She had tracked me down to the local Walmart, where I had been with Diane and Atlas. I still remember the cold dread that washed over me when I saw the rage on her face.
The slap to my face barely registered. That was a standard punishment in our household: a slap to the face, a slap to the head, hit with a wooden spoon, or the nearest object thrown at you.
I hid it from Atlas, knowing he would worry, but she ripped the mask clean off that day.
"What the fuck!"
Atlas roars, pulling me behind him as I cradle my tender cheek. She turned her ring in—something she liked to do when she was feeling really angry.
When I pull my hand away, I see a smear of blood on my fingers.
Atlas notices and sees red.
"Don't you ever fucking touch her again!"
The commotion draws the attention of the other shoppers, the people of our town, who now stop to gawk at the scene.
Shame roots me to my spot behind Atlas as my mother moves to hit me again. She can't reach me behind Atlas’ body shielding me, but her words cut me just as deeply.
"This is the thanks I get for taking care of you?" She snarls, ignoring Atlas yelling at her to back up and Diane trying to yank her away. Her voice echoes through the entire store, "Spreading your legs like a whore and getting knocked up!"
Atlas freezes.
His entire body locks up as her words register and the humiliation makes me lose the battle with my tears. I was planningto tell Atlas that night. I had been trying to find the words to do so all week, ever since I missed my usually very on-time period.
Every time I tried, the what-ifs stole the words right from my throat.
What if he doesn't want this? What if he doesn't want us? What if he’s upset? What if he thinks this baby is ruining his life like I ruined hers?
Atlas turns to me as Diane steps right in my mother’s face, both of them exchanging heated words. His warm hands cup my cheeks, and I meet his soft brown eyes.
"Is it true?"
After a moment of hesitation, I nod, the anxiety choking me as I squeak, "I'm so sorry."
Atlas opens his mouth to respond until Diane's voice cuts him off, her tone calm and measured as she faces down my enraged mother.
"Atlas. Take Wendy out to the car. Now."
My mother looks about ready to explode at that, but Diane leans in and whispers something in her ear that makes her visibly pale.
Atlas wraps his arm around my waist and guides me out of the store, tucking my head into his chest and glaring at anyone gawking, as he brings me to Diane's van. I break into pieces when I’m safe in his lap.
"I'm sorry," I sob into his chest, grasping the front of his shirt in my fists. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Atlas, I—"
"Shh..." Atlas presses kisses to my forehead, my cheeks, my eyes, kissing away my tears.
When I pull back to see his face, he doesn't look angry or scared.
He's smiling at me.
"It's okay, baby. I promise, everything will be okay. I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much, Wendy."
He presses his hand to my belly, "And you too."
While those moments were completely humiliating, they were also made bearable by Atlas soothing me, comforting me, assuring me that he loves me.
There’s no Atlas this time.
