‘We’d play hide and seek and when it was my turn to count, he’d dress up in some costume or something and jump out at me. He used to cut holes in my socks and t-shirts so whenever I’d wear them my parents would always complain that I looked ratty. He used to rip out the last chapter of my favourite books and then destroy them. Stupid shit like that.’
‘That’s not just stupid shit. If it affected you, it’s not stupid.’
Fallon huffed out a laugh, ‘Well, that was the tip of the iceberg. When we got older, I learned to ignore him. Not giving him the reaction he so desperately wanted. I thought he’d get bored. Isn’t that what everyone says about bullies?Ignore them and they’ll go away.’ Contempt for her brother spread across her face. ‘When I was fifteen, my parents wentout for a night in London to see some West End show. My sister was at a friend's house, so they left me with Evan.’
My gut twisted, but I let her continue.
‘He was two years older than me, so I think he resented being forced to babysit. He invited some friends over, there were five of them. All huge guys he used to play rugby with. I stayed in my room for most of the night, until all the lights went out.’ An almost imperceptible shiver ran down her spine at the memory. ‘I wasn’t scared then, so I went downstairs to find Evan, thinking that the breaker had just tripped or something. But I couldn’t find him or his friends. I searched the whole house, and when I finally went to look in the garage, thinking they’d gone out there to smoke pot or something, I heard laughter. Not the happy laughter, I’m talking horror movie laughter. They’d set up speakers all around the house so it echoed. I opened the garage door, terrified, and that’s when five guys rushed towards me in the dark. They all but trampled me. Oh, yeah and they were all wearing clown masks. You know the one from IT?’
My jaw was moments away from shattering under the pressure. I nodded stiffly.
‘I was on the floor curled up in a ball hyperventilating for what felt like an eternity, when Evan eventually came out, laughing. All of them stood over me in the pitch black jeering with those masks on. The lights came on and all of the guys were practically hysterical. It was the funniest thing they’d seen all year apparently.’ She scoffed. ’That was the first time I had a panic attack.’
‘What did your brother do?’ I managed to ground out.
Fallon looked at me blankly. ‘He walked away.’
My grip on my mug went so tight I was seconds away from it shattering. I set it down and swallowed past the rage clogging my throat. ‘I’m guessing that your parents camehome and punished him and then hugged you and told you everything was going to be okay.’
Fallon’s lips lifted in a weak smile. ‘He got told off for having people over. They ignored the alcohol and the pot and their daughter who hadn’t been able to stop crying.’
‘Fucking hell.’ I leaned my forearms on the counter and dropped my head between my shoulders.
‘I haven’t been able to sleep without a light on since.’ She muttered, head dipping back down to her lap.
Fuck this.
I rounded the counter. Reaching her, I spun the stool around and curled my body around hers. It only took a few seconds for her to unfold her arms and wrap them around my waist. Her coconut shampoo reached my nose and I was beyond help at that point, because I buried my face into the top of her head.
‘Are you sniffing me?’
I took an exaggerated sniff. ‘Yep.’
‘It’s creepy.’
‘Deal with it,’ I said, taking another hit of the coconutty goodness.
Her voice was muffled where her face was buried in my shirt but I thought I heard her mutter,weirdo.
Pulling away enough that I could see her face but still have her close, I cupped her cheek. Her body swayed into me. Her hands gripping my waist.
Her eyes peeled open, like she’d been enjoying the hug as much as I had and her brown eyes punched me straight through the chest.
I threaded my hand through her hair, gripping the back of her neck. A flash of heat flared in her eyes. What I wouldn’t give to have her on her hands and knees, her hair curled in my fist as I pounded inside of her.
FOCUS.
It was becoming increasingly difficult to do around Fallon.
I cleared my throat. ‘I’m sorry that happened to you.’
The desire in her eyes dimmed. She shrugged. ‘It’s okay.’
My grip hardened. ‘It’s not.’ Our eyes connected and for one moment we were the only people in the world. Two people who in the grand scheme of things should never have crossed paths. And yet, here we were.
I didn’t believe in God. I barely believed in fate. But something about Fallon felt otherworldly. This fire that cracked between us, that lit me up like a bonfire whenever she was near… this went so far beyond the physical. More than lust. More than fucking. It was like she was reaching parts of me that had previously gone untouched.
And it scared the fuck out of me.
