“We ate at the restaurant where we had our first date and took a walk under the moonlight like we had done many years prior. The man I was prosecuting was the head of a large gang and he'd ordered his men to intimidate me. Back then, I wasn't the large man you see now. I was fit, but I didn't fight. I didn't lift and my muscles weren't exactly the strongest. Five men grabbed Grace and I, as we walked by, pulling us into a dark alley. Immediately, I knew we were in trouble and I knew I was the one to blame."
My heart raced with the reminder of that moment, the grappling fear of it all. It was as if it was playing out before me again. The horrors of that night haunt me daily, causing nightmares most nights. I swallowed those feelings down and continued my story. Lisa was listening so attentively, letting me tell it all uninterrupted.
"The men didn't waste time as they beat me, pummeling me to the floor in seconds. Three of them were on me while two of them held Grace down. She yelled and screamed, and fought as hard as she could as they tore at her clothes. I tried to fight, but these men were unrelenting as they punched and kicked me until I was on the floor, unable to move.” My eyes shut tight at the memory, clearly seeing it in my mind, forever ingrained.
“I was bleeding and doomed to watch as these men raped Grace in front of me repeatedly. She had stopped fighting after the third time. Her eyes locked with mine as she stretched her hand out towards me. I tried to crawl to her, to grab that hand, but so many of my bones were broken. I couldn't see out of one of my eyes, and I could hardly breathe from the many broken ribs. The last man was too rough with Grace, killing her in front of me as he choked her while he raped her. I witnessed the life leave her body as she took her last choked breath."
I felt the same brokenness I felt that night. My heart and my mind would never let me forget that my arrogance got my wife killed. I would never forgive the weak man I was. I fought back the tears that threatened to build as I tried to continue.
"They left me for dead in that alleyway. I stared at Grace's lifeless body as I slowly crawled to her. I passed out the moment I grabbed her hand. She felt so cold despite the warm spring air. She was no longer my wife, just a shell of the woman I loved for a decade. I woke up in the hospital a week later under protective services.” I cleared my throat, daring to look her way once more. Her blue eyes held mine so attentive, filled with tears.
“I met many cops in my line of work, so they treated me like their own. Izzy had been watched like a hawk by all the boys in blue while I was in my coma. My friend at the time, Derek, took over the investigation into my wife's murder, and my assault. It didn't take long to find the low-lifes that killed her. The problem was I felt no satisfaction from putting those men behind bars." I remembered the day of their sentencing and the absolute rage I felt. It ate me up inside, fueling me with a need for revenge.
"Only one of them got a life sentence and the others a decade. It wasn't enough—none of it was. I felt cheated by the system, so I took matters into my own hands. I quit my job and began to train for a year.”
“Izzy was raised by my mother at the time, since I'd all but lost my mind with grief and thoughts of revenge. I didn't think Izzy was safe with me. I used everything I learned from my job and found the man that turned my life into hell. But I didn't kill him. I beat his guards and kidnapped him. He was scared even if he didn't show it.”
“He had a look of fear in his eyes as he took in the abandoned warehouse basement and the many tools I had brought out. I tortured that man for hours in ways I won't describe, but at the end of it, I didn't feel much better. There was nothing I could do to bring my wife back, to bringmeback."
The tears I had been holding back betrayed me as they slid down my cheeks. Lisa's face reflected my own, crying for me. Her hands squeezed mine tightly, comforting me as best she could.
"I was lost, and that's when I met Carter. He was twenty at the time and trying to avoid the gang lifestyle. He had seen me drink myself stupid and brought me to an AA meeting at his church. I wasn't an alcoholic, but I certainly had a drinking problem at the time.” I cleared my throat, wiping at my tears.
“We talked about a world where there was no gang violence or drugs. That's when we decided to train people to fight so that they could defend themselves. We opened a gym together, and that later led to sparing and eventually our underground fighting ring. The money we made from it, we would donate and use it to pay for classes to teach self-defense to women.”
At this point, I was so surprised Lisa hadn’t spoken once. I wondered what she was thinking, and if by any chance she would flee when I finished telling her everything about me. Especially about how much of a shit father I had been to my daughter.
“Izzy has a hard time forgiving me for what happened to her mother. She has an even harder time forgiving me for not raising her. She has every right to hate me, so I don't pester her." My head hung in shame, knowing I let her and Grace down. It tore my heart with guilt when I thought about it.
"The point of me telling you this dark, horrid story is so you can see that I have been through hell already. I know how to work the system, and I still have friends in high places. Currently, Derek is helping me find what we need to bring your dad down legally. But if that doesn't work, I will take matters into my own hands. I promise you that.”
I squeezed her hands in mine, engulfing them as I did. “I have nothing left to lose but you. So please, stay. Stay here with me and let me save you. Let me make you strong, and fight alongside you. Don't do this alone. Don't go back to that asshole because you think you need to."
I held her eyes with a plea, begging her to stay here. I don't want to lose her. She needs to believe that she has a choice. She needs to know that marrying Chris isn't the only way to keep Lucas and Liv safe. I watched her face closely for any signs of what she may say, of how she may be feeling. She was hard to read, aside from the tears she let slip from her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Davis." It felt like my heart exploded at her words. It seemed it didn't matter what I told her, she had made up her mind. She doesn't want me. I was sure my story scared her away more than helped.
"Please, don't go, Lisa," I pleaded with her, taking each of her hands into my own. She shook her head at me, further tearing into my heart.
"I am sorry that happened to you, Davis. I am sorry you had to go through any of that. I can't imagine the pain you went through. You're an amazing man, Davis. It's why I'm so surprised you want me. I'm weak and stubborn and I can be so crass sometimes. How can you want me?"
I wasn't expecting these words to leave her mouth. I was certain she was rejecting me, but now I was not so sure.
"Lisa, are you kidding me? You're an amazing woman. Look at what you're willing to go through just to keep your brother safe. That mouth of yours is something I love. You have a powerful spirit. You don't know it yet, but there's a warrior in you, and I plan on bringing her out. I want you, Lisa. All of you. Will you stay with me?" I asked her, begging and hoping for the universe to give me a miracle.
Please, for once, let things go my way. For once, let me be happy.
11: If You'll Have Me
Lisa's P.O.V.
Davis just bared his soul to me. He told me the darkest part of his past and it broke me to hear it. The man before me was not the same man from his past. The tragedy that had befallen him had changed him forever. It explained so much of who he was and who he was now. Seeing Davis cry was the saddest thing I had ever witnessed. I didn't realize how much his tears would affect me. It felt like my heart had shattered inside my chest and was still trying to put itself back together.
His question hung in the air for a few seconds. I knew he was waiting for me to answer, but it was as if my voice had run away. I felt like I couldn't speak as I thought of his past more, and the choice laid before me. He told me there was a warrior in me, and I wanted to believe him so badly. I just didn’t see that in myself, but I would trust Davis. His offer was so tempting, and knowing his past now made my decision easier. He was right. There isn't much left for him to lose, so what do I have to lose by taking a chance on him?
Dad was going to kill me.
"Are you sure you want me to stay?" I asked, finally finding my voice again.
