No, fuck him.
I was furious, making my way right towards him, snatching the door from his grip and slamming it shut.
“Sit down! I’m not done with you!” I yelled in his face, surprising even myself.
I was going to make him react if it was the last thing I did. He needed to show me something…remorse, regret, hate.
Give me something. I am worth that much.
“What do you want from me, Lisa?” he asked, sounding so exhausted it deflated me instantly. “Do you want an apology? Well then, I’m sorry. I am sorry I am a shit dad that let money get in the way. The way I was raised made me want for everything. I had nothing growing up, going hungry almost every day. I wanted to make sure that my children never suffered that fate. Things escalated quickly once the business started doing well. To put it in simple terms, I got greedy. I let all of this cloud my judgment, and now I see it was for nothing. There’s nothing left for me. You don’t think I know what a terrible father I am?”
I took a step back as if his words had physically pushed me. There was no way I was hearing this right. Was he actually admitting his mistakes?
“I lost myself, then your mother, later Lucas, and now you. I’m losing the business. It is going down fast, and it’s what I deserve. You need to leave, Lisa, before you're caught up in any of this.”
Was he being serious? Was he actually concerned? I stared at him, hoping by some miracle that I could read his true intentions. The only thing keeping me steady was Davis’ hand on my own. I couldn't tell if the words he spoke were true, but God, did I want them to be. I wished and hoped that his feelings were genuine.
“She won’t be. They know she had nothing to do with your idiocies. I made sure of it,” Davis interjected, because I had suddenly lost my voice again.
I wasn’t sure what to say now, what to do. Whatever anger I had about his indifference was washed away with the need for his apology to be true. It took me a few seconds, but I composed myself, shaking the shock off. I took a step towards him again.
“Are you actually sorry? Or do you think that’s just what I want to hear? Are you even capable of feeling remorse in that bitter heart of yours?”
“I deserve that and more. I know that, Lisa. There’s no changing what I’ve done, and there’s no changing the way you see me. I can tell you it’s the truth, but you will always doubt it. Hopefully, my actions will speak louder than my words.”
Before I could ask him what he meant by that, there was a heavy pounding on the door. Derek opened it, without being told to come in, two cops behind him. His eyes landed on me, and then on Davis, who gave him a small nod. Derek made his way to my dad, telling him what he was under arrest for and reading him his rights. Dad didn’t say a word, not arguing or putting up a fight. I couldn’t understand what was happening anymore. This whole one-eighty had me spun on my axis and I couldn’t seem to get straight again.
I need to talk to Lucas.
“How many days has she been throwing up now?” I asked Lucas now that Liv had gone to work. She had already missed a week, but she refused to miss anymore, even though she was clearly still sick. “Has she told you about the cancer yet?”
“No, I keep hinting at it, asking her if she needs to go back to the doctor, but she keeps telling me no, that she’s fine. I don’t understand it. I thought we didn’t keep secrets. This news was hard to swallow, but she should have told me. I could help her through it. Should I just tell her I know?” Lucas looked so lost as he spoke with his hands holding the sides of his head, like he couldn’t contain his thoughts any longer.
“Let me talk to her. Maybe I can make her slip or something. I have some medical news of my own I could share to start the conversation.”
I still hadn’t told Lucas about my stupid tubes, but I guess now was as good a time as any. I still needed to tell him about dad as well. His arrest was all over the news with questions such as ‘who will take over?’ and ‘what happens next?’
“Medical news?” He sat straight up. “I swear if you tell me you have cancer, I’m going to lose it.”
“Nothing like that,” I calmed him, placing my hand on his shoulder. “I can’t carry my child the way I should. My tubes are shit, and don’t work the way they should anymore.”
“You’re still going to be a mom,” he said so quickly that it caught me off guard. He said it as if it was a fact, no doubt about it.I would be a mother.“I’m sorry you can’t carry it, though. You would have really enjoyed that part, I am sure.” He was watching Abi as he spoke. She was now crawling around the floor like an expert, playing with her toys. I think she knew we were watching because she suddenly turned up the charm, giggling prettily.I want one.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” I bit at my cheek as I stared at the ground, knowing that this would be as good a time as any to confess finally. “I had an ectopic pregnancy shortly after John and Ivy died. It’s the reason my tubes are the way they are.”
“Lisa, why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there for you.”
“No, you couldn’t. You were just as broken. Don’t you remember? I couldn’t get you to get off the floor, let alone tell you I had lost John’s baby.” I stared into his eyes, seeing if he caught that part. He did, squinting his eyes at me for a brief second.
“John’s baby?”
“I didn’t want to tell you, Lucas. I know he was your best friend, and I didn’t want to come between you two. I broke it off with him not long before he died. I am so sorry.” My hands clasped together, squeezing tight as I waited for his reaction. I thought he would blow a gasket. Instead, he pulled me into a tight hug.
“I knew, Lisa. He had told me about you guys the day after you kissed for the first time. I was pretty pissed, but John convinced me what he felt for you was real. He was going to ask you to marry him when you broke up with him.” My chest caved as a tear slid down my cheek. I had no idea this entire time he had known, but it was that last sentence that tore me apart.
“Why would you tell me that?” I choked, clutching at his shirt.
“You should know how much he loved you. You should know how serious he was about you. He had my blessing, and he was going to tell you that, too. You two would have made such wonderful parents. I know in my heart that you are going to be a wonderful mother, Lisa. I promise you that.” He squeezed me tight before pushing me back. “I am sorry you went through that alone.”
