“Do you have a leaderboard?”I asked.
“Thinking about it.Sticker charts motivate just as much as fear.”
We walked back upstairs together.
“Spade’s got you working hard,” she said.“Too hard?”
“Just enough,” I said.“He checked in before my brain melted today.That’s something.”
“You going to be okay when this goes from maps to real?”she asked.“When all those lines on the wall turn into sirens on the news?”
“I don’t know.I hope so.”
She bumped my shoulder.“You’re tougher than you think.You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“I give myself too much blame,” I said.
“Those two things are twins,” she replied.
We made it back to the common room as Kane headed for the hallway.“Church tonight,” he said.“Prez wants all patched members and old ladies in the room.You included.”
My stomach did a little flip.“Me?”I asked.
“You help build the plan, you get to hear it,” he said.“You don’t get to talk unless someone asks you something, but you’re in there.”
“I don’t have a patch,” I said.
“You’re with me,” he said simply.
That did different things inside my chest than it had the week before.Fear mixed with pride.
“I don’t have to… vote or anything, right?”I asked.“Because I don’t know the rules.”
“No votes,” he said.“Just listen.If someone asks you something, answer honestly.Don’t sugarcoat.”
“Okay,” I said.
He studied my face.“You want to sit this one out?”he asked.“Nobody’s going to think less of you.”
I shook my head.“I want to hear,” I said.“If they’re going to swing the hammer, I want to know where it’s going to fall.”
He nodded, approval warm in his gaze.“Good,” he said.“Wear the boots.You look more intimidating that way.”
* * *
Atilla presided at the head of the table.General settled to his right.Spade had his laptop open, cables winding toward the big monitor on the wall.
A row of older women sat against the back wall, out of the way but watching: Marci, Casey, Solena, and the other old ladies.I hadn’t had a chance to get to know Meredith, Isy, and Madison as well as the other three.
Kane steered me to a seat just behind his shoulder, between him and the wall -- close enough to see everything, but easy to slip out if I needed to.
“You okay?”he murmured.
“Ask me after,” I said.
He almost smiled.
When everyone had taken their seats, Atilla rapped his knuckles on the wood.“All right.You know why we’re here.”
