"Or very stupid."
"Could be both." I say, she stands, dropping money for a coffee she didn't order. "Tonight. My room. Even if there's no emergency, we're still doing wine and terrible decisions."
Despite everything, I laugh. "Deal."
That night, I show up at Ivy's room with my own contribution, a bag of chips I can actually afford and the willingness to be interrogated by my friends.
Lennox is already there, sprawled on Ivy's bed with her phone. When I enter, she sits up.
"The woman of the hour. Tell us everything."
"There's nothing to tell."
"Lies." Ivy pours wine into three mugs. "You're smiling more. You're less stressed and according to my sources, you and Sebastian have been texting constantly."
"Who are your sources?"
"I have my ways." She hands me a mug. "Now talk."
So I do. I tell them about the cooking class, about the arboretum, about Sebastian's confession regarding freshman year. About how maybe I was wrong about some things.
They listen without interrupting, unusual for Ivy and when I finish, they exchange one of those looks.
"What?" I demand.
"You're falling for him," Lennox says simply.
"I'm not?—"
"You are. And it's terrifying you." She takes a sip of wine. "Which, honestly? Relatable. Falling for someone who's hurt you is scary as hell."
"I'm not falling for him. I'm just... reconsidering my initial assessment."
"That's what falling looks like," Ivy points out. "Reconsidering. Making excuses. Seeing the best in them instead of the worst."
"I'm not making excuses. I'm accepting new information."
"New information that happens to make him more sympathetic. More human. More dateable." Ivy leans forward. "Look, I'm not saying don't give him a chance. I'm saying be careful. Protect yourself. Don't lose who you are trying to save him."
"I'm not trying to save anyone."
"Aren't you?" Lennox challenges gently. "You taught him to skate. You walked him through cooking. You're giving him chances he doesn't deserve. That's saving, Isla. That's what you do, you fix things. But people aren't broken kitchen equipment."
Her words hit harder than I want to admit.
"So what am I supposed to do? Just write him off? Refuse to see that he's trying?"
"No," Ivy says. "You're supposed to remember that trying isn't the same as succeeding. That good intentions don't erase bad actions. And that you deserve someone who chooses you from the start, not someone you have to teach how to be decent."
The room goes quiet.
"But," Lennox adds, "if you really think he's worth it, then we support you. We'll be here to pick up the pieces if it goes wrong. And we'll celebrate with you if it goes right. And we can talk about what he has under his clothes, it’s got to be fucking hot."
I can’t help but laugh, because crazy as it is, I’ve not once thought about what’s under his clothes, but now I will.
"Even though you think I'm making a mistake?"
"We think you're taking a risk," Ivy corrects. "Big difference. Mistakes are careless. Risks are brave. And you've never been careless a day in your life."
