In the silence, Tom was left holding Bailey’s hands. They were still cold despite the fact Bailey was now inside. “C’mon. Let’s go upstairs.”
Tom pushed Bailey towards the door to the apartment before quickly locking the door, arming the alarm, and flicking the lights. Upstairs he ran a bath, adding a good dash of bubble bath, and almost had to manhandle a quiet Bailey out of his clothes and into the warm water.
Bailey still hadn’t spoken as Tom knelt by the bath and ran a soapy washcloth over his chest. His eyes were closed and his breathing steady. The shivering had stopped and colour had returned to his face. Tom soaped the cloth and dragged it across Bailey’s slippery skin, leaving a line of soap suds along his arm. As he drew the cloth along Bailey’s other arm and across his chest, he thought back on everything Bailey had said.God, he’s kept a lot of secrets.
“Are you angry?”
Tom looked up in surprise at Bailey’s words, finding Bailey’s grey eyes focused on his. He shook his head. “No. Not angry. I’m disappointed.”
Bath water splashed everywhere as Bailey shot up like a bullet. “I knew—”
“Hold on a minute. Just listen.” Tom held him down, stopping Bailey from standing. Once he was sure Bailey wasn’t going anywhere and he had his attention, he started talking. “I’m disappointed, but not for the reasons you probably think I am. I’m disappointed that you felt you couldn’t confide in me, that I’d judge you, but more than that, I’m disappointed that your own sense of self-worth has you feeling this way. You’re a good person, inside and out. You aren’t defined by your job, or where you live, or even if you have either of those things. You’re defined by the way you don’t let life’s challenges stop you from helping other people, from giving back. And you are the most amazing man I know.”
“You really think that?”
“Fuck, Bailey. I don’t just think that, Iknowthat.” Tom leaned up on his knees and kissed him gently. He drew back and looked him in the eyes again. “Look at the way you helped me. For a long while there I thought I was a complete failure, that I’d fucked up so badly that I didn’t deserve any good things to happen, but you came along and showed me that we can’t let past mistakes or things outside of our control dictate the rest of our lives. Or were you just yanking my chain?”
“Never. You deserve every happiness.”
“Then I deserve you. And you deserve me. You’re it for me, Bailey.”
Bailey reached up, placing his palms on either side of Tom’s face, pulling him in for another kiss. This time the kiss was forceful, entirely led by Bailey, who seemed to want to devour Tom. Water dripped down his face, trickling under the collar of his shirt, but he ignored it as he did the puddle he was kneeling in. A little water was a small price to pay.
They finally came up for air.
“I’m sorry,” Bailey said, still holding Tom’s cheeks, their faces close.
Tom chuckled. “You’ve really got to stop saying that, Bails. I mean it.”
“But I am. Sorry I let it get this far. I wanted to talk to you, I really did. It’s hard to explain. I knew you were the one I wanted to talk to. I knew you’d listen and give advice and support me whatever happened. At least in my heart I did. But my damn head had other ideas. I can’t promise my doubts won’t surface again, but I can promise I’ll do my best to overcome them.”
“And no more secrets?”
Bailey nodded. “No more secrets. And in the spirit of honesty, I have a secret I should tell you.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” Bailey’s voice was sure and strong.
Tom filled with warmth and he couldn’t hold back the smile. “I’m glad, because I love you too, Bailey.”
Bailey grinned. “Tomorrow we can talk about all my shit for as long as you want. We can talk about my dysfunctional relationship with my father, my lack of a job, and the fact I’ll be out on the street in a couple of days.”
“You don’t think we should talk about that now?”
“Nope.” Bailey smiled, a smile so wide his eyes crinkled at the corners. “Right now I have other plans.”
With that he hauled Tom into another kiss. Water and bubbles went everywhere, and his clothes were soaked. It was a mess. But no matter how much of a mess they found themselves in, Tom knew that he and Bailey would come through with flying colours. All it took was love and facing life’s challenges together.
