gigs that Nigel had lined up, and they’d hopefully score a big deal in the US. What looked like could have been a disaster, might actually work out.
But then he looked up and met Parker’s eyes. Those amazing pale emerald eyes were locked on him and filled with… what? Apprehension? Anticipation? Uncertainty?
Oh, fuck!It suddenly hit him, and it seemed, maybe for very different reasons, that his expression was probably mirroring Parker’s. He wasn’t sure whether to be excited or fucking nervous as all hell. It looked as if Parker would be spending the next few weeks with him, and that thought did strange, strange things to his heart.
12
Well, fuck! This can’t be happening!
The events of the day weren’t at all what Parker had envisaged occurring when Harvey had his accident. He’d pictured himself staying in Sydney to give his brother a hand—dealing with physical stuff, driving him around, being a sounding board when the frustration and depression no doubt set in. Who in their right mind would have pictured Parker filling in for him? He was an analyst, for fuck’s sake, not a member of one of Australia’s top rock bands. Harvey was the professional musician, the rock star; Parker was his number-one fan.
But his performance, audition, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, had said differently.
He’d blitzed the performance, his fingers flying over the borrowed electric guitar. He knew every song by heart and could play them backwards, forwards, and any other way. And once he’d started playing, the music had taken over and he lost himself in it, no longer fucking terrified of performing in front of people, but immersed in the whole experience. All he was aware of was the rhythm of the guitars, the beat of the drums, and Rafe’s vocals. He’d played along with Harvey countless times before, and he’d played by himself, but playing as part of a band was something new. The amazing feeling he had of being part of bringing the music to life was like nothing he’d ever felt before. By the end of the session, his forehead was beaded with sweat, his heart was racing, and he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. For a moment, he’d laughed in delight as they all celebrated a great set with hoots and high fives. When his damp palm had been grasped by Rafe, his world stood still, and Rafe’s shining smile lit him up inside. For a moment he’d even thought he could do this.I can be a part of something special, part of this awesome adventure.
His breath had stuttered as he’d locked eyes with Rafe and gripped his hand with an overwhelming desire to hang on to his touch. The scent of Rafe’s Dior Sauvage filled his nostrils, and he heated as it brought back memories of their night together. He knew Rafe was just as affected—his golden eyes dilated, and he licked his lip. Parker nearly leaned in to follow the path Rafe’s tongue had taken, but he regained his senses just in time. He cleared his throat and dropped Rafe’s hand as if his touch seared.And it did.
Is that disappointment in Rafe’s gaze?Before he had time to consider it, Nigel clapped him on the back.
“You’ve been holding out on us, mate.”
“Not exactly.”
“I’d say that was a resounding success. What did you think, guys?” Nigel didn’t wait for a response. “So, what do you say? You going to come with us?”
“I….” Parker looked to Harvey. Harvey gave a small smile and nodded.
Fuck, why is this so hard?So many reasonsnotto go. Harvey. Rafe.Jesus, Rafe.
Parker warred with himself, mentally addressing each issue. One part of him felt like a traitor taking Harvey’s place in the band.
As if reading his thoughts, Harvey spoke up. “You should do it, little bro. Just go for it! I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you were up to it, and I think the trip would do you good. You wanted a break before you got stuck back into work, didn’t you?”
Damn Harvey for bringing that up. Parker worked for himself, consulting to various clients, but he’d taken a sabbatical while he relocated back to Australia. He had another month before he had any serious obligations.And if you’re honest with yourself, all you need is your laptop and an internet connection, and you could work from anywhere.
“But who’s going to help you?”
“Ravi was going to stay on anyway. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping out where needed.”
