Bruno didn’t get the feeling that her cheer was a front for a sales pitch. She was enjoying herself. She was genuinely excited to show him the house and point out the features, and not shy about calling out potential flaws or expenses. She was also extremely knowledgeable, and every time Bruno asked a question about construction or layout, she had a ready answer, and often even a remodel estimate. “Don’t believe a contractor when they tell you they can do it for less than that. They get into these oldwalls and they are going to find that the plumbing has to be stripped back to the fixtures to get it up to code. They won’t even be able to put it back the way they found it.”
“Does that mean the plumbing is failing?” Bruno wanted to know.
“Not even a little. Those old systems were built to last, they just aren’t up tocode, which is a very different thing. Once you expose them, you have to redo them. The bank cares about process and following the letter of the law, not whether it works or not, and while they technically own the house with the mortgage, they call the shots.”
When they had circled back around to the front door again, Clarice paused with her clipboard. “What’s your impression? Is this your dream home?”
Bruno turned to look at the empty rooms. It was hard to picture the spaces with furniture. “I like it,” he said honestly. “But I’m not sure it is.”
“Absolutely fine,” Clarice said, with a sunny smile. “Let’s take a look at the next one and see how it suits. If you’ve only just started house hunting, there’s no reason to snap upgood enoughwhenjust rightmight be around the corner!”
Bruno followed her to the second house, a ranch-style home with a two-car garage. It was a more modern house, and Bruno liked the space inside a great deal more, but the yard was much, much smaller. “You get that with single-story houses,” Clarice agreed, when he made the observation out loud. “They need a bigger footprint. Sometimes, they’ll span two lots, or be on a bigger plot, but this neighborhood was already pretty built up when this one went in.”
“It’s like a game show,” Clarice said, as they returned to the front door. “Is! This! The! House?! Let me put you in a spotlight while you make life-altering decisions!”
Bruno grinned with her. “Well, Bob,” he said, going along with her joking, “I like this house. Lots of potential. Great bathrooms. New appliances that are part of the price! But it’s close to neighbors, and I don’t need to pay for a two-car garage. I say,no go!”
Clarice made ablatnoise. “We have a loser! But don’t give up hope, contestant Bruno! Let’s see what’s behind curtain number three!” She held up another key. “We just have time for a bonus round, if you will follow me a block over. It’s a two-bedroom hidden gem. Will it be the house of your dreams? Join us after this brief commercial break to drive there!”
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS
11
CLARICE
Bruno laughed as Clarice locked up and she replayed it in her head for the short drive to the final house. He had a really nice laugh, and he didn’t seem to mind her being silly about showing houses. Framing it as a game show didn’t offend him, even though Clarice appreciated that it was a big serious commitment to buy a house.
“I remember this one,” Bruno said, meeting her at the front door. “The one that’s overpriced because they don’t really want to sell.”
“It’s notperfect,” Clarice cautioned, as she unlocked the door. “It only has two bedrooms.”
It was a three-story cottage on one of the biggest lots in the neighborhood, and it was absolutely packed with charm. It was even scantly furnished, although clearly un-lived in. The cabinets were empty and the beds had bare mattresses. The sofa had seen better days.
They started the tour at the top, where two bedrooms split the floor almost equally. Neither one of them was very large, but they did have generous closets and big windowsthat looked out in every direction. The view over the back yard was the best, and there was a snow-covered swing set and a raised playhouse. Several winter-bare birch trees dotted the property.
“Veronica tried to buy this one to use as a short term rental before the city clamped down on those. Veronica backed out on the purchase, but the seller left it on the market. She lives in Minnesota now; this was her mom’s house. I’m guessing that she grew up here. Doesn’t it look perfect for kids?”
One of the rooms was clearly a child’s room, with a headboard in the shape of a spouting whale.
The upstairs bathroom was small, but it had a full-sized tub. There was a second half-bath downstairs, right off the laundry room. At the bottom of the house was a daylight basement with the furnace room.
“This window doesn’t count for egress,” Clarice explained, pointing up at the sliver of a window. “But if you really had your heart set on three bedrooms, you could excavate a window well and put one in to bring it up to code.”
“This wouldn’t be a bad office,” Bruno said thoughtfully as they walked back up the stairs to the ground floor. “But it could be a game room. I could put a desk here, in the breakfast nook, instead.”
“That would be a wonderful place to work,” Clarice agreed. It was getting dark, and when the lights were on, she saw more of their reflection in the window than she did outside. “I’m sorry, I have to get back to the office now so Veronica can get to her hunter’s club.”
“She’s a hunter? I didn’t realize there was a club for that.” Bruno sounded deeply skeptical, and Clarice could understand why.
“Not ahuntinghunter… it’s a horse thing. They have pretty, pedigreed horses that jump over things and are judged on their beauty.”
“That makes more sense for Veronica.” Bruno had the nicest chuckle.
Clarice turned off all of the lights and locked up, then lingered on the porch for a moment because she really didn’t want to say goodbye yet. “Do you want a printout for this one? I could make you one at the office.”
“We have a winner!” Bruno said in his gameshow voice. Then he dropped into his usual tones. “Well, depending on what the banks says. Do you think they’d take less than they’re asking?”
Clarice shrugged. “It’s been on the market for a while. No one has made an offer for some time now, so it’s possible.”
