Chapter1
It was supposed to be over.
That was how this was meant to work, how the story was supposed to go.Every fairy tale that she had read growing up had ended the same way, and, with the help of all the people surrounding her, El had been led to believe that was the way that this was going to end.
“One more push, and it’s all over with.”
That was what everyone had told El the moment she gave birth, and Shawn’s mother traded her life for hers.All the hard times were over; all the worrying was done.The prophecy had been fulfilled, and that was that—now they could all move on into a bright new tomorrow.
A very welcomed, bright new tomorrow.One without worry, one without looking over her shoulder all the time and wondering if someone was going to kill her.One that would allow her to enjoy the company of four different men—a situation she never thought she would be in before.
After all, El thought, looking at herself, she wasn’t exactly what people thought of when they imagined a reverse harem.
Growing up, El had never really thought herself to be the promiscuous type.Mainly because the world around her had never really given her the chance to be the type she wasn't.She wasn't one of those skinny, model-thin type girls.The ones who looked like her mother, or at least the woman that she had grown up hearing was her mother.She was, to put it bluntly, fat.
Some people in this world didn't like to hear that word; they liked to live in their pretend reality where everyone was skinny and perfect all the time, But El knew the truth.She was fat, and there was nothing wrong with being fat.Being fat was, to her, just a part of life.She had learned to embrace it.
Especially now, considering the fact that she had only just given birth, and her child was hardly even walking yet.Destiny was just six months old.It made sense for El to have a little more pudge than she was used to.After all, losing pregnancy weight was basically just a myth that was invented by magazines to sell more issues.Half of the women who gave birth never managed to lose it afterward—so long as they weren’t Annabel Drew or something.
El was fat, and she probably would be fat for the rest of her life.She probably would have stretch marks and little parts that she didn't like until the day that she died.That was just how life worked.You didn't always get what you wanted.Despite that, despite saving the Pride, fulfilling the prophecy, and having four very attentive mates, El couldn't help but frown at the image that met her in the mirror that day, her hands gripping her stomach and the urge to shake the belly fat that she knew the extra pounds and stretch marks would haunt her for the rest of her life.
She was disappointed in herself, and she hated to admit it.Especially then, looking at herself and knowing that she used to be smaller, tighter, perhaps even a bit hotter when dressed, right?
“It is only natural to feel a little disillusioned by that for it all,” Persia, the woman who ended up being El’s real mother had said to her just a few days prior, having spied the way that she looked mournfully at herself in the mirror.But still, El couldn't help but be irked.Her whole life, she had felt like she wasn't desirable; her whole life, she had felt like the only friends and lovers that she had were largely because she was rich, and now she had to look herself in the mirror and see all these different things that had now gone, in her opinion, wrong with her body.
She sighed, shaking her head as she finally reached back to undo her frumpy old bra, knowing that Ryan wasn't going to wait that much longer before he started crawling out of bed looking for her.It was his night, after all, and with the amount of stress that he was currently in, he was a little more demanding than he used to be.
Not that she could blame him, considering the fact that the healers had taken one look at Ryan and his situation was struggling to shift and told him that he needed some quality time with his mate in order to recover.If she had heard that her inner beast was raging out of control on and off and still had its own case of PTSD that could only be cured via cuddling, she was pretty sure she would be just as demanding as he was—especially if she was the alpha of all things, the one lion that was meant to lead the pack.
She was pretty sure that his position alone made Ryan’s needs a little more pressing than her body image issues, even though one of them felt a little more real than the other—especially considering the fact that she had recently seen Ryan shift with little to no difficulty and she was pretty sure that he was on the up and up.
It just sucked that even with Ryan’s advanced need and four groundbreakingly handsome mates, as well as a daughter that looked at her like El had hung the moon and the stars, El still had to wonder if she would have all of this if she wasn’t what she was—a shifter hybrid, one that was both panther and lion.Someone who was special, largely because the rest of the world had decided that she was, and not because of anything she did or the person she really was inside.
