‘What?’ I snapped. Being an arsehole was becoming a force of habit. When you expect the worst of people, being a defensive prick comes naturally.
‘I don’t know if you’ve seen any movies recently. But the girl who follows a stranger down a dark alley always dies.’ She surveyed the grungy alley, eyes darting around anxiously.
A single surge of sympathy caused me to bite back my initial retort. I shoved my hands into my coat pocket. ‘You need the bathroom.’
‘Yes, but not at the risk of murder.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘I’m not planning on killing you.’
‘It could be a spur-of-the-moment decision.’ Her eyes widened like this was a perfectly reasonable accusation.
My irritation mounted. ‘Fucks sake, woman. I was taking you in here,’ I pointed to the back door, ‘The bathroom is just inside.’
Her gaze followed my gesture, but she still didn’t move.
Chewing on her bottom lip, she said, ‘Breaking and entering wasn’t on my list of things to do this morning either.’
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. This pink-haired pixie was pulling on my last nerve, and I didn’t have that many to play with.
Doing my best imitation of a calm person, ‘Look, do you want the bathroom or not?’
At the mention of the bathroom, her hand darted out to hold her stomach, face contorting into a blend of pain and longing.
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said through clenched teeth.
I highly doubted that. Having a feeling I needed to egg her on, I closed the distance between us and raised my eyebrow in challenge. ‘Really? 'Cause I give you about two minutes.’
Her back stiffened. A steely look of determination covered her round, delicate face. Her skin was pale with a light dusting of freckles across her nose that I guessed would be more pronounced if she didn’t have makeup on.
‘Can you hear that? I think it’s the sound of rain…’ My eyes shot skyward as I made a hissing sound that had her eyes pinching in discomfort.
‘I hate you.’
I stopped making the noise at her pitiful groan. She looked from me to the door. Vacillating a few seconds longer, she sighed. ‘Could you at least smile?’ she suddenly commanded.
I blinked, certain I’d misheard. ‘What?’
‘If I’m going to put my life in your hands, I’d like to know that the last thing I see is a smile. So, if you don’t mind.’ She waved a hand at my face.
Jesus.‘You can’t be serious.’
‘Deadly.’
Cursing under my breath, I squeezed my eyes shut. ‘You fucking strange human being.Fine.’
With some effort, because those muscles weren’t ones I used regularly, I forced a fake-as-shit smile to my lips. My mouth stayed closed, so it probably looked like I was constipated rather than happy, but she had asked for a fucking smile, so this was the best she was getting.
She considered me for a moment.
I dropped the smile, cheeks already starting to ache. ‘Better?’
‘Not in the slightest. That was terrifying. You have seen a human being smile before, right?’ Without giving me a second to reply, she huffed out a sigh. ‘Come on then.’ She waddled—because that was all her movements could be called—towards the red door I’d indicated.
Strange woman.
I slipped the keys out of my pocket. She gasped beside me, making me feel like a movie villain.
‘You could have told me you had keys.’
