Finn’s eyes flashed. “Having dreams means there’s something to lose when they don’t come true.”
“Having dreamsmeans there’s something to strive for, to look forward to. And sometimes they do come true. You can’t lose hope to the point of not reaching for what will make you happy.” Mitch was surprised at the level of passion he could hear in his own voice. Was he referring to his own crazy thoughts about being with Finn? They had only known each other for a few weeks but had spent countless hours together,and already Mitch felt so drawn to him, wanted to see where things could go. On one hand, there seemed so much potential, but on the other, things were no doubt doomed—between Rocky and the other club members never being able to find out about them, and what about his work? What impact would having a relationship with Finn have on his job?
Thoughts swirling again, Mitch studied Finn. He wantedFinn to be happy before all else.
Finn looked up. “Maybe you’re right. And maybe one day I’ll allow myself to think about what I really want to do with my life. But one step at a time. And what about you? What dreams does Mitch Nielsen have?”
Finn saying the surname he’d taken on for this job served as a reminder to Mitch that his thoughts had been taking him to ridiculous places, but even ifhe couldn’t have a future with Finn, it didn’t negate his desire to have a future withsomeone. He put the now-empty mug on the coffee table and tucked a knee under himself as he swiveled to face Finn on the couch.
“You’ll probably be surprised, or maybe think this sounds pathetic, but I want what my parents have. They both have jobs they enjoy, or at least Dad does; Mum’s retired now. Dad isthe principal of a small public school, and Mum was a nurse. They passed on a strong work ethic to my sister, Vanessa, and me—set a good example, you know?” Mitch flinched when he realized what he was saying, but Finn just nodded and gave him a small smile. “Well, anyway, Vanessa followed Dad into teaching, and I wanted a bit more excitement, and I wanted to—”
Fuck!He stopped short when he realizedhe was about to start talking about his desire to be on the force. There was something about Finn that made him want to open up and talk about things he hadn’t really spoken about with too many people.
“I… ah…. Anyway, Mum and Dad are also big on family. I come from one of those families where we used to go on joint family holidays together when we were kids, have regular family nights, haveall the rellos over for birthday dinners, that sort of thing. I guess that’s what I’d like. I’d like to do something to give back to the world, do something worthwhile. I’d like to have my own family one day, maybe have some kids—take them to the house up the coast, let their grandparents tell them stories….” Mitch’s chest grew tight and his throat thick. He looked at Finn, expecting to see laughteror him rolling his eyes. Instead he saw Finn’s gentle smile. “I told you, it was stu—”
“That sounds like a great dream to me.” Finn reached out and touched Mitch’s knee, the weight of his slender hand comforting, even through jeans. There was a sadness to Finn’s voice as he continued. “I hope you find someone you can have all that with one day.”
An image of Pete flashed before his eyes, alongwith a dull ache in his chest. “I thought I had it once before.”
“Really? What happened? That is, if you don’t mind telling me.” Finn gave his thigh a squeeze before lifting his hand and sitting back, giving Mitch some space. Strangely enough, even though the memories were painful, Mitch knew Finn would understand.
“I don’t think he shared the same vision of the future as me, or maybe his viewof the future changed somewhere along the way. Things don’t stay the same, I guess, and life took us down different paths. We tried to make it work. He tried to give—he tried to make some changes, but there were some things going on in his life he couldn’t overcome.”
“And you couldn’t live with how his life was? What he wanted?”
Mitch snorted. “Not that, no. They were the sort of things thatconflicted with the very essence of who I am.” Mitch cleared his throat. “Or at least who I want to be.”
“I hope you find that future.” Finn had reached out again and drew small circles on Mitch’s knee as he spoke. “And maybe you’re right. I should start allowing myself to hope there’s someone out there, that there’s something for me.”
A little piece of Mitch was sad it wouldn’t be him, buthe smiled anyway. “Like I said, dreaming can’t hurt, right?”
Finn smiled again, just a small tilting at the corners of his mouth, but it gave Mitch hope maybe Finn would allow himself to look to the future. Mitch just hoped the future Finn envisaged was one where he was as far away from Rocky and this place, as he’d indicated. He wanted that for Finn, for him to lose the haunted look and spendmore time with relaxed happiness on his face—the look Mitch had seen more of over the last couple of days.
“It’s getting late,” Finn said.
“I guess I should get going, then. It’s a long drive back to the city.” Mitch reluctantly stood, immediately missing Finn’s touch on his leg, but forced himself to head to the hall table and collect his phone and keys from where he left them when he firstentered the house.
“Mitch?” Finn’s voice was hesitant. Mitch turned to see Finn had followed him into the hall and was standing with his hand held out. “Stay.”
MITCH HESITATEDfor a moment. Finn could sense the turmoil, could see the indecision in his eyes. Mitch’s gaze flicked from Finn’s face to his outstretched hand, and back again, settling on his eyes. His features relaxed, and Finnsmiled when Mitch put the keys back down and took his palm in his own. His hand was warm, his grip strong, the touch telling Finn everything he needed to know. Mitch wanted this as much as he did.
