I think of leaving the Shadow Realm…of walking out of this place forever. And then I think of Lucian. The way he held me last night, the tenderness in his touch…the way he looked at me like I was something precious. The taste of him on my tongue, and the feel of him between my legs…his mouth on me and his voice commanding me to come for him…
Do I really want to leave all that? Do I want to leave him?
"We are going home, aren't we? Jules? Hello?"
Hanna snaps her fingers under my nose, and I blink, startled out of the trance I'd slipped into.
"I don't know," I admit, folding my hands in my lap. "I haven't been here that long myself. I mainly spent my time trying to escape…and being traumatized by monsters. And then rescued by Lucian."
"Monsters? Plural?" Hanna frowns. "You told me about the Demon Don. What else tried to eat you up since you got here?"
I feel my cheeks get hot at her phrasing. Eat me up, indeed.
I push away the memory of Lucian’s mouth between my thighs, the possessive groan he made as he tasted me, and clear my throat.
"There was a…creature. In the dungeon. It covered me in slime and tried to take over my mind with…with horrible thoughts. That was the first time Lucian came to rescue me. He carried me back here and gave me a bath to get the slime off. Then he warmed me up…he made me feel safe," I finish softly.
"It sounds to me like you’re really beginning to care for this Vampire Don of yours," Hanna says slowly.
I bite my lower lip.
"I kind of am. I know he looks incredibly fierce and scary but…he's never been anything but gentle with me."
"Careful, Jules," Hanna warns, narrowing her eyes. "I know he’s hot, but you're going to talk yourself into staying in this weird place if you don't watch out."
I wave a hand, trying to brush it off, but the truth is, I'm rattled. Because more and more, I am thinking of staying. But I can’t admit that—not even to myself.
"No, I won't!” I say quickly. “I've just…never been with a man who actually loves curvy women before, that's all. Remember my last situationship with that jerk, Craig?”
“Ugh.” Hanna makes a face. “I never liked him.”
“I know—he never liked any of my friends either. So I said, ‘why don’t we hang out with your friends?’ But he kept making excuses to stay home—he never wanted me to meet his friends. And then, finally, he admitted he was ashamed for them to see me because I wasn't thin enough!"
The memory rises up like a sour taste at the back of my throat, stinging with old pain. I can still remember the shame I felt…and then the anger. I promised myself not to date again after that, and I haven’t…well, until Lucian. If what we’re doing can be considered dating.
"Craig—what an asshole. And it wasn’t like he was some prize—he had arms like pipe cleaners and those little chicken legs,” Hanna says, indignant on my behalf. “You broke up with him on the spot, right? And I don't blame you!"
"Exactly. But it's different with Lucian. He's proud of me. He wanted to show me off to the Necromancer Don yesterday. He was eager to be seen with me."
I shrug, my cheeks warming with embarrassment.
"I've just never had a man feel like that about me before…like he's lucky to have me because I'm curvy. Not despite it—because of it."
Hanna gives a visible shiver.
"Please don't mention that weird skeleton Don again. The way he looked at me…" She shakes her head like she's trying to shake off a bad dream. "I've never had a man look at me that way before—if he is a man. It was like…like he wanted to eat me up."
"That's how I feel about Lucian—but in a good way," I say. "It's all so surreal. Like everything is turned on its head here. And it's nice to be wanted. To be worshiped for my curves. But of course I want to go home. I miss you and everyone else in Book Club."
"We would miss you too, if you stayed here. But I'm acting like I can go home anytime I want and I know I can't," Hanna says quietly. "How are we going to get out of here?"
Before I can answer, a deep voice speaks from the doorway.
"You won't be going anywhere yet—not until I can arrange it."
I turn, startled. Lucian stands there, his tall form framed by the carved doorway. His dark suit emphasizes his broad shoulders and his eyes are dark. I wonder if he heard us talking and feel my cheeks get hot all over again. I didn’t even hear him approach. Despite being so big and muscular, he’s quiet as a cat.
"Oh, er…then what are we doing?" I ask, my voice a little too high.
