Chapter One
“Howpeople die remains in the memory of those who live on”
—DameCicely Saunders
Caj
Cajwasn’t afraid ofher.She was a being who equaled his will and strength.What he wasafraid of was that she would leave.That this would be the lasttime he ever looked at her again.Never trust an angel.Only pain and suffering can come fromsuch … devotion and love.Their love is too pure for the likes ofone who takes on sin.Thewords echoed through his mind, long-lost words of a sin-eater fromthe past.One who’d known what it meant to have loved and trulylost.
What thehell do Iknow aboutlove?
Iknow a lot.
I knowit’s a feeling beyondcompare.A feeling most live and die for.
God, he’d beenreduced to arguing with himself.It had been centuries since he’deven touched on such an emotion.He lived through others andenjoyed the thrill their desires aroused in him.However, it alsokept him wanting something more.More than anything, his need forher overrode everything else.
Mercy had been hisonly chance to feel something other than the blackness of sin andthe longings of others.Being a sin-eater, he took in the sins ofhumans so they would die a sweet death and be able to go throughthe pearly gates to reach their nirvana.She, on the other hand,escorted them through gates he might never see.After all, he hadbeen cursed and doomed to this fate of taking on a mortal’s pain,anguish, and yes, even their evil.
Mercy,mybeautiful, sweet divineMercy.
Mercydeservedbetter, and she could be with someone better than him.As always,he watched her from the shadows, lurking behind the darkveil.
Mercystood off inthe far corner of the room.She was standing by a girl’s family asthey prayed for forgiveness for their loved one.With beautifulmocha-colored skin, and her long, raven hair that curled justright.
Dressedin a pair ofjeans and a blouse … another myth was destroyed.They didn’t wearrobes.Nor did she resemble a fat cherub with a diaper and wings.Just as he wasn’t dressed in an all-black robe, resembling the GrimReaper with a scythe.They wore whatever apparel would be worn atthe time.
She was lovelinesspersonified while he was scarred from his choices as well as thechoices of man.He hid in the darkest reaches of the room, notwanting her to see him.Not yet.He’d be lying if he said thatevery time was hard when it came to eating their sins.No, it washard when it came time to do so and she was there.He didn’t wanther pity.He hated that she saw what he’d become.He’d once beenhuman … a human she could love.Now he was just a thing thatsurvived on the transgressions of others.
Itwasn’t as if she’d ever saidanything, but she’d witnessed his cursed life every time he had aduty to fulfill.He had no clue what would lift the torment, andperhaps he never would.However, just once, he wanted to see hereyes burning with passion for him and not with sympathy.He wantedto know her touch again, to taste her lips against his own.No moredreaming of it, he wanted the reality.Such a memory was a lifetimeago.There was a time when she’d felt more than pity forhim.
Wasn’tthere?Or had I merelydreamed it?
He feltDirge’s presence before hesaw him.Stiffening his shoulders, he prepared himself forthe mental attack to come.
“Stillthinking that if you just screw her, everything will be, okay?Youlost your chance at that sweet thing long ago.”
Itwasn’t what Dirge saidthatset him on edge so much.It was the fact Dirge could possibly beright.Maybe he had lost his chance to be with her to feel oncemore what he had in the past with her.It had been so long agothough, before he’d become a death angel.An angel unlike Mercy,wingless and a less-glorified member of the seraphs.
“Shutthe fuckup, Dirge.Do your duty and leave me be.”
Dirgechuckled and moved to stand besideMercy.
Mercyonly turnedslightly, giving a slight nod of her head in Dirge’sdirection.
Wailingnow filledthe room, and it became obvious that the girl was slippingaway.
Dirgemoved seamlessly between theroomful of mourners, his very presence the catalyst for themournful outcry.
The roomsoon became a cacophony ofcries, the sound tearing at Caj’s heart.Lament, pain, and agony,those were the emotions in the room.Dirge survived off such.WhereCaj hated what his duty represented, Dirge could almost orgasm offit all.Dirge had been at this for centuries, and he was good atit.He helped give voice to the agony of the mourners.This was awalk in the park for him.For as much as Caj hated his job, Dirgeloved his.The only saving grace for Caj would be the fact thatwithout his duty, the souls of many would be lost.
Suddenly,a feelinghit him and pulled him out of his contemplation.
Mercywas signalingto him that it was time for him to perform his onus.She didn’tneed words to get his attention.All that was needed was herthinking of him.“Caj, yourpresence is required.”Shespoke into his dead soul, her call being the only thing that couldshut out all other sounds and make the blackness turn tolight.
Hepulled his form from obscurity, moving slowly toward her as he couldn’t do anything otherthan that.If she weren’t an angel, he’d think she was a siren asher call was so sweet.“I’m here, Mercy.”He didn’t speak into hermind, though he could have.He preferred talking to her like thisas it always caused her to speak to him.Her voice was a delightfulmelody.
“It’s time, Caj.It’s time for you to take away her sins, so she can ask forgivenessand go through the gates.”