If El were just her, the insecure little girl that had grown up underneath her mother's thumb, constantly hearing complaints about her appearance and the way that she behaved, would any of them look twice?If big cats weren't raging to the front of their brains and overwhelming their very existence, would they even want her?
One look at Ryan, his body sprawled out across the bed, his large, muscular limbs hanging over the edges as a single sheet laid draped discreetly over what El liked to refer to as ‘the good parts,’ and she highly doubted that he would ever want her.After all, he was the type of guy who you normally saw on the covers of magazines lounging next to stick-thin models who probably had pussies so tight that it was like fucking a vice grip.Now that she had given birth, she was pretty doubtful that anything about her was tight anymore, especially after the stitches.El grimaced to think of those.
Ryan, on the other hand, was gorgeous, and unquestionably so.He was a canvas of golden skin and perfectly defined muscles, paired with an astonishingly adorable dimple and good looks that one could define as being both boyishly handsome and somewhat more mature—
He was, to put it lightly, sin wrapped up with a bow and shoved into one perfect package.The dream guy of just about every woman, just like all of her mates were.
But at the end of the day, Ryan was still there.That had to count for something, didn't it?Give and take, El didn't really fully understand how mate bonds worked.She didn't know if it just worked so that up until you produced an heir, you wanted each other, and then if you were primed and ready to have another kid, then your mates came out of nowhere to fuck the shit out of you, or if there was something else to it.Was this a forever thing, or was this a for-now-and-when-we-need-it thing?
Especially prophecy sex.El frowned at the very idea.
But, of course, frowning wasn’t exactly a good idea for El at that moment either, considering the fact that the moment that she did it, her eyes trained on the mirror and taking in herself once more; the large lion behind her seemed to take the opportunity to rise, having stretched and gotten out of bed while she wasn’t looking without much thought.
Ryan slunk behind El, wrapping his large arms around her stomach and pulling her into him, his cheek brushing against the side of her throat and his lips pressing into the soft skin of her shoulder, his teeth just barely applying pressure right above them, and sending a shiver down her spine.“El,” he growled, his voice heavy with both impatience and need as he pulled her back further into him, forcing her to feel the swell of his erection between her cheeks and sending a tremor of pleasure down her spine.
El didn't know what it was about the low, throaty growl that always came from Ryan that enticed her, but she did know a lot about other parts of him, like his smile, which was always so brave and somewhat daring.More than that, she knew his strength, his selflessness, and the fact that, at the end of the day, there was no one else that El would rather have in her mated quartet.
After all, nature had decided that it wasn’t enough that Ryan be kind and good and selfless and caring—he was also the alpha as well, a coveted position within any pack that made it easier for someone like El, an outsider, to feel important and like they belonged.When it came to her and Ryan, no one ever questioned anything.
Without that position, well, she shuddered to think of what life could have been like and instead allowed herself to soak in Ryan’s scent and presence.It wasn’t often these days that the pair were alone together, after all.Ever since Destiny had been born, Ryan had made it his personal job to spend as much time with her as possible, becoming the biggest girl dad that El had ever met.
But as much as it melted her heart seeing Destiny sitting upon Ryan’s shoulders and thrown up in the air by him, she still liked to have these little moments with him alone.The moments when he brushed her hair aside and lavished her neck, burying his face in the pool of her scent and relishing in the fact that his mate was there.“Beautiful,” he said, and for that moment, El once again felt like she was.After all, if someone like him could like her the way that he did, then she obviously had something going for her.
More than that, El supposed when she opened her eyes and looked up in the mirror once again, noting the way that Ryan’s hands roamed the landmarks of her skin in worship rather than shunning and ignoring the rise and fall of stretch marks and scarring; he didn’t seem to see any of her imperfections, even when she worried about them.The dazy haze of mateship hadn’t cleared.They were still excited in a fog of perfection that El could only assume was created by the mate bond—it was possible that they would see her as perfect for the rest of her life, she hoped.
