The image of her last night, disorientated and helpless, had me gripping the flimsy coffee cup so tight I almost crushed it.
‘How are you feeling?’ She looked better, but with Rosie, it was hard to tell what was real and what was part of the shield she used to keep people from prying into her life.
She glanced over at me, wincing. ‘Like a chainsaw is doing its best to sever my head from my body. Luckily, I don’t have work, although I have mastered the art of working with a hangover. It’s just not the preference.’
‘You talk to Fallon yet?’ I thought about what Oliver said about her getting ready to drop everything to get back to her best friend. ‘She was really worried about you.’
Rosie slumped down on the sofa. ‘Yeah, we talked this morning.’
‘Based on your expression, I’m guessing it didn’t go very well.’
She groaned, tilting her head back, so it rested on the back of the sofa. Scrutinising the peeling paint on the ceiling with a vicious glare. ‘Considering I’m now on a casual sex ban. No, it’s not going well.’
I froze with the coffee halfway to my lips. ‘I’m sorry, what?’
Her head lifted, and the scowl that overtook her gorgeous face nearly made me laugh. She was adorable when she was angry.
‘I’m making a point.’ Her tone was sharp. ‘Fallon thinks I can’tconnectwith people. She called me commitment-phobic. So, to prove that being alone is a choice and not a side effect of my inability to be in arelationship…’she said the word like it had personally murdered her entire family.‘We made a bet.’
A bet? I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to like the next words out of her mouth. And as she explained the parameters of the bet, I was right. Leaning forward, I propped my elbows on my thighs, running a hand down my face. ‘Christ, you guys do nothing by halves, do you?’
She sighed in response. Her blonde hair sat in soft curls that fell around her shoulders. Most of the time, it was pulled back into a tight bun, easier for her to manage when she was at work. Seeing it loose made my hand twitch with the urge to thread my fingers into it, to find out if it was as soft as it looked. Her eyes drifted to mine, and before she could read anything into my expression, I took a sip of my coffee that was going cold and asked the question that had been burning in the back of my head for a while.
‘Have you honestly never wanted to be in a relationship before?’
Her nose wrinkled up as soon as I asked the question. ‘Have I ever wanted to be manipulated and controlled by another human being? No. I haven’t.’
My eyebrows shot to my hairline. ‘Fuck, that’s a twisted way of looking at relationships.’
Her steely blue eyes snapped back to mine. ‘It’s the truth.’
‘It might be your observation,' I said, ‘But how can you really know if you’ve never been in one before?’
‘I don’t need to stab myself in the eye to know it would royally suck.’
‘True, but getting stabbed isobjectivelybad. There’s no possibility of it being a good time. It’s like saying you hate rock climbing without ever scaling a wall. You might hate it, but there’s a chance you might love it. You never know unless you try.’ I shrugged. I had enough theory of mind to know that monogamy wasn’t for everyone. Being in a committed relationship took hard work; for some, it wasn’t where they wanted to spend their energy. They were happy living a low-commitment lifestyle.
I scanned Rosie in her slumped position, taking in the purple bruises beneath her eyes, and the way they dimmed slightly as she talked about relationships.Happywasn’t how I would choose to describe her.
‘I have no interest in trying,' she said, swallowing thickly.
‘Then why are you?’
She hesitated before sitting up straight and running her fingers through her hair, staring fixedly at a spot on the carpet. It took her a moment to respond. I watched as resolution settled over her face. ‘Because I scared her,’ she said softly. ‘And I’d rather give up sex for the rest of my life than hear that worry in her voice because of something I did again.’
Rosie might have an aversion to relationships, but her loyalty to her best friend was unparalleled. If they were in a room together, they naturally gravitated towards oneanother. I’d witnessed it. Her fierce protectiveness over Fallon was one of the things I liked most about Rosie.
She huffed out a laugh when the silence between us stretched on for too long and got to her feet. ‘Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but now you’ve accepted my apology coffee and appreciation croissant, I’m going to try not to scoop my eyeballs out as I sign up for a dating app.’ Her forehead creased, and she made a gagging noise.
I stood up quicker than I meant to. The idea of her trawling through the internet to find a date sent heat flaring through my muscles. I needed to get a fucking grip.I wasn’t some caveman who needed to beat his chest to state ownership over someone, especially when that someone wanted nothing to do with me.
Not my problem. Not my fucking problem.
Forcing a fake-as-shit smile on my face, I dipped my head. ‘Thanks for the coffee, sweetheart.’
A subtle pink stained her cheeks. ‘Thanks for coming to my rescue last night.’
‘Anytime. I’m always around if you need saving.’ I meant it. Down to my bones, I knew I’d always be here for her whenever she needed me.
