CHAPTER FOUR
Patrick
They’d finished dinner, eating at the outdoor table, enjoying the perfectly grilled steaks with a bottle of red Simon had dug out of one of the bags. Patrick had no idea about wine but it tasted pretty good. While they’d eaten, they’d watched the sky turn from deep violet to an inky blue, and the stars come out to scatter across the darkness. A chill had settled in once the sun was gone, so when the meals were finished they’d dumped the plates in the kitchen and made their way back out to the deck and to the Jacuzzi.
“This is heaven,” Patrick sighed. The hot water swirled around his body, and the tension further dissipated.
“Hmmm,” Simon mumbled through the cloud of steam that rose from the water and enclosed them in their own little world.
There was a feeling of weightlessness as the buoyancy of the water supported Patrick’s limbs, and the sense of total relaxation was welcome. The steam cleared a little, and Patrick looked through the wisps at Simon.
“It’s like a different world up here,” Simon said, as he gazed at the sky above them. “Quiet. Peaceful.”
Patrick followed Simon’s gaze and stared at the darkness beyond. He wondered whether Simon was referring to the quietness of the environment or the escape from the drama Patrick seemed to introduce into their lives. Patrick looked back at Simon, who met his gaze and smiled. Whatever it was, Patrick was glad Simon was unwinding. He deserved some time out from the pressures of his day-to-day life.
Simon closed his eyes and rested his head against the edge of the Jacuzzi. His long arms were stretched out at each side, the muscles corded and glistening. Water droplets? Sweat? Suddenly Patrick wanted to know. He imagined running his fingers from wrist to elbow, his tongue from elbow to shoulder, tasting Simon, and finally nuzzling into the crook of his neck.
Holy fuck.He became aware of his own body as it responded to his errant thoughts, the urgent pressure in his groin.
He raised his gaze to Simon's handsome face and was met with a smirk, just a lazy half smile as Simon held his stare. The steam swirled and Patrick blinked, breaking the spell that had held him mesmerized.
His heart rate increased and his throat grew dry. It was now or never.
"Simon," he started, "have you ever...." He trailed off, unsure what to say. Maybe having this conversation when his body was throbbing with need wasn't the best idea. He pressed the heel of his palm into his erection, then snatched his hand away.
“Yeah?” Simon prompted.
Patrick mustered his courage.I can do this."Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"I just wondered why we've never...." Patrick waved his hand in the air. "You know. Why haven't we ever got together?" He looked down at the swirling water, unable to maintain eye contact. Patrick took a deep breath of chlorine-tainted air, and raised his head. Simon looked at him with wide eyes.Shit. I hope I haven't made a mistake.
All of a sudden Simon laughed. He threw back his head and erupted in giant guffaws. The feeling of unease increased and Patrick's chest grew tight. As quickly as it began, Simon’s laughter was gone.
"And you're asking this because…?" A small smile played at the corners of Simon's mouth.
Patrick fidgeted, feeling exposed. He decided that having this conversation almost naked and unable to easily walk away definitely wasn't his brightest idea. The last of his erection died away as he battled his embarrassment, now no longer sure that Simon had been feeling the same things he had. Thank God the blush in his cheeks could be attributed to the heat of the water swirling around them.
"Hey." Simon slid along the seat until he was next to Patrick. "It's okay. I'm just wondering whether you’re asking for the reason I'm hoping you are."
Patrick swallowed heavily. "Yeah? And what reason would that be?" Patrick was glad he could throw the ball back in Simon's court. His heart was bumping a fast rhythm and he didn't think he was capable of getting the right words out.
Simon didn’t appear to share Patrick’s nervousness. "I've always felt a connection between us. You know? A spark of electricity. Something more than friendship. I got a sense you felt something, too."
Patrick looked into Simon's dark, serious eyes. "So why didn't you say anything?"
"I could ask the same thing of you."
"You could." Patrick nodded, maintaining eye contact.
Simon shrugged. "I guess there were a couple of reasons. Mainly I was worried you'd had to escape a hellish house-sharing situation and I didn't want to put you in the same position."
"How on earth would it be anything like that?" That made no sense to Patrick. There was no way he could imagine Simon ever putting him in a situation like his old housemate had. Simon was caring and sensitive to other people.
"I knew you'd felt uncomfortable at your old place and I didn't want you to feel that in your new home. I wanted you to settle in and feel at ease. After all the stress, you needed a place where you could relax. I didn't want to be the stalkerish housemate. So I figured I'd ignore my feelings and see what happened. Maybe wait for you to make a move." Simon stretched his arm out and rested it behind Patrick, along the back of the Jacuzzi.
Patrick bit back a laugh. "That was wishful thinking."
