My chest puffs out at this, feeling both excitement at Wendy's smile and a surge of determination to make this night perfect for us.
Yet underneath that warmth, an old cold unease starts to seep in—slow and poisonous, like a shadow over my hope.
What if this is your last day with her, Atlas?
What if she goes to bed and doesn't wake up tomorrow?
The intrusive thoughts hit me hard.
Horrifying images, my worst nightmares, flash in my mind: Wendy dead in all manner of ways. Wendy sick and wasting away in a hospital bed. Wendy bleeding out while I'm powerless. Wendy's car crumpled on the side of the road.
I wince, snapping my eyes closed and struggling to shake the nightmarish images and steady my breath.
Dr. Mason, Dr. Wilson, and Dr. Newman's voices all sound in my head, a soothing chorus of coaching.
Facts. What are the facts?
I glance at the kitchen, where Wendy is, hearing her soft humming and smelling her warm vanilla scent.
Wendy is safe. Wendy is home. I am home. I am safe.
The tight coil in my chest eases as I repeat my mantra.
Wendy is safe. Wendy is home. I am home. I am safe.
"Hey," Taylor says softly, a note of concern in her voice. "You okay?"
Taking a few deep breaths, I nod. "How much do you know about what happened?"
"Just that you were struggling. You needed time away to heal, but you're doing better," she says, gesturing to me and then in Wendy's direction. "Clearly."
A wave of gratitude washes over me toward my wife.
Even after all I've done, she still protects me. She could have blasted my neglect from the high hills, preaching about how terrible a husband and father I was, and she'd be correct.
But she protected me, even then.
God, I love her so much. I don't deserve her, but I'm going to work every day to prove that I'm worthy.
"I'll admit, I didn't like you for a while,” Taylor says plainly. “But she loves you."
"I love her. I never stopped, I just..." I trail off, the tears stinging my own eyes. "She can tell you, if she wants. And if you want to know."
Taylor shrugs. "You're here now. It's not my business, but... just... don't fuck this up again. She was really... she was not well. She was trying to hold it all together, but I knew she was close to breaking."
I squeeze my eyes shut. The floor creaks near the kitchen, and when I look at the doorway, I can see Wendy's shadow tucked behind it, listening to us.
It makes me smile, just as Taylor's next words do.
"But, I know you love her, Atlas. It's almost sick—I've never seen two people more in love in my life. My aunt and I kind of hoped you'd find your way back to each other."
I keep my eyes on the doorway and pour every bit of love, gratitude, and respect I have for my wife into my words.
"I love her more than words can say. She's my whole world. She pulled me out when I was drowning."
"Remember that," Taylor tells me as footsteps clomp down the stairs. "Alright, the last one to my car is paying for the popcorn!"
"I don't have any money!" Noah shrieks, his voice panicked. I laugh and see Wendy, trying to look casual as if she wasn't eavesdropping—little sneak—walks out from the kitchen.
