She clenched her eyes shut.“I’ve felt the same.”
Ryan sighed.“See?I think that’s the problem.Your bond is a part of the Triad’s bond.It’s complicated, and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense… How can it?It’s unique.But at the same time, with both your permission, I’d like to see if there’s a link between us.”
She bit her lip.“What if there isn’t?”
“Then we can’t be together,” Shawn said softly, and the pain in his eyes hit her in the solar plexus.
Ryan sighed again.“He’s right, El.It wouldn’t work if there wasn’t a connection.It means that the love you feel for one another isn’t… it’s that of friends.Not lovers.”
She gulped, uncertainty flooding her.Were they just friends and she’d always misinterpreted it?She’d never been at one with her emotions.Had always been the kind of woman who brushed them away, preferring to deal with them at a later date.
It meant she wasn’t very in touch with them, and so, was useless at understanding herself.
Ryan cleared his throat.“Love is powerful,” he whispered.“Even if you’re just friends, we’d never expect you to forgo that friendship out of jealousy or fear.”
Somehow that, more than anything, reassured her.Not to have Shawn in her life at all was more than she could bear.
It didn’t matter if she had three men in her life or four hundred.Shawn was her rock.Always had been.Always would be.
“Do it,” Shawn gritted out.“I need to know.I’d have walked away.After we had that stupid pissing contest on the driveway, it got me to thinking when I hit the sheets.I’ve felt this way for so long that I don’t even know how to deal with it.We either need to move on and have closure or be allowed to embrace it.”
Ryan looked at her, a silent question in his eyes.She nodded.“I feel the same.”
“Okay.”
As he’d done on their first date, Ryan closed his eyes, then a charge shot through the room.She felt it more than she had that first time because she was aware of it, but Shawn, ever sensitive, jolted in place.Then, he jerked back when Ryan opened his eyes and the gold striations in the irises began to coalesce into thin shapes.
One immediately banded out.It connected with Maryellen in less time than it took to breathe.
The other day, the connection between them had been thick.Finger-width.Now?It was like the thickness of Ryan’s wrist.And he had huge forearms and hands.
Her eyes widened at the sight, but it fit.She felt a million times closer to him, to them all today, than she had the first night when she’d been more confused than anything else.Time to process everything, distance in the safety of their home…
It had enabled her to see the woods for the trees.
The gold link joining them only confirmed that.
Blinking down at the golden band, she looked over to him and saw the golden lines were so numerous, his blue irises had disappeared.The wispy links numbered in their thousands at that moment which, inadvertently told her how many people lived here on the compound—Jesus, this place had to be huge!
She looked over at Shawn, trying to discern his reaction and had to smile at the look of terror on his face.
She’d seen him face down the barrel of a gun.He’d even abseiled into a fucking bedroom window one night to help her escape a kidnapping attempt that had succeeded.Backing away from that thought, she thought of all the many dangerous situations they’d been in together, and realized he looked more scared now than at any other point.
She studied Ryan’s links, and felt her heart break a little when she didn’t see one connecting to Shawn.But before tears could prick her eyes, tears she’d have to hide so as not to upset the men in the room, a thick strand unraveled from the link with her.Halfway down their bond, it shot off on its own, and hit Shawn square in the chest.
Almost like it had been a physical punch, he gulped, then turned to look at her.Her smile was wet and teary, she knew it, but it didn’t stop her from striding across the room, and his astonishment didn’t stop him from opening his arms to let her in.
The uneasein the room was thick.
She hated it, and felt no bones in admitting that, even if its presence was her fault.After all, it stemmed from the fact she had four mates.Four inexplicable mates, and the Triad were, quite naturally, reeling from that truth.
Not that they’d said anything.Or complained.When the three of them had walked from the lodge to Pride House and had met up with Marc and Trip, Ryan had immediately divulged what had happened between them the second the door to his office was closed.
Ever since, Marc and Trip had been quiet, and that had been facilitated by Erickson and Santiago’s arrival.
The cops had a tablet in each of their hands, and they were talking amongst themselves while Ryan fielded a last-minute call that Adam, who seemed to be Ryan’s PA, had stated he couldn’t handle.
When Ryan put the phone down, he looked over at her and smiled.The smile was warm and reassuring.It was a silent promise that all would be well.
