10
Spence had now been at Jenny’s for nearly a month. There’d been so much work to do, that on one hand, it felt like the time had gone quickly, but on the other, it felt like he had been away from home much longer.The longest four weeks of my life.He’d missed his mum and his friends, and most of all he’d missed Ben.God, how I miss Ben.
Keeping busy and working through Jenny’s huge list of repairs and maintenance jobs had kept Spence occupied, as had bonding with Jack and spending time with him. Spence had always promised Jenny he’d lend a hand, and working side by side with his cousin was a great opportunity to get Jack involved. Maybe Jack would now be able to pick up some more responsibility around the place? But eventually Spence realised he was using Jenny and Jack’s issues as a way of avoiding his own, something he couldn’t do indefinitely.
Over the past couple of weeks, Spence used the time to reflect on what was important to him and finally, after much soul searching, made some decisions. They weren’t easy decisions, and he was worried sick about the ramifications, but he’d come to the conclusion that really, he had nothing to lose—nothing that was more important, anyway.
He was going to call Ben and let him know that he was coming home.Coming home.Those words sounded amazing to his own ears.Home.
Spence listened to the ringing of the phone, biting his lip as the sound continued. His hand shook slightly so he gripped his mobile phone more firmly, so he didn’t drop the damn thing. Finally responding to Ben’s countless messages was the first step—the first step in grasping the future he wanted. He just hoped that Ben would forgive him for his arsehole behaviour.Of course, he will, Ben is the understanding type.Sure, he might make Spence work for his forgiveness, but he’d come around. The thought brought a smile to his lips, and some of the nervousness lifted.
After a half dozen rings and what felt like an eternity, the phone was answered. “Hello?”
Damn!For some reason, he hadn’t considered that Suzie would be the one to answer Ben’s phone. He was lost for words.
“Hello?” Suzie said again. “Spence?”
He pulled himself together. “Um, hi, Suzie. Yeah, it’s me, Spence.”
“Wow, it’s so good to hear from you.” He could hear the excitement in her tone. “Are you coming home soon?”
“Yeah. That’s why I called. I’m planning on heading back to town next weekend,” he said. “Can I speak—”
“That’s great! It will be so good to see you. We’ve all missed you and so much has happened while you’ve been away. It’s not the same without you.” She actually did sound happy to hear that she’d be seeing him soon; he just wished he could drum up the same feeling in return. “We really do need you here, what with all the planning going on. And I know Ben could really use your help with the arrangements.”
Spence frowned. He had no idea what she was talking about. “Help? Planning what?”
“The wedding, silly!” she exclaimed as if he should know all about it. “That’s why we’re all here. Although Cameron and Ben seem to want to spend more time talking about the bucks’ night than the wedding itself.”
She started laughing as he gripped the phone to his ear in stunned silence.A wedding? Surely I haven’t been gone long enough for a wedding to be on the cards already.
“Spence? Are you there?”
He finally found his voice again. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“There’s other stuff I want to tell you about, but it can wait till you get home. Just hurry back, will you. Ben’s missed you.”
He couldn’t bear to hear her talk for another second. “Listen, Suzie, I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later, okay?”
“Don’t you want to speak with—”
Spence hit End.
* * *
Holy fuck!
Spence couldn’t work out if he was more surprised, hurt, disappointed, angry, or just plain sad. Or maybe he was just a painful combination of all those emotions. Regardless, he didn’t want to think or feel anymore, which was why he was sitting at a small table in the closest club, drowning his sorrows in his fourth, or maybe it was his fifth or sixth drink.
I can’t believe I was too late.Finally sorting himself out and working up the courage to reach out for what he wanted. And for what? Nothing.I should have just tried to work past it, because letting myself hope just makes it harder.He threw back another gulp of vodka, the clear liquid burning as it made its way down his throat—a throat that was already raw from crying.
As the alcohol started to work its numbing magic, he finally glanced at his surroundings. The club was just like any other, with nothing special to make it stand out. Dim lighting, the smell of stale spilled drinks, and loud music. The bass pounded in his chest, the noise helping white out his thoughts. It seemed crowded for a Thursday night, at least in Spence’s opinion. Most of the tables were full, and the dance floor was packed with heaving, sweaty bodies. He caught glimpses of men as they moved against each other under the flashing lights, many of them shirtless, displaying the results of countless hours in the gym—taut abdomens, tight arses, wide shoulders, and muscled arms. It was a smorgasbord—a lot of variety, and he was sure, most available for the taking.
Spence had never been into the club scene. Sure, he’d visited one or two gay clubs in the past and even had a couple of dalliances—just a bit of casual rough and tumble in the dark, two strangers bringing each other to a quick orgasm. He’d never found the hand jobs and rutting very satisfying, which was probably why he hadn’t spent much time cruising. Just enough to realise that the quick and nameless encounters weren’t for him. He snorted. He’d always thought of himself as a one-man kind of guy, but maybe that should change.
As he scanned the room once more, he caught the eye of a guy leaning casually against the bar. Large framed, with wide shoulders and narrow hips and a clean-cut look, he reminded Spence of Ben. He took a deep breath, trying to push past the weight in his chest. The similarity forced him to avert his eyes and look back down at his own table. His hand sought his glass, and he brought the drink to his lips and took another gulp. As his vision went fuzzy—he blamed it on the effects of the vodka, because he wasn’t going to give in to tears—he blinked furiously, before lifting his head once again.
After another sweep of the room, he found himself drawn to the jock once more. He hadn’t moved. Nonchalantly leaning on the bar with one elbow, his hand wrapped around a beer, his foot propped up on the lower rung of a barstool, he was the picture of casual confidence. He had the appearance of someone who knew he was hot, someone who could get anyone he wanted, and his lazy smile showed that he’d decided on Spencer.
