“I can’t believe—”
“I’ve wanted—”
“So long—”
Then Trevor slows the kiss, and everything I’ve ever known vacates my brain. I thought I understood the fundamental properties of the world, ofmyself, but this moment with someone I know so well but never trulysawis calling me a fool. His mouth moves with quiet certainty, unhurried, and the faint scrape of his lower lip against mine sends shivers down my spine. I’ve never felt so wholly consumed and cherished in the same breath.
When Trevor finally breaks away, sighing my name and pressing his forehead to mine, I’m structurally rearranged. It doesn’t make sense how even the air I breathe seems sweeter now. An energy I’ve never experienced resonates in odd places—between my collarbones, behind my knees, at the tips of my fingers.
I lean back to look at him, running my tingling fingertips across the sharp edge of his jaw. Trevor watches me as I try to calculate why this is so different from any kiss I’d had before. That is, until I push my fingers through the front of his hair. Then his head dips back against the top of the couch, surrendering.
“Trevor?” I ask, continuing to play with his silky locks.
There’s something so unguarded about his slackened cheeks, about the strong muscles of his neck elongated and loose. It sends a bloom of affection beaming through my body.
“Hmm?”
“What were you trying to say, earlier, when we were kissing?”
Trevor lifts his head, focusing on me with an intensity that makes my breath hitch. “We should talk about that, actually.”
I bite the inside of my lip. “Okay.”
His mouth pops open before he closes it, reconsidering. In the seconds stretching between us, I fear the worst. He’s not regretting the kiss, is he? I’m about to shift off his lap, to run to my bedroom and hide in shame, when Trevor’s large sigh draws my attention.
“I like you. A lot. For a long time.” He lifts one hand to rub the back of his neck, the slightest tinge of pink highlighting his cheekbones. “Wow. I sound like a robot.”
His hand drops as a laugh tumbles out of him, and I can’t help but smile. I’ve always liked that Trevor doesn’t take himself too seriously.
“What I’m trying to say is”—he draws in another deep breath—“I like you more than an employee or roommate. I have since the start. I never said anything because I was your boss, and it would have been unprofessional. Then you moved in, which was incredible because I got to spend more time with you and get to know you better, but it also made things so much worse.”
“Worse?”
He nods, his gaze sliding from my eyes to the hollow of my throat. “Because I was your older brother, right? Someone to pal around with, but not someone you’d consider romantically. It was its own kind of torture. Though, I had no idea what was coming”—he swallows roughly—“how hard it would be to watch you fall for another man.”
My lungs tighten to the point of pain. “Oh.”
He frowns, his jaw tensing. “But that was nothing compared to seeing you shattered afterward. I still want to punch Aaron every time I walk into the clubhouse. Every. Single. Time. Not only for the lies he told and how he hurt you, but for not realizing what he had.”
I blink, unable to speak for several long seconds.
Trevor mistakes my silence, ducking his chin before effortlessly shifting me back onto the couch. “And you’re coming from a breakup, and this was probably just a release for you or…” His eyes squeeze closed as he winces. “…a mistake because I know you don’t see me—”
I grab his wrist when he stands. “Wait.”
Trevor could easily pull out of my grasp, but he stills as I stand, his gaze fixed on the windows.
“It’s okay.” The soft way he whispers it, like I’d never consider choosing him, like he’s used to being let down, again and again, breaks something fundamental in my soul.
“I’d need to go slow.”
His head jerks, almost as if he’s afraid to look, but his gaze eventually finds mine.
The guarded look in his eyes shatters what’s left of me. Trevor is never guarded. He’s open honesty, joyous laughter, and caring thoughtfulness.
I wet my lips. “You’re right. I just went through a breakup.” Right now, I’m more confused than heartbroken about it, but I don’t know how to articulate that. “So if anything were to change between us, I’d need…time to process it.”
Trevor is silent for so long I’m almost certain he’ll backtrack.
