I don't say anything after that, I just stay on the phone with him until I can hear him snoring on the other line.
But before I hang up, I whisper to him.
"I love you, Atlas."
Chapter Twenty-Six
Wendy
It's the second week of January, Atlas' first weekend visitation with the boys.
And Emmet just called me saying that Diane's appendix burst.
"Could you bring the boys right to the garage? I already called Atlas. He's really looking forward to this weekend, sweetheart."
I can't help but smile at that.
Thoughts of this weekend were bittersweet for me. I was excited for the boys to spend time with their Dad, to start rebuilding, but... I was going to miss them so much.
Then I thought about this being our future, just weekend and holiday drop offs, missing out on half of my children's lives. I was trying not to fixate on it so much, and now there's a deviation in the plan that's throwing me off.
"Of course," I agree easily, already walking out to my car after my shift at Mabel's. "Do you guys need anything?"
"No, we're fine," Emmett assures me. "Thank you, though."
"Give Diane my love," I say before we hang up and I head toward the boy’s schools to pick them up.
"I thought Mom-Mom was picking us up," Liam says, shoving his bag in the back and giving his brother a high five.
"Pop had to take her to the hospital—she's okay,”I assure both of them when they look worried. “Her appendix burst, so they had to remove it. She'll be there overnight, but she's fine."
Liam frowns, "So, who's going to watch us?"
I shoot him a look because he knows who's going to watchhim; he just hasn't been looking forward to it.
With his grandparents as a buffer, Liam was more willing to spend the weekend there. Noah was nervous, but I think he’s growing curious about his dad. Liam will be harder to reach… probably because he and Atlas are so alike.
Liam huffs as Noah asks, "Dad?"
"Yeah, I'm going to drop you guys off at the garage, and your Daddy will bring you home. Isn't that fun—you guys haven't been to the garage in a while," I smile, trying to turn this into a positive.
"Yeah, ever sincethatbecame his new home," Liam mutters, not low enough for me not to catch.
"Liam," I plead, and he sighs, before nodding his head. "I would like for you to try. You remember what Dr. Stone says—you don't owe him forgiveness, and you're not responsible for repairing the relationship. Neither of you are," I say, glancing back into the mirror at Noah, who looks more open.
"Trying doesn't mean forgiving him, either. I think you deserve to be heard, though, if you want to speak to him about it."
Liam crosses his arms, "What happens when he disappears again?"
That's a fair question. I know that despite his angry tone, it's derived from fear—the same fear that runs through my mind every day.
What happens if this is all temporary?
What if Atlas pulls the rug out from under us again?
And the fact of the matter is that he could. He might. He might stumble, he might fall, but knowing what I know now, I won't leave him alone to heal.
What Atlas told me changes things. He didn't pull away from me because he doesn't love me anymore; he pulled away because he was scared. But I'm brave. I can be brave enough for the both of us. I can be strong enough for the both of us.
