“I haven’t even shifted into a Lioness yet.You sure the Pride is going to want me officiating tonight?Because I really can’t see that making people happy.Not when they don’t trust me or know me.”
Ryan was rolling his eyes by the time Shawn tuned back into their conversation.“When you were human in their eyes, you were still Luna.And the Pride was always expecting a human, and therefore a weaker, member as its Luna.”
“But I’m not human.I’m not weaker either,” she said in a growl.“You know like I do that they will not be happy about a Panther running the show.It’s foolish to pretend otherwise.”Ever since she’d realized how the ritual would work, she’d been nervous and had actually been avoiding Ryan.
A fact that had amused him.
She never had liked public speaking or being at the center of a crowd’s attention.
Surprising really, considering how often she was a part of the limelight thanks to her name.
“Well, it’s just tough.They going to have to get used to it if they want me to be their leader.And as far as I’m aware, no matter what I do to change their opinion of me, they still want me to be their leader.”Not in a world where right was might, anyway, Shawn thought wryly.“Which means,” Ryan said with no small amount of satisfaction lacing his tone.“We come as a team.You got me?”
Another huff.“You’re preaching to the converted here.I’m not the problem.”
Ryan just smirked.“You let me deal with them.”
With a sigh,EL did a twirl in her toga.This was the seventh time she’d gotten one of the drapes caught up in a branch or a bush in the clearing around the pavilion and she was getting damn tired of it.
Although clearing was an inappropriate name considering it wasn’t clear.In the garden, she hadn’t had a problem with the toga.But here?It was a whole other ball of wax.
As she was butt naked underneath.It was to her detriment if the mass of fabric fell apart.That was all she needed to happen tonight on a holy occasion.One that she was leading.
Great.Just great.
She wasn’t happy about being in charge here.Not when she didn’t particularly know the rites of passage, didn’t know the intricacies of the ritual even though she’d been studying them for the past few days.But worse than that, somebody here might very well have been behind the blast itself.Not only were the families of the men who had been travelling with Ryan and Trip attending, but the highest echelons of the Pride were also roaming around in a somber display of grief that she didn’t believe for a minute.
She recognized the important members from the last ceremony she’d attended, a ceremony that had ended with her learning she was a Shifter.Thanks to one greedy cat sniffing around her mate, jealousy had urged the Panther into making an appearance.And though she wished the Lioness would make an appearance, because she knew the Pride would trust her more even if a dual natured Shifter was rare, she really hoped it didn’t take another situation like the last one to make the beast come out and play.
Or, if that had to happen, that it wasn’t tonight, otherwise she’d really come to loathe these fancy events.
It wasn’t like she was that big a fan of them anyway.
More at ease coordinating and organizing charity events rather than attending them, El had always shied away from anything overly public.She hated crowds, and here, with close to a hundred Shifters milling around, there was definitely a crowd.
She stood apart from her mates, and that was another fact she hated.Shawn was back at the lodge, having decided that his presence there would undermine her position.She understood the reasoning, but hated it nonetheless.
El was accustomed to having him with her at all times, and doing without him put her on edge.
Still, she knew the Pride might see it as a sign of weakness, her having a bodyguard at a sacred event so she endured his absence.The human wanted him here, the cats wanted to make sure no other bitch sniffed around him as had been the case the last time she’d been acting as Luna at an event.
She stood by a bonfire, which had been gathered together beside the pavilion.In front of her, there was a table, and for each man who’d passed, there was an item each cherished.She had nothing better to do than study the pieces, and had to wonder at the lives of the men who had died in service to the Pride.
One was a book of poetry by Byron.Another a painting — an innocuous beach scene that though she recognized there was talent there, there was nothing to inspire anyone’s jaw to drop.And that made her feel guilty but, it was the truth.Tonight, being true to herself was the only way she’d survive the event.There was a small box, and she didn’t know what that contained, not without opening it and that felt invasive.There was a pocket watch, a patchwork quilt and, of all things, a Bible, an artefact that stunned her considering the Pride wasn’t Christian.But still, each to their own, and all the more for her to wonder about as she stood there at the center of everybody’s attention while still being on the outskirts of conversation.
Ryan had warned her that she wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone until the event was through.At the time, she’d figured that was for the best.The least said, the least she could offend.Or, the least she could mess up.She was well aware that people disapproved of her Panther, and if anyone said anything or questioned her about it, she wasn’t entirely sure if she’d be able to hold her tongue on the matter.Tired of being judged, with the strength of her Lioness and the Panther inside her, control when it came to being slandered wasn’t something she had in great quantity.
What he hadn’t told her was that she would feel like a goldfish in its bowl.A part of the crowd and yet distant from it, she hoped it wasn’t a harbinger of the future.
She’d spent a lifetime set aside from her family, different and never truly accepted.She feared that was the case here because of her dual nature, but more than that, maybe she was just too much for these people.
Ryan was not a man to dislike others easily.And yet, she knew he didn’t like a lot of the people here tonight.There had to be a reason for that.He didn’t discriminate, if anything he didn’t seem to like anyone and relied upon his Triad brothers to pick up the slack where that was concerned.
If these people were so disliked by him, there was a reason for that.And considering she broke all protocol, and was the Shifter equivalent of a Pandora’s box, she didn’t think a crowd like this would find many reasons to approve of her.
The thoughts running around her head did nothing more than unsettle her.She was already nervous from having to remember all the lines that made this ceremony so sacred.But the belief that she could, once again, be the outsider among this collective disheartened her greatly.
Unlike the official ceremony of accepting a Triad brotherhood into the Pride, which had been the last ceremony she had to attend, this wasn’t fancy.Save for the togas the women wore, and the linen pants the men sported, there was no similarity.Gentle lights didn’t decorate the area, and there were no flowers or plants to soften up the harshness of the surroundings.Nor was there any food or drink, and she herself had been nil by mouth all day as had her mates and the rest of the Pride.They would only break their fast once this ceremony was over.
