Everything hurts. Absolutelyeverythingis excruciating seeing her this upset.
When she squeezes her eyes shut, my palms spin Kenzie’s shoulders before pulling her into a tight hug. A lightOhescapes her lips, but then she rests her cheek on my chest andreally lets go. Her shoulders shake beneath my firm grip as tears wet my t-shirt.
I’d rather play a double header in the midday heat than watch Kenzie cry. The helplessness gnawing at my gut has me rubbing soothing circles between her heaving shoulder blades and murmuring reassurances. After what feels like a heartbreaking eternity, Kenzie quiets. Then she ducks her chin as her cheeks pink. I usually love seeing that slight blush on her face, but my brows quirk seeing it now.
“What is it?” My voice sounds like gravel being tossed in a dry cement mixer.
“I made a mess of your shirt.”
“I’ve got other ones.”
“But this one is your favorite.”
I glance down at my faded The White Stripes tour shirt that I’d bought my freshman year of college. It’s the only graphic shirt I own that isn’t baseball themed. The navy fabric is slightly darker now that it’s damp.
“I don’t care.”
Another softOhescapes her lips. They’re even pinker than usual, like she’s been chewing on them all morning. I feel like a complete scumbag when my attention snags on her mouth for two halting seconds.
Dragging my focus back to her eyes, I ask, “Do you want towatch a movie?”
“Yes,” she says with a relieved exhale, leaning her cheek on my chest again.
A grin blooms at my small victory. I learned early on that Kenzie likes to dissolve into the world of Marvel when she’s sick or exhausted—a habit she picked up in her teen years. She’d often invite me to join her in the at-home movie theater in the guest wing. I’d been surprised to find that when given the option between Captain America, Iron Man, or Thor, Kenzie prefers Ant Man, saying she likes how he makes her laugh.
“Wait.” Kenzie lifts her chin to look at me again. “No. I can’t. I’m making a cake.”
If it were anyone else, I’d tell them to make it later, but Kenzie likes to finish whatever she starts.
“Can I help?”
She shakes her head. “No. That’s nice of you to offer, but it’d defeat the purpose since it’s aThank youcake.”
“AThank youcake?”
The blush is back. “Yeah. For, um, catching me.”
I don’t say that I hadn’t wanted to let go of her last night. I don’t tell her that I’d been so worried after she’d been swept into the clubhouse by Aaron that I’d struck out for the first time in nine games. I don’t brush my knuckles along the pink sweeping her cheekbones, finally discovering if her skin is as soft as it looks.
Instead, I get a grip and step back, putting some distance between us. Kenzie was very publicly dumped by her fiancélast night. Now is not the time to act on the feelings I’ve been suppressing for a year.
“You don’t need to thank me with cake.” I tuck my hands into the pockets of my gray sweatpants because otherwise I’m afraid I’ll reach for her again.
“I want to. You’ve done so much for me. You’re seriously like the big brother I never had.”
This phrase is another reason why I didn’t act on my feelings before Kenzie started dating Aaron. She doesn’t see me as anything but an older brother.
I pull up the corner of my mouth, even though it feels like my ribs are shattering. “In that case, can I get double icing? I feel like protective big brothers deserve extra icing.”
Kenzie’s beaming smile almost makes the charade worth it.
Chapter 3
Kenzie
If I squint and focus solely on the action scene playing out on the ginormous screen, I canalmostpretend like yesterday didn’t happen. My behavior was so out of character it might as well have been a dream. Lots of people do crazy things in their dreams, like tell off their bosses, or win an Oscar in their underwear, or go shopping at Target with the Hulk—who surprisingly, hasincrediblefashion advice.
Because the reality of the situation is that my compassionate roommate left thirty minutes ago, his hazel eyes sweeping my face before he made me promise not to Google myself. And, of course, that’s the only thing I’ve thought of since Trevor left.
