Did I do something to chase him away?
Five years after Liam was born, we were settled and still so happy.
We had moved out of his parents' house because Atlas and his best friend, Trace, had built me my dream home. It was just as he had promised—a two-story, four-bedroom house with white siding and dark blue shutters.
A big porch with a swing, a large deck for barbecues, and a huge backyard for our active, almost five-year-old to run around in.
Our little boy was about to enter kindergarten that fall, and I missed my period. I justknew,but I took a test anyway to show Atlas.
He went still as his eyes filled with happy tears before lifting me into the air, both of us laughing and crying as he thanked me for our growing family.
He had gone out right then and there, telling me over his shoulder that he needed to get something, and came back with a giant bouquet of sunflowers—my favorite flowers—and a little shirt for Liam that read'Big Brother'.
Liam's eyes had gone huge, and he had screamed his happy little head off at the prospect of having a sibling to play with, already declaring that we would name himVelociraptor Vegeta. Thank you to Uncle Trace for showing him Dragon Ball-Z.
While Atlas had fallen on his ass from laughing so hard, I had gently vetoed that name and told our silly little boy to wait until we found out what his sibling was.
His excitement had only increased tenfold when we found out it was another boy, and we all agreed that Noah was a fine name.
My husband wassocaring, attentive, and considerate during both pregnancies and deliveries. He held me through the sickness of both pregnancies, through the pain of labor, telling me how proud he was, how strong I was.
In the delivery room—both times—he never left my side, holding my hand, his face pressed against mine while I breathed through contractions.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful," he tells me. "You're doing so good, baby. I'm so proud of you. Breathe with me, okay? In. Out. That's it. I've got you. I love you, I love you..."
When they placed the boys on my chest after they were out, he cried with me both times, hugging us tightly.
"I love you. I love you so much, Wendy," he gently ran a hand over Liam's head, looking at both of us in awe. "Look at him. Look at what you did, baby. You are amazing..."
Then years later, with Noah, it's all the same love.
When Liam storms into the room, eager to meet his baby brother, Atlas scoops him up and brings him to the bed, where Noah rests against my chest.
"Hi, mama," Liam says, kissing my cheek and causing something to click in place in my chest—all of my boys with me. Liam then leans down to kiss Noah's head. "Hi, Noah."
Diane and Emmett watch us proudly from the doorway of the hospital room, allowing our little family to meet.
Atlas grabs his phone and tosses it to his mom, "Mom, take a picture of my beautiful family."
He was so proud. Of us. Of me.
Where did that man go?
Chapter Two
Wendy
I guess it started around a year ago.
Slowly. So slow that I barely even noticed, like the frog in the pot, simmering as the temperature of the water climbs, and then it's too late.
Atlas would stay late to finishpriorityjobs at the shop. Just one night, then one whole week, then I blink and a month has passed without him at the dinner table.
Life moves so fast with kids.
One month turns into two, then three, then four.
Now, he's completely missing Liam's basketball games, Noah's art showcases, family movie nights, and date nights.
