“Yes, you did; you just got interrupted." I tap her tummy proudly. Trust our child to choose such a pivotal moment to signal his arrival.
“Jack, I don’t think now’s the time for us to be talking about this.” She starts breathing heavier, her forehead creasing, and a scared look washing over her eyes. “I’m having another one.” She takes one of my hands and squeezes, while her belly goes firm and tight under the other.
“Breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe,” I remind her, glad I took the advice from Alex and invested in some online coaching sessions. I can see these contractions hurt, and they’re only going to get worse. She needs me to be strong through this.
“It’s passed.” She relaxes. “Did you time how long it lasted?”
“Just over thirty seconds,” I tell her, kissing her cheek and letting her know how proud I am of her already.
“And how long since the last one?” she checks.
“About twenty minutes." I rest on the edge of the bed beside her. “Do you need anything?” I check, rubbing her ankle.
“I’ve got what I need, right here. Just promise not to leave me.” She looks a little rattled by that last contraction, maybe she’s regretting doing this here.
“Will you do the same?” I ask, pushing my luck and hoping we have time before her next contraction to talk about this.
“Jack…” She shakes her head and looks overwhelmed.
“Just hear me out…I know what I did to Jonah is scary, but doesn't it prove that I can take care of you?” I cling to whatever hope I can, that knowing what she does now will change her mind.
“I never doubted that you could.” She closes her eyes to avoid mine.
“Yes, you did. And you made the wrong judgement. You don’t know who I am and what I’ve done. Gracie, Jonah wasn’t the first man I’ve killed.” I decide she deserves the truth, even if it’s bad fucking timing. “I can live with it on my conscience, because all the men before him were bad too, but I want to put all that behind me, now. I want to change the way my father ran things. I want to live straight. And more than anything, I want us to be a family.” I lay it all out on the table for her.
“I’m not scared of who you are, Jack. Deep down, I’ve always known what you were.” I fluff her pillow some more when she struggles to get comfortable. “You said you didn’t want this. You said you didn’t want a wife or to be committed.” She reminds me of what I said that night we made our deal. The man who said those words feels like a stranger to me, now.
“You changed my mind. You made me fall in love. You fucking changed me, Gracie.” I laugh at how all this has played out. “Now, all I want is this child to beours.” I rest my hand on her stomach again. “I want us to watch him grow up together; to argue over what time he goes to bed. I want to make more like him. Cram this whole house with kids and keep this belly crammed, too.” I watch her laugh with me, while praying to a higher force that she wants it too.
“But this is us, Jack. We clash; we get on each other's nerves. We spend more time arguing than anything else. What if these feelings are just because I’m pregnant? My hormones and your instincts combined to create something disastrous.”
“So what if it is? So what if we clash and fight for the next fifty years? There's no one in the world I’d rather have piss me off.” I laugh, taking her hand and kissing her fingertips.
“You're not exactly selling this,” she smirks, starting to breathe deep again. “Shit, I’m getting another, already.” She leans forward, tensing her body and stroking the side of her belly.
“What do you want me to do?” I feel so fucking helpless; suddenly, I’ve forgotten all I was taught on that stupid course. I don’t know if I should rub her back or her belly. Should I get on the bed behind her and squeeze her hips together?
Suddenly, I feel her take my hand, and instead of squeezing it like she has the times before, she guides it towards somewhere that shocks me.
“Noooo….not now.” I shake my head because she can’t be fucking serious.
“You heard what she said. This could take a while. I need a distraction.” She starts rolling her hips seductively against my hand.
“Yeah, and she also said you were two centimetres dilated,” I point out, feeling her wet pussy drench my fingers as she uses them to create friction.
“I read that sex is safe, right up until your waters break, and mine are still intact,” she reminds me, with that needy look on her face.
“Of all the things you could have researched on pregnancy and birth, you researched that.” Nothing fails to shock me with this woman.
“Jack, you can’t say no to me when I’m birthing your child.” She rubs her belly with her free hand, lifting up the night gown she’s wearing to expose it to me fully.
“Fuck.” There's no way I’m going to be able to resist her, not when she’s ready to pop and soaking my hand.
“What do we do if you get a contraction?” I ask, slowly edging the tip of my finger inside her dilating pussy, and starting to stroke her on the inside.
“We’ll see how it plays out. I can always ask you to stop.” She looks so fucking victorious when I slide another finger inside her.
“You're crazy,” I tell her, not sure if this is appropriate, but not fucking caring.
