Well,Stacey, I thought.Look at you now.Three different vampires, huh?
Aleister and I laid together for some time, our hands tracing each other’s naked flesh.
“What of your other companions?”he asked me.
“I don’t know,” I said.“It’s a complicated situation.I’m pretty sure we just made it more complicated.”
“I didn’t wish to confuse you,” he said.
“You didn’t,” I said.“If anything, I’m a little more clearheaded now.”
“I suppose I’m to blame for that?”There was a wistful, semi-boastful smile on his face.
“Yes and no,” I said.“Look.I’ve been feeling some guilt about all this—half the reason I was so upset with Eddie and Vic was that I felt like they wanted me to choose.I knew I couldn’t.”
“I made your choice clearer?”
“No,” I said.“Well, yes.Here’s the thing.Vampire sexuality is different, right?I think I’m.Look.I like all of you.Wanting to make me choose—that just.It doesn’t make sense to me.You’re each such amazing individuals.How can I not see you for the amazing people you are?It’s like asking me to choose which fruit to eat for the rest of my life.”
Aleister looked at me, gave me a small kiss on my hand.
“You are unlike most women,” he said.“Do you think this… affection dangling… do you think it wise?”
“It’s not dangling affection,” I said.“How can I say ‘You’re the one I want?’I want all of you.I want Eddie because he makes me laugh, and protects me.Vic makes me think.He challenges me.You—you make me curious.You make me think about what being a good person means.You make me want to better myself.How could anyone make that choice?”
“I understand,” Aleister said.“I am familiar with your mindset.I admit I have it myself, sometimes.I knew there would be some difficulty if I broached this subject, and so have tried, intentionally, to keep my distance from you.”
“Don’t,” I said.“Don’t diminish yourself.”
“Still,” he said.He sat up, beginning to dress himself again.“We are in the middle of more pressing concerns than our difficult love lives.Perhaps now is not the best time to be forthright about our dalliance.”
“It was more than a dalliance,” I said.
“And yet—what can I expect from you after this?”
“I don’t know,” I said, truthfully.
He smiled at me, a patient grin, and zipped up his trousers.
“Make yourself decent.The room reeks of sex.I’ll see if I can find some of that fermented seal—it could serve as a cover.”
I was a little discomforted by how easily Aleister could slip between roles—and how easy it was for him to hide what we had.It showed something to him—a maturity, I think, or maybe a wise tactician’s sense.Maybe even a sense of shadiness.After all, we were in the middle of a game of political intrigue, so what he said made sense, but it hung with me all wrong, emotionally.
“Aleister,” I said.
He merely smiled at me, and his eyes were kind.
“Another day,” he said.“We shall see what comes to us on another day.”
As he walked from the room, I felt, somehow, like I had fucked things up with him before they even began.It was not a good feeling.
Vic and Eddiearrived some hours later, stirring with excitement.They seemed not to notice Aleister and my awkward silence.
“You should see this whole place,” Eddie said.
“It’s massive,” Vic said.“There’s a coliseum on one end.”
“No time for that,” I said.“We have a predicament.”
